Billy Crystal and Robert De Niro in Analyze ThatANALYZE THAT and EMPIRE

It's enough to make a grown movie-critic weep: You rave about Solaris, a science-fiction work that's psychologically rich, challenging, and incredibly unusual, and you read in the paper that the audience-tracking firm Cinemascore has ranked it the most universally loathed major release in 20 years. You check out the top-10 list from the National Board of Review, the first organization to hand out year-end kudos, and realize that only one of those 10 films has (as yet) made it to the Quad Cities, and that one only stayed for a week at Moline's Nova 6 Cinemas. And you eagerly look forward to a December weekend of new releases - surely some of those terrific-looking titles will finally appear? - and your only options are Analyze That and Empire.

George Clooney in SolarisSOLARIS

In the interest of full journalistic disclosure, let me preface this review of Steven Soderbergh's Solaris by admitting that, in the first 15 minutes, I briefly nodded off.

Halle Berry and Pierce Brosnan in Die Another DayDIE ANOTHER DAY

In lieu of trying to detail the plot of the latest James Bond vehicle, Die Another Day - really, does it matter? - let me instead run a short list of what makes Lee Tamahori's outing my favorite Bond flick in, I dunno, at least 20 years:

Bonnie Wright and Daniel Radcliffe in Harry Potter & the Chamber of SecretsHARRY POTTER & THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS

Although I didn't care for last year's Harry Potter & The Sorcerer's Stone, I was more than willing to greet the new Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets with an open mind.

Eminem in 8 Mile8 MILE

8 Mile is the most artistically successful crowd-pleaser the movies have given us in ages, a hip-hop Rocky that, incredibly, refuses to pander.

Before our cineplexes, and this column, become completely inundated with family-oriented holiday fare such as Treasure Planet, the latest Harry Potter, and The Santa Clause 2 (which is already in release ... how is it that holiday movies, like Christmas decorations at the mall, now routinely arrive the day after Halloween?), let's take a brief look at some of autumn's more adult works, a couple of which - unsurprisingly - have already left a theatre near you.

Emily Watson and Adam Sandler in Punch-Drunk LovePUNCH-DRUNK LOVE

Punch-Drunk Love is exactly what its writer-director, Paul Thomas Anderson, claims it to be - "an art-house Adam Sandler movie" - yet I can't be alone in thinking: What's the point of that? Is Anderson merely trying to show up the hacks who've directed Sandler in other films? (Again: What's the point?) All throughout, the movie is beautifully filmed, exquisitely composed, and filled with Anderson's uncanny knack for stretching a scene out longer than it should humanly run and making you hang on every delirious second of it.

David Dorfman and Naomi Watts in The RingTHE RING

Since she previously gave one of my all-time favorite film performances in Mulholland Dr., one of my all-time favorite films, it's going to take a lot more than a cheesy little scare flick for me to write off Naomi Watts. But it must be said that in The Ring - a horror movie by Gore Verbinski, with a script by Arlington Road's Ehren Kruger - Ms. Watts comes off as a very poor actress indeed.

Ian Somerhalder in The Rules of AttractionTHE RULES OF ATTRACTION

Roger Avary's The Rules of Attraction, based on yet another Bret Easton Ellis (Less Than Zero, American Psycho) novel about soulless, loathsome yuppie scumbags of the '80s, is vile, venal, and sometimes shockingly distasteful. I loved it.

Edward Norton and Anthony Hopkins in Red DragonRED DRAGON

Red Dragon is an entertaining, admirable adaptation of Thomas Harris' suspense novel, which was the world's introduction to everyone's favorite fictional serial killer, Hannibal Lecter.

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