"And don't forget: John Smith is also a Mason, an Elk, a Moose, a Knight of Columbus, a Lion, a Kiwanis, an Optimist, a Jaycee, and a Raccoon.
"John Smith is also a veteran. Honorably discharged from the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, and the Marine Corps, he's now serving his country as a member of the Coast Guard reserve.
"Where does John Smith stand on the issues? Exactly where you do. He believes we need to get guns off the streets and into the hands of people who know how to use them to defend their Second Amendment right to shoot people who are walking around the streets with guns.
"John Smith will be tough on crime. He won't coddle criminals, let them go free, or put them in jail where taxpayers like you have to foot the bill while they watch cable television all day long - on channels you don't even get.
"John Smith will increase the penalties for those who sell drugs to schoolchildren, and the penalties for schoolchildren who sell drugs to undercover police officers. And that's a promise. John Smith is pro-life, and he's pro-choice. And that means he supports a woman's right to choose to obey the law, whatever that happens to be. And he'll make sure no one takes that right away. Ever.
"John Smith will cut taxes and increase revenue by saying no to pork-barrel projects supported by the special interests - and by bringing the kind of people into government who aren't afraid to fire the people who are already there.
"What kind of man is John Smith? A family man - a father, a son, an uncle, and a cousin. A self-made businessman who got up before dawn to deliver newspapers and shine shoes, then founded a minority-owned firm that gives jobs to people with disabilities while returning its profits to the community by supporting medical research into the diseases you and your family are most likely to catch. Now, and in the future.
"John Smith believes in education, economic prosperity, and personal hygiene. He'll listen to the problems of senior citizens, even when they talk too slow or forget where they were. He'll even ask young people what they think - and he'll pretend to listen to their answers. John Smith will fight to protect the rights of all races, creeds, colors, preferences, orientations, lifestyles, core beliefs, value systems, and income brackets - even the ones that, like you, he personally disagrees with."
JOHN SMITH: "Hello, I'm John Smith. And as I travel across the great (country) (state) (city) (county) (other land mass) of ours, people tell me they're sick and tired. Some people are sick, and some people are tired. But one thing they all agree on: They don't want politicians making things worse."
ANNOUNCER: "That's why John Smith is more than just a politician. John Smith is a name you can trust ... a name you can depend on ... a name you can remember.
"Paid for by John Smith for Office. Leonidas Jaruszelski, treasurer."
Copyright 2002 Newrite, Inc. All rights reserved. GLW's on WGN Radio 720. E-mail and listen at (http://www.wgnradio.com).