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McSatire PDF Print E-mail
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Tuesday, 17 July 2001 18:00
There’s a stack of news clippings here labeled “McDonald’s” that is getting so thick we finally had to move the Gary Condit file. Ba-da-boom. But seriously. I spent all week trying to write something funny about America’s Most Successful Fast Food Chain, by way of introducing a just-leaked story that spotlights the company’s latest misadventure.

 
Bottoms Up! PDF Print E-mail
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Tuesday, 10 July 2001 18:00
“All right, let’s get started. This meeting of Underage Alcohol Marketers Anonymous will please come to order. And remember, no last names.” “Can I go first?” “Fine.” “Hello, everybody.

 
Patients’ Rights: Your FAQs PDF Print E-mail
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Wednesday, 04 July 2001 18:00
Q: I hear Congress still can’t agree on that patient bill of rights. What’s the problem? A: Nothing’s more complicated than health care in America. The latest stumbling block was when several Senators realized that checking into a hospital and hiring a prostitute both started with the same question – “How much money do you have?” – and ended with, “All right, lie down and give me your underwear.

 
Father’s Day PDF Print E-mail
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Tuesday, 19 June 2001 18:00
Of all the holidays generally recognized in North America, Father’s Day has the most potential for confusion and complication, if not outright concussion. Thanksgiving, by contrast, is a snap. Everyone in America sits down to the same exact meal, then nods off as the L-tryptophan kicks in and the Lions game lurches toward halftime.

 
Mercury Retrograde PDF Print E-mail
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Wednesday, 06 June 2001 18:00
We live in strangely searching times. We look inward, outward, all around for a fresh clue why surprising things happen, and why most of them are bad. We might seek out that annoying woman on late-night TV with the Jamaican accent whose tarot cards uncannily confirm that your husband, who’s been working late for the past 27 years, is actually having an affair with the security guard.

 
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