items tagged with concert movies

JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER

Leave it to that great Socratic thinker Ozzy Osbourne, in a recent TV commercial, to ask the question that’s been on many a middle-aged mind of late: “What’s a Bieber?”

JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3D CONCERT EXPERIENCE

(With apologies to my godchild Jordan, who is surely the most rabid Jonas Brothers fan I've yet met. Sorry, sweetie. Just remember that I'm a bitter, cranky old man.)

THE RUINS

I caught The Ruins during a minimally populated Saturday-afternoon screening, so I pray that a larger, rowdier audience laughed like mad when our surgeon-to-be hero (the hilariously stalwart Jonathan Tucker) surmised the deadly situation he and his friends were in and barked, with absolute earnestness, "Four Americans on vacation don't just disappear!"

That poor, dumb kid. Never saw a horror movie.

FOOL'S GOLD

At one point during Fool's Gold's opening sequence, Matthew McConaughey's fortune-hunting hero is seen slo-o-owly hopping along the ocean floor, and for the next 110 minutes, the whole movie seems to be moving at the exact same speed. I understand that director Andy Tennant's (supposed) comic adventure isn't meant to be anything more than a featherweight romantic diversion - an excuse to watch the perfectly tanned McConaughey and Kate Hudson swap barbs while being photographed against intoxicatingly pretty Key West locales - and many in the audience appear content to accept it as such. But, good God, aren't these viewers at all bothered by how mind-numbingly lethargic the pacing is?

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

As much as I adored Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood - and I adored nearly every second of its 150-minute running length - it's the type of movie that I hate composing a review for, because no matter what I write, I know it won't come close to doing the achievement justice.