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Deadly Sins for Everyone PDF Print E-mail
Commentary/Politics - Guest Commentaries
Wednesday, 02 April 2008 02:18


   Since the Catholic Church scored big with its first Seven Deadly Sins back in Century Number Six, they've recently decided to do a sequel (Seven Deadly Sins II?).


Predictably, the new Deadlies are a mix of politically correct, socially manipulative, and ruling-class-friendly injunctions. And vague. What is "obscenely" rich? What is "social" justice?


Since everyone loves lists, here they are:


1. Polluting.


2. Genetic engineering.


3. Being obscenely rich.


4. Drug-dealing.


5. Abortion.


6. Pedophilia.


7. Causing social injustice.



The church, of course, is full of deadly sins itself, such as pedophilia and power-drunkenness. The Vatican, with all its gold- and ivory-inlaid art treasures and bejeweled crucifixes and priceless paintings and statuary and such, is "obscenely" rich.


What they could and should have done was identify real sins that really make real people in the real world worse off, like these:


1. Advocating universal health care.


2. Advocating climate-change hysteria.


3. Advocating taxation.


4. Advocating big government, world government, or any government.


5. Advocating public propaganda masquerading as "education."


6. Advocating a mindless drug war.


7. Advocating any form of collectivism whether it's called communism, Nazism, fascism, socialism, Marxism, welfare-ism, or Modern American Style Liberalism laundered as the benign-sounding Progressivism.



Beyond that, why should the Catholics, or any other group, have a monopoly on Deadly Sins? In a free libertarian world, everyone would get to play the sin game.


Hollywood's Seven Deadly Sins:


1. Staying married to one person for more than two months.


2. Holding intelligent political concepts.


3. Failing to surgically modify your features.


4. Doing a nude scene that is not tasteful, meaningful, and absolutely essential to the storyline, and doesn't pay really big bucks.


5. Adopting an American baby when it's oh so chic to adopt a Third World baby.


6. Being politically conservative.


7. Failing to say, "What I really want to do is direct."



Conservative's Seven Deadly Sins:


1. Voting for anyone named Clinton.


2. Failing to coercively impose your own concept of morality on everyone else.


3. Voting for anyone named Clinton.


4. Failing to see gay and lesbian propaganda in every children's storybook and cartoon show on earth.


5. Failing to bomb every country that has oil.


6. Piling on ever more mindless regulations without pretending to believe in the "free market."

7. Voting for anyone named Clinton.



Liberal's Seven Deadly Sins:


1. Individualism.


2. Self-Reliance.


3. Rationality.


4. Merely looking at a crayon scribble of a gun without experiencing heart palpitations.


5. Failing to blindly champion minimum-wage raises even though it harms the very people you say you're helping.


6. Failing to fly from country to country in private jets to decry global warming caused by people other than the jet set.


7. Continually raising taxes without pretending you're helping the "poor" and "disadvantaged."



Bureaucrat's Seven Deadly Sins


1. Thinking for yourself.


2. Admitting any wrongdoing.


3. Being genuinely helpful.


4. Being courteous.


5. Not making everyone take a number and stand in line.


6. Creating regulations that make sense.


7. Speaking to the media in any known form of ordinary English.



Business' Seven Deadly Sins


1. Opening enough checkout registers.


2. Hiring help-line people whose first language is English.


3. Failing to bombard everyone's inbox, mailbox, telephone, newspaper, and doorknob with advertising.


4. Contracts, warranties, product-assembly instructions, and fine print written in any known form of ordinary English.


5. Maintaining shopping carts that actually roll in a straight line.


6. Saying "no" to corporate welfare siphoned from taxpayer's pockets.


7. Passing up opportunities to steal people's property through eminent domain.



And just to fuel your thoughts on sin, libertarians, uniquely among the world's "-isms" that believe it's not their business to control other people's lives, have only one deadly sin:


1. Thou shalt not initiate force nor the threat of force nor fraud against any other person.



How's that for sin fuel?

