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items tagged with Jessica Alba

The King, and More Royal Subjects: "The Identical," "Locke," "Only Lovers Left Alive," "The Normal Heart," and "The Spoils of Babylon"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2014-09-08 14:51:10

Blake Rayne, Ashley Judd, and Ray Liotta in The IdenticalDirector Dustin Marcellino’s The Identical is for anyone who ever wanted to see a fictionalized account of the birth of the Elvis-impersonator movement. Or anyone who’d enjoy Presley’s songs more if their melodies weren’t so complex and their lyrics weren’t so depraved. Or anyone who’s been yearning to see Ray Liotta play a devout evangelist who explains to his congregation why he just lit eight candles on a menorah, when, as we can see, he clearly lit nine.


Read More About The King, And More Royal Subjects: "The Identical," "Locke," "Only Lovers Left Alive," "The Normal Heart," And "The Spoils Of Babylon"...


Noir Is the Dullest Color: "Sin City: A Dame to Kill for" and "Island of Lemurs: Madagascar"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2014-08-24 22:48:25

Eva Green in Sin City: A Dame to Kill forSIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

Let’s cut to the chase: I don’t like Sin City: A Dame to Kill for. But what I especially don’t like is knowing that I’ll eventually have to watch at least a portion of it again, because the only things I really cared for in this stylized noir were the scenes with Eva Green, and after waking from my brief and unanticipated nap, she was gone from the movie and never returned. What the hell happened to her? And if I was enjoying Green’s performance as much as I thought I was, why did I fall asleep in the first place?


Read More About Noir Is The Dullest Color: "Sin City: A Dame To Kill For" And "Island Of Lemurs: Madagascar"...


The Agony of the Ecstasy: "Snitch" and "Escape from Planet Earth"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2013-02-24 17:48:56

Barry Pepper, Susan Sarandon, and Dwayne Johnson in SnitchSNITCH

As a film star, Dwayne Johnson possesses a lot of gifts – or, at least, sufficiently impressive gifts for what his résumé has required. Though God knows he’s physically intimidating, Johnson is also our most thoroughly genial of ass-kickers, with even his most violent of big-screen endeavors leavened by a welcome lightness of touch and hint of amused self-mockery. And as he has proved in all those bland family entertainments over the years, Johnson still manages to appear game and committed in movies that don’t deserve his considerable charisma, often salvaging entire scenes through unexpectedly silly gestures or readings that show just how inventive a comedian he can be. (I was happy for 10 whole minutes following his brief channeling of co-star Michael Caine in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. They were about the only 10 minutes during the movie in which I was happy.)


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Sparks, and No Sparks: "Dear John," "Valentine's Day," and "The Wolfman"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2010-02-15 15:32:07

Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried in Dear JohnDEAR JOHN

Since no one's been pressing a gun to my head, I haven't read Nicholas Sparks' Dear John, which concerns a pair of star-crossed lovers whose romance is derailed by the young man's Army tenure. I have, however, seen director Lasse Hallström's screen version, which apparently follows the novel's blueprint faithfully (albeit with an altered ending), so permit me a question: Does Sparks have absolutely no shame?


Read More About Sparks, And No Sparks: "Dear John," "Valentine's Day," And "The Wolfman"...


86ed: "Get Smart" and "The Love Guru"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2008-06-25 08:18:23

Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell in Get SmartGET SMART

I can only imagine the business conversation that led to remaking TV's Get Smart as a big-budget summertime blockbuster. But I'm guessing it went something like this: "Let's remake TV's Get Smart as a big-budget summertime blockbuster!" "Okay! Let's!"


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