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items tagged with Nick Swardson

Mime on Wire: "The Walk," "Tiny Giants 3D," and "Hell & Back"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2015-10-03 21:55:47

Joseph Gordon-Levitt in The WalkTHE WALK

There have been verified reports of patrons vomiting during the last half hour of The Walk, director Robert Zemeckis’ big-budget take on Philippe Petit’s famed 1974 high-wire trek between Manhattan’s Twin Towers, a tale previously recounted in James Marsh’s Oscar-winning documentary Man on Wire. The response of those patrons is understandable; as a lifelong sufferer of vertigo – especially when those vertiginous heights are around 1,368 feet above street level – I did have to look at the cineplex floor a few times to steady my nerves. But in the end, my senses of profound terror, anxiety, and euphoria at Zemeckis’ cinematic feat proved worth the discomfort. I only wish I could say the same for the movie’s first 90 minutes, which could easily provoke vomiting among those, like myself, who gag at the mere thought of revisiting Amélie.
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Unhappy Madison: "Grown Ups 2" and "Pacific Rim"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2013-07-14 17:59:45

Kevin James, Adam Sandler, and Chris Rock in Grown Ups 2GROWN UPS 2

I’m presuming that you’re reading this while seated. But just in case you aren’t, you might want to grab the nearest chair, because in Grown Ups 2, the strongest, funniest, and damn near only performance in the movie is given by Taylor Lautner.

Yes. Taylor Lautner.

And the apocalypse just got a little bit closer.


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The Needle in the Haystack: "Zero Dark Thirty," "Gangster Squad," "A Haunted House," and "Hitchcock"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2013-01-14 18:45:03

Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark ThirtyZERO DARK THIRTY

As an orchestrator of cinematic suspense, Kathryn Bigelow might currently be without peer in American movies. The sequences of Jeremy Renner dismantling explosives in the director’s Oscar-winning The Hurt Locker were miniature masterpieces of sustained excitement; despite our knowing, through much of the film, that it was too early for Renner’s Sergeant William James to be killed off, each masterfully shot and edited act of bomb disposal vibrated with legitimate threat. In Zero Dark Thirty – Bigelow’s and screenwriter Mark Boal’s fictionalized docu-drama about the decade-long search for Osama bin Laden – nearly every scene feels like a ticking time bomb. There is, of course, never any doubt about the narrative’s outcome, yet Bigelow’s gifts for composition and pacing ensure that you still watch the picture with rapt attention and dread. And blessedly, she’s also a spectacular entertainer. The movie is tough-minded and sometimes tough to watch, but even when Bigelow is fraying your nerves, she’s tickling your senses.


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Father No-Nos Best: "That's My Boy" and "Rock of Ages"
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2012-06-17 18:49:36

Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler in That's My BoyTHAT’S MY BOY

Lord knows I don’t want to encourage him, but if Adam Sandler absolutely must continue to star in comedies released under his Happy Madison Productions banner, could the rest of them at least have the good sense, and bad taste, to be rated R?


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Fate Accompli: “Final Destination 5” and “30 Minutes or Less”
Written By: Mike Schulz
Section: Movies

Category: Reviews

2011-08-14 18:12:15

Nicholas D'Agosto and Emma Bell in Final Destination 5FINAL DESTINATION 5

Because the quality has been noticeably, if not altogether damagingly, dipping with each new installment, there was reason to expect Final Destination 5 to be the horror series’ most tired and underwhelming entry to date. Yet like some long-running TV series that suddenly finds new life after years of going through the motions, this fifth in the popular Death-has-been-cheated-and-he’s-pissed franchise is a terrific return to sick-joke form, the most enticingly queasy and legitimately funny Final Destination since the second outing in 2003.


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