Keen-eyed observers of the Mad Scientist wing of the American military research complex have noted that the Pentagon is at it again.

The folks at the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship & Immigration Services have devised a new citizenship test for those few illegal immigrants who, for some unknown reason, are actually trying to become lawful citizens. The new questions, the bureau claims, are calculated to better measure how well newbies understand what it means to be an American rather than how well they can memorize answers.

Peter Pitts Imagine that you are an inventor and the government steals your highly lucrative idea, without any warning. The next day, you are informed that the government plans to mass-produce your invention and give it away for free.

This is what happens, with increasing regularity, to the manufacturers of life-saving medicines. And self-appointed public-health activists the world over are urging other governments to follow suit.

"Our country is insolvent, and bankruptcy will come."

- U.S. Representative Ron Paul

 

I've never seen our country in worse shape - culturally, constitutionally, or financially. Marriages and families are falling apart, our liberties are being eroded, and the U.S. economy is in serious trouble. We are, as author Robert B. Reich noted in a recent New York Times editorial, "totally spent." All we're managing to do now is keep our creditors at bay.

You're listening to WIMP radio, 9.11 on your dial, the All Threat All the Time station where our programming format aims to keep everyone in a perpetual state of fear. So stay in bed and pull the covers up over your heads.

Here are the most important Threat Levels for today:

While some people don't believe in evolution at any speed, other people, such as the scientific types at the National Academy of Sciences, claim that human evolution is speeding up.

It's been almost 10 years since the House of Representatives voted to impeach Bill Clinton for lying under oath when asked during a deposition in the Paula Jones case whether he had had sexual relations with a White House intern.

In what must be one of the few fun-filled functions in the otherwise beastly boring lives of bureaucrats, undercover operatives try to sneak weaponry through airport checkpoints to test how good Transportation Security Administration screeners are at finding guns, bombs, and knives.

There has been vigorous debate about whether the U.S. Senate should ratify the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS, also known as the Law of the Sea Treaty, or LOST by its critics). The treaty has a wide-range of supporters in the United States. These reportedly include elements within the Pentagon who believe that UNCLOS would prevent foreign states from adopting arbitrary policies that interrupt normal naval operations. A primary objection of opponents is that UNCLOS would establish a dangerous precedent by authorizing the U.N.'s International Seabed Authority to collect taxes.

Ed was just minding his own business. According to an article in the News & Advance of Lynchburg, Virginia, Ed wasn't harming anyone, or threatening to harm anyone, or defrauding anyone.

But that didn't stop the state of Virginia from charging Ed with misdemeanors and felonies and booking him into the crowbar motel sans bail.

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