21 Dec 2014

Unclean and Sober: "Top Five," "Wild," and "Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb"

By Mike Schulz

Rosario Dawson and Chris Rock in Top FiveTOP FIVE

Chris Rock is on-record as being a fan of Woody Allen movies and Richard Linklater's Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight trilogy, and the comedian's funny and thoughtful Top Five - Rock's first film as a writer/director since 2007's I Think I Love My Wife - is like a 100-minute blend of those influences. Then again, Allen, and certainly Linklater, would be much less likely to cap a scene with the image of a naked man getting a Tabasco-soaked tampon shoved up his ass.

26 Jul 2014

And a Little Cub Will Lead Them - Notes on Yet Another Quadruple Feature: "Pandas: The Journey Home," "Hercules," "And So It Goes," and "Lucy"

By Mike Schulz

Pandas: The Journey HomeFriday, July 25, 12:30 p.m.-ish: I take my seat for the latest big-screen edu-tainment at the Putnam Museum, and can't imagine a better way to begin my third quadruple feature of the month. For one thing, the movie I'm at is only 40 minutes long, which will shorten my work day considerably. For another, the movie is all about pandas. Pandas! Who doesn't love pandas? I figure that, at worst, the National Geographic presentation Pandas: The Journey Home will be adorable. So I'll admit to some more-than-mild surprise when, not 10 minutes into the film, we're treated to the (tasteful) sight of a female panda being artificially inseminated, right after witnessing the (tasteful) sight of a male panda mating with her. Hmmm, I think. Didn't see that in Disney's Bears.

01 Jun 2014

Horns Aplenty: "Maleficent" and "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

By Mike Schulz

Angelina Jolie in MaleficentMALEFICENT

Disney's Maleficent is director Robert Stromberg's re-imagined fairy tale told from the perspective of, and with much empathy for, the sorceress who put the "Sleeping" in Sleeping Beauty. If this is the beginning of a trend - one in which the studio, in effect, remakes its animated classics so that their evil villains are no longer evil or villainous - I can't wait to see what's in store for us next. A baby Scar who seeks vindication after other lion cubs make fun of his unfortunate birthmark? A young, svelte Ursula the Sea Witch driven to malice and gluttony when her sister is turned into caviar?

15 Sep 2013

Mob Mentality: "The Family" and "Insidious: Chapter 2"

By Mike Schulz

Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer in The FamilyTHE FAMILY

Robert De Niro fans will likely want to catch director Luc Besson's The Family, as it showcases one of the actor's finest, most alert leading performances in years. Michelle Pfeiffer fans (and I'm a huge one) will definitely want to catch this new gangster comedy, as it gives the eternally radiant performer the closest she's had to a fully fleshed-out character in over a decade, and Pfeiffer - returning to her mob-wife roots of the Scarface and Married to the Mob era - plays the role spectacularly well.

Yet there's one demographic for whom The Family should be absolutely must-see viewing: anti-Francophiles. Though it has its problems, several of them major ones, I'm betting that most of its viewers will enjoy the film. But if you're the sort who's prone to make hostile remarks about the French with little or no provocation, or have ever referenced "freedom fries" completely without irony, this is, without question, the movie for you, which makes this latest effort by Parisian filmmaker Besson not just cheeky but downright subversive.

28 Apr 2013

Meatheads: "Pain & Gain" and "The Big Wedding"

By Mike Schulz

Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg, and Anthony Mackie in Pain & GainPAIN & GAIN

In Pain & Gain, the witty, savvy, almost perfectly pitched new release by Michael Bay, Mark Wahlberg plays a dimwitted personal trainer who decides he'd rather steal than pursue the American dream, and - .

Yes, I just used "witty," "savvy," and "almost perfectly pitched" to describe a Michael Bay movie. Trust me, you're not as shocked as I am.

17 Jun 2012

Father No-Nos Best: "That's My Boy" and "Rock of Ages"

By Mike Schulz

Andy Samberg and Adam Sandler in That's My BoyTHAT'S MY BOY

Lord knows I don't want to encourage him, but if Adam Sandler absolutely must continue to star in comedies released under his Happy Madison Productions banner, could the rest of them at least have the good sense, and bad taste, to be rated R?

14 Nov 2010

Good "Morning"'s Stars Shine: "Morning Glory," "Skyline," and "Unstoppable"

By Mike Schulz

Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton, and Harrison Ford in Morning GloryMORNING GLORY

The vibrant, frequently ebullient Diane Keaton and the gruff, frequently grouchy Harrison Ford have been above-the-title Hollywood stars for more than 30 years now. Why, in heaven's name, has it taken more than three decades to get these two cute kids together?

24 May 2000

Small-Time Winners and a Mighty Mistake: "Small Time Crooks," "Center Stage," and "Dinosaur"

By Mike Schulz

Woody Allen and Elaine May in Small Time CrooksSMALL TIME CROOKS

Woody Allen's latest offering is such a light and enjoyable work that it's bound to be underrated, to be seen as a throwback to the "early, funny" movies that Woody fans hold such a fondness for. And yes, it has some of the go-for-broke spirit that energized movies like Sleeper and Bananas, and some of the same slapstick silliness, too.

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