One in five girls in the United States is sexually abused each year.  Some do not disclose sexual abuse until they are much older.  These children find themselves in foster care if their parent does not protect them from ongoing harm.  The most common perpetrators are boyfriends, step-parents, and relatives, with 80% of the perpetrators being within the birth family.  Studies have shown that in the aftermath of sexual abuse, 50% of sexually abused girls later become juvenile delinquents, run away, are significantly more aggressive, engage in promiscuous activities when poverty is factored in, engage in drug related activities, can self-mutilate, have uncontrolled outbursts of rage, need to always be in control of situations, and become abusive towards boyfriends, or get into abusive relationships. Sexually abused children and teens also develop eating disorders, and have guilt, shame, anxiety and depression, and poor self-esteem.

So how can we make our girls fight back and become resilient young teens?  How do we protect our young girls and teach them the right ways of coping?

Here are the top five techniques that have worked very successfully in my practice with teen girls (www.thesupportivefosterparent.com):

• Develop Body Boundaries: Sexually abused girls tend to have poor body boundaries. TEACH body space, appropriate distance, hugging from the side, not pushing themselves into others' in the front, and maintaining appropriate distance from males

• Teens and Dating: Sexually abused teens also either get victimized or become aggressive towards their dating partner.  Develop self-worth in young teens, teach them to respect their bodies, teach them about being a woman in this world and be a role model for your teen.  They learn from your actions, not just words.

• Manage Eating Disorders: Eating can be excessive with binging and purging, or refusal to eat at all.  Both forms are ways young girls attempt to control their environment.  This need to control comes from the helplessness and lack of control due to sexual abuse.  Food is a way that a young teen can exert power over adults and cause anxiety in others.  Anorexia and Bulimia are common with these teens.  To develop a healthy sense of control, provide your young teen with healthy foods, give her areas of her life over which she has control and allow her to make decisions about the foods she eats.  Making a fuss about how much she is eating is going to worsen the situation and strengthen the eating disorder instead of reducing it. Rather, make food fun, use humor at dinner and provide her with healthy childhood snacks she loved.  Creating a low tension environment with a relaxed family non-judgmental environment will gradually relax your young teen daughter and she will substitute food with activities that you have introduced her to in which she can exert control and feel empowered.

• Deal with Bouts of Rage: Intense rage reactions are fairly common in children with sexual abuse histories and they can sometimes get violent. Often they are misdiagnosed as being Bipolar and placed on medication to keep them calm.  However, their rage is a primitive reaction to the emotional trauma of sexual abuse and can be explosive.  What works for these teens is trauma therapy and most importantly predictability.  They dislike sudden changes, unpredictable actions, sudden changes in schedules, and power struggles more so than the average teen.  Allowing your teen time to regroup, holding her when she wants you to, and giving her space when she asks for it so that she can bolster her defenses will help her handle stress, get "unstuck" and cope with new situations better.  What will worsen this situation is forcing her to talk to you when she is not ready and forcing her to complete chores and engaging in a power struggle.

• How to Handle Panic Attacks: Bouts of anxiety with fear of choking up, nausea, trembling, fearing that the walls are closing in and that she is going to die are all too common for our sexually abused teen.  Create resilience by identifying the triggers that have caused the anxiety and combat these triggers by pairing them with healthy effective empowering activities. The negative effect of these triggers will disappear over time, and your teen will become resilient and strong.

Successful parenting of your sexually abused female teenager will depend on CONSISTENCY, CALMNESS and CREATIVITY; the three Cs of parenting children with boundary issues.

About Dr. Kalyani Gopal

Dr. Kalyani Gopal is a licensed clinical psychologist with special interests in child sexual abuse assessment and treatment, attachment issues, and foster care assessment, adjustment and training. She serves on the Lake County, Ind., Child Protection and Child Fatality teams, and was the recipient of the Outstanding Service to Lake County award in 2004.

Nova Singers, under the direction of Dr. Laura Lane, presents two performances of Sun & Moon, Sea & Sky, Saturday, February 11 at 7:30 pm, at First Lutheran Church, Galesburg, and Sunday, February 12 at 4:00pm, at St. Paul Lutheran Church, Davenport.

As different as night is from day, so are the selections for this thematic program.  The lush somorities of Eric Whitacre's Nox Aurumque, the poignant sadness of Tormis' Singing Aboard Ship, and the uplifting inspiration of Clausen's In Pace make this a concert that should not be missed!  Additionally, Nova will bring to the audience Szeroka Woda, a set of Polish folk songs, arranged by Górecki, as well as the smooth, soothing sound of Cells Planets, arranged by Vince Peterson.

Artistic Director Dr. Laura Lane is very moved by the stories found in the music, saying, "There are so many powerful stories in this program. In Nox Aurumque, an angel is being forced to go to war and doesn't think she can. In Singing Aboard Ship, women sing as they watch their husbands and sons being taken away to serve on a ship."

Nova Singers will also be joined by local high school singers for our annual Project Sing! performances. The 2012 guests include students from the Macomb High School Concert Choir, directed by Melanie Butcher, performing in the Galesburg concert, and students from the Moline High School Concert Choir, directed by Ron May, performing in the Davenport concert.  Dr. Lane is excited to be working with high school students again.  "The Project Sing students are doing a fantastic job!  I believe this will be one of the best collaborations between high school students and Nova Singers that we've ever done."

Nova Singers, a professional vocal ensemble under the direction of Dr. Laura Lane, delivers this singular program to feed your musical tastes.  Nova Singers is known for bringing a wide variety of choral music to its audiences, and for the beauty and charm the singers impart to their music.  Dr. Lane has been serving the greater Galesburg and Quad-Cities communities since 1986, bringing her passion for music and expressive singing to audiences and singers alike.

Tickets will be available at the door. Admission is $16 for adults and $12 for seniors. Students are admitted free of charge.  For information about group rates, tickets, recordings, or other Nova Singers events, call 309-341-7038, or e-mail nova@knox.edu.  Also, please take the opportunity to visit our Facebook page under the keywords 'Nova Singers.