"Gretchen was a true individual who has the ability to relate to anyone in so many ways. Her honesty arose from the look in her eyes, humbleness from recognizing her own imperfections, and the love for life as she laughed from her innermost soul. Most of all it was fairness that defined Gretchen as being above the rest.

"Times like this, deep in sorrow, shall in no way diminish the honor and pride that is worthy of Gretchen. Her years were short yet her impression will last throughout all the lifetimes of everyone she knew. Do not ever let your mind consider that she will be forgotten in all of our hearts.

"As a family you mourn Gretchen yet stand together proud for what she was, what she stood for, and what she believed in. Remember that the core of her being, the strength of her security, and the honesty of her soul was a reflection of her love for all of you and all of your love for her. While Gretchen is no longer with us, she does and will forever surround us all. We shall think of her and miss her, but most of all we will love Gretchen, not for the loss that we must now endure but for the life that made all of ours that much better."

This is taken from a lovely letter written to my family by a co-worker, Matt Sage, of my beautiful sister Gretchen Kathleen McCarthy, who was tragically taken from us in a car accident in Vero Beach, Florida, on March 12. These words briefly capture Gretchen's nature and celebrate the love we all shared.

Gretchen was our Grandmother's namesake, and in keeping with the spirit of that, she was a bundle of light, laughter, and irrepressible humor. Riotously witty, she unleashed her clever humor and playfulness to the delight of all who knew her. She was always hilarious, fun to be with, and more full of life than most 30-year-olds I know.

Gretchen was also more loving and loyal than most. My father put it best: "I never had to ask Gretchen for anything. She instinctively anticipated things and did them without having to be asked." The recurring theme during all the gatherings of family and friends was Gretchen's giving nature. Countless stories were told about some incredibly kind, compassionate, and caring effort Gretchen made on someone's behalf that made a difference. I realized during those occasions just how much of a difference she did make. The fabric of our family is one of magnificent and diverse color and texture. Gretchen is a large part of its vibrancy, so things seem lackluster and faded now that she is gone. It is impossible to bear.

Everyone who knew Gretchen would agree that her family and close friends were her life. Fierce loyalty and unconditional love and acceptance defined Gretchen. She wasn't judgmental, instead making people feel instantly welcome and at-ease. This magnanimity contributed to her success in the financial-services industry, and in building a successful family business with our father and siblings. More importantly, she kept things real in our family, not allowing pretension in any form. Mostly we laughed, a lot at ourselves, even more at each other. But every hysterical moment was full of love and understanding of each other as treasures.

Humor has always been the foundation of our family's ability to communicate, to thrive both individually and collectively. From my grandparents to my nephews, humor sustains us. Gretchen was so fully a personification of this family characteristic, something she particularly shared with our father. They had a profoundly special relationship, one that was born from a father's sensitive understanding of his child's need for love and acceptance, and from a daughter's instinctive comprehension of her father's need to provide love and security, and to also be loved and accepted. From the time that Gretchen was little, she expressed vulnerability and trust, a combination that stole my father's heart and committed him to her well-being. The beauty of it is that his relationship with Gretchen has helped make my dad a spectacular father to all of us.

Gretchen was only 30 years old, a babe and gorgeous by every standard. She was a lover of the sun and surf, living on the ocean in Melbourne, Florida. She enjoyed golfing with my dad every week, worked hard at her job, and had many, many friends who loved her dearly. She was the consummate aunt, taking complete joy in her small nephews, Carson and Patrick. She adored us, her sisters and brother, and "ditto" is all I can say. There is no getting over this loss; learning to live with it is the greatest challenge my family has ever faced. But our family will cleave to one another, and somehow grow stronger with the knowledge that Gretchen is ours forever. So until we meet again, I am certain both Gretchens are orchestrating a very comprehensive spying operation.

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