Science in the News Print
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Tuesday, 31 July 2001 18:00
“Gimme another beer, willya Mike? And a coupla Slim Jims.” “Beer’s gonna kill ya, Louie. You oughta drink healthy like I do. Lemme see that paper.” “Whaddaya mean, healthy?” “Gatorade and vodka. It’s fulla vitamins. Hey, somebody took the sports page.”

“Yeah, they gotta bunch of thieves comin’ in here now. So, whatever. Read the regular news.”

“Ah, forget it. It’s all this ‘stem cell’ crap. I don’t get it.”

“What’s to get? It’s like that song, ‘Nothin’ but stems and cells.’”

“Stems and seeds, Louie. Hey, gimme a pickled egg, willya Mike?”

“Whatever. That science stuff’s a scam anyway. Those guys just want more money so they can blow it all on test tubes.”

“That’s right. Same thing as that genes stuff.”

“Yeah. What genes stuff?”

“You know, where they take all your genes apart and then put ‘em back together.”

“Yeah. I heard about that. So why they do it?”

“I dunno. Makes your tomatoes come out bigger.”

“Yeah, there’s another article right here. What they call ‘genetically modified orgasms.’”

“Lemme see that. Nah, it’s genetically modified organisms.”

“Isms. Whatever. So that thing with the tomatoes, is that the same as a ‘genome’? They got this other article here.”

“Genome? No, a genome’s that green thing in the Shrek movie. I took my kids.”

“You sure? I thought that was, whaddayacallit, a gnome.”

“Same thing.”

“You sure?”

“Sure. Gnome, genome. Same thing.”

“All right, then what’s a ‘Genoa’? Bunch of articles about that.”

“I dunno. Maybe that’s where they do all the cloning.”

“What cloning?”

“You know, where they make a sheep out of another sheep.”

“Yeah. Another article here. Somebody passed a bill about no human cloning.”

“Yeah. I heard Nancy Reagan is for it. But the Pope is against it.”


“Nah, that thing about stems and seeds.”

“Stems and cells.”


“So what’s the problem with cloning?”

“I dunno. Probably too many humans and not enough sheep.”

“Sounds right.”

“Mike, you got any of that beef jerky left?”

Copyright 2001 Newrite, Inc. All rights reserved. GLW’s on WGN Radio AM 720 and ( Coming soon: (
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