10 Jun 2003

Skip "Furious" and Take a "Wrong Turn": "2 Fast 2 Furious," "Wrong Turn," "The Guru," and "Love Liza"

By Mike Schulz

Paul Walker and Tyrese Gibson in 2 Fast 2 Furious2 FAST 2 FURIOUS

How did this happen? How, in a summer chockablock with megahit wannabes of all sorts, did the major studios agree to get out of Universal's way and allow 2 Fast 2 Furious to be the only new release of the June 6 weekend? Are the powers-that-be at Universal holding compromising photos involving the rival studio heads? Are they holding their pets hostage? Why, for the love of God, are Universal's competitors letting this terrible movie become a hit? Granted, the opening five minutes are fun, and there's a squirmy torture scene involving a rat attempting to burrow through a man's stomach.

11 Feb 2003

"Antwone Fisher" Wins - as the Most Overrated Movie of 2002: Also, "Biker Boyz" and "Real Women Have Curves"

By Mike Schulz

Derek Luke and Denzel Washington in Antwone FisherANTWONE FISHER

It's a bit late, but it finally arrived. The closing of each year brings with it at least one touching, inspirational, triumph-of-the-human-spirit movie designed to make audiences weep and Oscar voters genuflect, while certain Midwestern film critics roll their eyes and wish they could throw things at the screen. (Previous examples: I Am Sam, The Hurricane, and Shine.) For a while, it looked like 2002's might be About Schmidt, but the film barely qualified; it wasn't incompetently made, and it did provide a few laughs. At last, though, we have a winner.

13 Aug 2002

A Late-Summer Bumper Crop of Crap: "XXX," "Blood Work," "Martin Lawrence's Runteldat," and "Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams"

By Mike Schulz

Asia Argento and Vin Diesel in XXXXXX

Put simply, Vin Diesel's action thriller XXX, directed by The Fast and the Furious helmer, Rob Cohen, succeeds competently at its intentions, which are to make a loud, ass-kicking, summertime blockbuster and kickstart a new, James-Bond-playing-extreme-sports movie franchise.

26 Jun 2001

Movie Makes "Mindless Action Spectacle" a Compliment: "The Fast & the Furious" and "Dr. Dolittle 2"

By Mike Schulz

Vin Diesel and Paul Walker in The Fast & the FuriousTHE FAST & THE FURIOUS

In The Fast & The Furious, that stolid, basso profundo actor Vin Diesel is forced into a close friendship with the blond, pretty, incredibly bland Paul Walker, so you know immediately that you're in make-believe territory once again.

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