You are cordially invited, in fact highly encouraged if not guilt tripped to attend an open house and art sale at Leslie Bell's studio the first weekend of December. After 38 years in the St. Ambrose University Art Department (he's never gone home; not even once) the aforementioned Mr. Bell is retiring from fulltime teaching (to part time), hoping that his money doesn't run out before he goes to heaven. He's also desirous of getting rid of some pretty awesome art because he's been told time and time again, "You can't take it with you". And anyway, he's against renting a U-haul.

Have you always wanted to buy a painting, drawing, photograph, lithograph, intaglio, Xerox, thumbprint, used car or choice piece of beachfront property from Professor Bell? You're in luck. There will be hundreds and hundreds and several more hundreds of just such  things stacked and leaning about, waiting for you to snatch them up at record-low prices. He will not be driving his funny car nor will there be a radio DJ yelling at you in a politically incorrect manner about his mental health. The sales, however, will be insane by all accounts and since the artist himself is writing this diatribe, all accounts are coming straight from the horse's mouth.

OK. The particulars:

WHERE:  Studio House aka Les's studio?1918 Gaines Street, Davenport Iowa: the first livable structure north of Locust Street, west side of Gaines Street. There's a big parking lot at Locust and Gaines by the way. 50' from the front door! Call 563-639-4555 if you need more incentive to attend.

WHEN:  Thursday - December 1: 4?6 p.m.
              Friday - December 2: 4?6 p.m.
              Saturday - December 3: 1?3 p.m.

HOW:  If you're coming in from Illinois?Govt. bridge north to 1918 Gaines. If you're from outer space, it's the third stone from the sun. Follow the Mississippi River up from the Gulf of Mexico and stop when you see all the cars and bicycles and people dressed in black, smiling.

WHO:  Anyone brave enough to talk an artist out of a portion of his loot and willing to have a glass of faux Champagne and gawk at the pretty pitchers. And pictures.

WHY:  It's a chance to gain the status only MFA-generated art can bring to a household, dorm room, crash pad or Occupy SAU tent.

ENDING:  See you then and there.

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