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There’s Gonna Be a Floody, Floody: "Noah" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Monday, 31 March 2014 08:47

Jennifer Connelly and Russell Crowe in NoahNOAH

Like most of you, I’d presume, I’ve known the biblical story of Noah’s Ark since early childhood. And also, presumably like most of you, I’ve always kind of wondered how Noah was able to construct a floating vessel big and sturdy enough to carry “two of all living creatures, male and female” through 40 days and 40 nights of torrential downpours and Earth-engulfing floods. But with the release of Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, the answer to the question of “Who built the Ark?” has finally been provided, and – who woulda thunk it? – apparently we have Frank Langella and Nick Nolte to thank.

 
Bee Prepared: "Bad Words," "Enemy," and "Sabotage" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Monday, 31 March 2014 08:41

Rohan Chand and Jason Bateman in Bad WordsBAD WORDS

It’s not impossible to make a comedy centered on an angry, sullen, emotionally inaccessible bastard, as Oscar Isaac recently proved in Inside Llewyn Davis. In that film, however, Isaac had a Coen-brothers script and a bunch of sensational folk songs to help carry him through. In Bad Words, director/star Jason Bateman merely has a half-workable comic conceit and access to unlimited profanities. The anger, sullenness, and inaccessibility, I’m sorry to say, win out.

 
Four Stories and Seven Hours or So – Notes on a Quadruple Feature: "Divergent," "Muppets Most Wanted," "The Earth Wins," and "God’s Not Dead" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Tuesday, 25 March 2014 14:01

Theo James and Shailene Woodley in DivergentMarch 24, 10:30 a.m.-ish: After several days spent visiting friends in Ohio – among them, now, my hosts’ adorable 17-month-old daughter – I return to my movie-reviewing duties filled with fresh perspective and hope for the future. Then I see Divergent, which earned $54.6 million over the weekend, and is already green-lit for two follow-up films. Well, the feeling was fun while it lasted.

 
Stale Magnolias: "Tyler Perry's The Single Moms Club" and "Need for Speed" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Sunday, 16 March 2014 15:57

Nia Long, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Zulay Henao, and Cocoa Brown in Tyler Perry's The Single Moms ClubTYLER PERRY’S THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB

In Tyler Perry’s new movie, a quintet of women with seemingly nothing in common beyond their single-parent status decide to ... .

I’m sorry. Can we stop for a moment? Tyler Perry has another new movie?! Is the yuletide corpse of A Madea Christmas even cold yet?

 
Get Her to the Greeks: "300: Rise of an Empire," "Mr. Peabody & Sherman," and "Titans of the Ice Age 3D" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Sunday, 09 March 2014 19:35

Eva Green in 300: Rise of an Empire300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

No movie that opens with Gerard Butler being beheaded, even off-screen, can be all that bad, and so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by the not-so-bad-ness of director Noam Murro’s 300: Rise of an Empire. I still am, considering how little fun I had at Zack Snyder’s smash-hit predecessor from 2007, yet personally speaking, it’s not hard to identify what makes this CGI-heavy bloodbath an overall better time – a much better time – than 300. But we’ll get to her momentarily.

 
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