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Noir Is the Dullest Color: "Sin City: A Dame to Kill for" and "Island of Lemurs: Madagascar" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Sunday, 24 August 2014 16:48

Eva Green in Sin City: A Dame to Kill forSIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

Let’s cut to the chase: I don’t like Sin City: A Dame to Kill for. But what I especially don’t like is knowing that I’ll eventually have to watch at least a portion of it again, because the only things I really cared for in this stylized noir were the scenes with Eva Green, and after waking from my brief and unanticipated nap, she was gone from the movie and never returned. What the hell happened to her? And if I was enjoying Green’s performance as much as I thought I was, why did I fall asleep in the first place?

 
They’re Getting Too Old for This S--- : "The Expendables" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Sunday, 17 August 2014 11:22

Sylvester Stallone in The Expendables 3THE EXPENDABLES 3

To date, Sylvester Stallone has played Rocky Balboa on-screen six times, John Rambo four times, and, with the release of The Expendables 3, Barney Ross three times. According to the Internet Movie Database, Rambo V, with Stallone writing and starring, is currently in pre-production, and Rocky is set to return in a new feature titled Creed. In other words, Sylvester Stallone is the very last man you’d want handling the remains of your beloved dead horse.

 
Limp Woody: "Magic in the Moonlight," "The Giver," and "Let’s Be Cops" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Sunday, 17 August 2014 11:16

Emma Stone and Colin Firth in Magic in the MoonlightMAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

It would be wonderful to say that Woody Allen’s Magic in the Moonlight, the lighthearted tale of a stuffy British magician (Colin Firth) who attempts to disprove the gifts of a convincing psychic (Emma Stone) in 1928 Paris, was a throwback to the auteur’s oft-referenced early, funny movies – the ones, such as Sleeper and Love & Death, that we fans enjoy returning to again and again. (In the case of Love & Death, for me, “again and again” multiplied by about 20.) Unfortunately, it’s more of a throwback to the writer/director’s less-referenced early-autumnal period, and its not-so-funny movies – the ones, such as The Curse of the Jade Scorpion and Hollywood Ending, that even we die-hards didn’t really care about the first time around.

 
Time Flies: "Boyhood" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Monday, 11 August 2014 13:29

Ellar Coltrane in BoyhoodBOYHOOD

Late in writer/director Richard Linklater’s Boyhood – the finest movie yet by the creator of Dazed & Confused and the Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight trilogy – there’s a simple scene between a mother and her son. The son, who is either nearing or has just turned 18, is heading to college and is packing a bag in his room; he and his mom talk while she pays bills in the kitchen. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the mother starts weeping. Her son enters the room and nonchalantly asks what’s wrong (this is hardly the first time he’s seen her cry), and she replies with a litany of romantic, professional, locational, and maternal decisions that we’ve watched her make over the course of the film. She asks where all that time went. Her son, offering a slight smile of empathy, goes back to his room and continues packing. The mother buries her face in her hands, and says, “I just thought there would be more.”

 
Brain, Brain, Go Away: "The Hundred-Foot Journey," "Into the Storm," "Step Up: All in," and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" PDF Print E-mail
Movies - Reviews
Written by Mike Schulz   
Sunday, 10 August 2014 18:51

Om Puri, Manish Dayal, and Helen Mirren in The Hundred-Foot JourneyFriday, August 8, 10 a.m.-ish: I’m at The Hundred-Foot Journey, and five minutes into this lighthearted foodie dramedy, I’m already regretting my decision to only have yogurt for breakfast. With director Lasse Hallström’s camera slavering over the creation of steaming, succulent pots and grills of Indian cuisine, all of it enhanced by spices and oils whose aromas are practically wafting off the screen, this is not the movie to see if you’re hungry. Considering screenwriter Steven Knight’s T-shirt-ready dialogue – which features such pithy bromides as “Life has its own flavor,” “We cook to make ghosts,” and the grammatically vexing “Food is memories” – it’s not really the movie to see if your brain is hungry, either.

 
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