More of Garry Reed's writing can be found at (

Comments (3)Add Comment
written by Mark, April 03, 2008
Great article, thanks. How anyone could still be Catholic is beyond me, and they are beyond hope.
written by Kent Reed, April 03, 2008
Garry Reed's Deadly Sins:

1) Holding your nephew's past against him.

2) Not spending any time with his nephew.

3) Not getting to know his real nephew and help him get a step up in the world.

4) Keeping your children away from your nephew.

5) Condemning your nephew of mistakes made in the past and punishing him forever for it. Even when it is water under the bridge, Garry Reed still keeps punishing people for their past and forgiven mistakes.

6) Keeping the image of your nephew in the way he was rather than what he is now.

7) Not realizing the mistakes as mentioned above and continue to pretend criticizing non-super-liberals is the thing to do to mask his own inferiority complexes and faults.
written by Brad Vidmar, April 09, 2008
Libertarians annoy me. I wish this guy would blow all of his "Libertarian-Snobbery" out his bitter, old ass.
I have a hard time believing that all these tree-hugging hippies and celebrities concerned with global warming are part of some vast left-wing conspiracy committed to screwing the oil and automotive industry(and whoever else in Big Business is making money polluting the earth)out of the billions in profits they already make every year.
Forgive me if I'm not convinced the "private sector" and free-market-competition are the answers to our planet's pollution woes.
And another thing that pisses me off about Mr.Reed and his global warming views is his willingness to ignore the fact that the one thing missing from these 1,000-year periods of warming and cooling-that he likes to cite as evidence that global warming is a hoax-is the fact during these "periods", I bet the planet wasn't also dealing with 100 years of air pollution via the automobile.
I'm no scientist, but I look at it this way: If you're chilling in your garage(the garage door down) with the car engine running and you're taking nice, healthy breaths, eventually your going to die. So why is it so hard to believe that exhaust fumes might be bad for the planet?
Also, what's wrong with Americans having Universal Health Care? Every other doctor you meet is an asshole and 9 times out of 10, you only talk to the guy(or gal) for about 5 minutes before they let their nurses take over. I'm supposed to feel sorry for them because a goverment run system might infringe on their right to earn a fuck-load of money?
And I know this guy would probably go on about how "the lack of competive wages is going to drive American physicians out of practice!"
That's the one thing about the Universal Health Care debate that I've never understood: Why can't we just let the doctors charge whatever they normally charge and let the government pick up the bill? Why do would we have to let the government control all health care prices and wages?
If anyone is going to fuck-up a Universal Health Care system and start regulating prices and what doctors can earn, it'll probably end up being the Republicans.
We all know how they love to take the axe to any and every type of federal spending(unless the money is going towards DEFENSE or their district).
Which leads me to my next complaint in regards to the Libertarian philosophy: the only significant contributions that the Libertarian movement has contributed to American politics as of late has been helping Republicans get elected and providing Talk Radio and these Conservative pundits with a defense against criticism.
Republicans have a sweet racket. They run on this platform that government doesn't work and when they go and fuck things up, they get to say "See, I told you!"
I can't recall how many Libertarians I've met that have confessed to voting Republican because they supposedly share this disdain for "Big Government."
It seems like all a Republican candidate needs to do to win over the Libertarian vote is talk shit about the Federal Government on T.V. (John Q.
Libertarian: "Obviously this guy believes in all the stuff he's telling us! He said it on T.V., it must be true!")
Plus, look at Talk Radio and all these Conservative pundits/morons. Most of these assholes claim Libertarian viewpoints while they're bitching and exaggerating, but in the end these pricks just end up swaying voters to pull the lever for the Elephants.
And when they get accused of being bias or look like an idiot 4 years later, they get to hide behind Libertarianism.
There are some aspects to the Libertarian philosophy that I strongly agree with, but Jesus H. Christ, I wish they'd give it a rest sometimes.
To me, Libertarians like Mr. Reed are like the guy who wants to throw away his T.V. because he can't figure out how to work the fuckin remote.

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