THIS MEANS WAR

The latest instantly disposable, cinematic-junk-food entertainment by Charlie’s Angels and Terminator Salvation director McG is the romantic-comedy action thriller This Means War, and it should be said that the first half of the movie isn’t bad. It’s closer to excruciating.

THE VOW

Even though I’m frequently annoyed, if not downright appalled, by them, I really don’t ask a lot from traditional romantic weepies. If the actors involved share more-than-sufficient chemistry, and the film provides at least a decent amount of legitimate passion and pathos – with a few good jokes thrown in to keep the proceedings human – I’ll generally feel that I’ve gotten my money’s worth. And happily, I got my money’s worth at The Vow. I’d hardly argue that director Michael Sucsy’s love-among-the-mental-ruins effort is a good movie, but despite never being as interesting as it keeps threatening to be, this audience-friendly drama fulfills its basic requirements with the utmost sincerity and even something approaching wit.

CHRONICLE

Part superhero (and -villain) origin fable and part teen-angst melodrama, Chronicle concerns three high-schoolers who venture down a mysterious hole in the Earth and emerge with telekinetic powers, and the best thing about the movie is that its leads subsequently behave just as high-schoolers likely would in such a situation.

THE GREY

Whenever I watch a movie such as Alive or The Thing or director Joe Carnahan’s The Grey – especially in January – I ask myself the same question: Is it worth it? I know about cinematic sleight-of-hand, of course, and that the performers and crew aren’t enduring anywhere near the nightmarish conditions suffered by the characters on-screen. I also presume that a fat Hollywood paycheck instantly makes any location shooting, including The Grey’s outdoor shoot in wintry British Columbia, a lot more bearable. But still, all that ice and wind and trudging through thigh-deep snow ... . Is any movie experience worth spending three months in fear of losing your digits to frostbite?

THE ARTIST

In the spirit of Michel Hazanavicius’ extraordinary silent-film celebration The Artist, I considered offering a review that, likewise, didn’t offer much in the way of verbal language – just a smiley-face emoticon in the biggest font possible. And after two viewings (so far) of this intimate yet grandly ambitious comedy, I’m still not sure that a review filled with actual words will offer a more thorough expression of the rapturous pleasure it fills me with; upon leaving Hazanavicius’ exhilarating experiment in black and white, both times, I haven’t felt the urge to talk about it so much as sit back and reflect on it with a huge grin plastered to my face.