Bradley Cooper, Zach Gailianakis, and Ed Helms in The Hangover Part IIITHE HANGOVER PART III

Not long into The Hangover Part III, our mishap-prone heroes portrayed by Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis are seen sipping beers at a karaoke bar, discussing the best way to handle their latest mess initiated by Ken Jeong's eccentric gangster/eternal thorn-in-the-side Mr. Chow. Though this might constitute a minor spoiler, the casual drinks consumed in this scene are, to my recollection, the only drinks - indeed, the only judgment-impairing substances of any kind - consumed in the entire movie. That makes director Todd Phillips' outing a Hangover without hangovers. In the end, it's also a Hangover without The Hangover.

Nicholas Hoult in Jack the Giant SlayerJACK THE GIANT SLAYER

It happened to Hansel and Gretel. It happened to Red Riding Hood. It happened to Snow White. (It happened to a couple of Snow Whites, actually.) And now it's Jack, of "... and the beanstalk" fame, who's getting a pricey, kitschy, effects-filled makeover, serving as protagonist for director Bryan Singer's Jack the Giant Slayer. At the rate this trend is going, I can hardly wait for the inevitable big-budget updating of The Pied Piper with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Marion Cotillard, and Harvey Fierstein taking on the role of a lifetime in The Frog King.

Jonathan Daniel Brown, Oliver Cooper, and Thomas Mann in Project XPROJECT X

In director Nima Nourizadeh's teen comedy Project X, three nerdy high-school pals in North Pasadena decide to make names for themselves by throwing a wild party, and then throw the party.

Now that we've dispensed with the plot, let me try to explain why, through almost its entire running length, this movie made me want to repeatedly plunge an ice pick through my skull.

Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bartha, and Ed Helms in The Hangover Part IITHE HANGOVER PART II

Todd Phillips' The Hangover Part II is the sequel to the director's box-office smash from the summer of 2009, and it's just like the original.

Let me re-punctuate that: It is just. Like. The original.

 

Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms in The HangoverTHE HANGOVER

Imagine yourself at a wild, debaucherous, shameful-good-time party, one at which you imbibe copious amounts of booze and laugh all night, yet one that you get to enjoy with no subsequent hangover. That's The Hangover.