Jihad Me at Hello

I'm a man in my mid-30s, and I'm dating a woman I really love. We match each other on so many levels, and I thought we had a really great thing. But recently, she seems to want more than I can give. Specifically, she’s prodding me to say “I love you” repeatedly throughout the day, and she blows up at me for not doing it enough. Though I do love her, the required affirmations feel hollow. But I am trying. Yesterday she called, and I told her, “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” She got super-angry and said, “Then you should have called to tell me that!” WTH?! Where's the line between being present for people and being phony just to quell their unfounded insecurities?

Besieged

Understandably, if your relationship is patterned on a movie, you’d like it to be Love Actually, not Judgment at Nuremberg.

A Ruse Is a Ruse Is a Ruse

A year ago, the woman who pet-sits for me began inviting herself over for dinner. We started going out about three times a week. I always paid for dinner. She never introduced me to her friends, wouldn’t let me pick her up at her apartment, and wouldn’t let me touch her. Even a genial “thank you” touch on the arm got a grim response. Her reason: She didn’t want a relationship. I kept hoping this would change. Recently, I went on Facebook and saw that she’s been in a relationship with another man. Her response? “Well, I’m not sleeping with him, so I can see whomever I want.” After a long, demoralizing year, I ended things. Did I do right by getting out?

Not a Game Player

Having regular dinners with somebody doesn’t mean you’re dating. I have dinner with my TV several nights a week, but that doesn’t mean I should get “Samsung forever!” tattooed on my special place.