28 Apr 2013

Meatheads: "Pain & Gain" and "The Big Wedding"

By Mike Schulz

Dwayne Johnson, Mark Wahlberg, and Anthony Mackie in Pain & GainPAIN & GAIN

In Pain & Gain, the witty, savvy, almost perfectly pitched new release by Michael Bay, Mark Wahlberg plays a dimwitted personal trainer who decides he'd rather steal than pursue the American dream, and - .

Yes, I just used "witty," "savvy," and "almost perfectly pitched" to describe a Michael Bay movie. Trust me, you're not as shocked as I am.

01 Apr 2003

Latest King Adaptation an Incoherent Nightmare: "Dreamcatcher," "The Core," "View from the Top," and "Talk to Her"

By Mike Schulz

Morgan Freeman in DreamcatcherDREAMCATCHER

Just how unspeakably bad is the Stephen King adaptation Dreamcatcher? Allow me to present a few examples of opening sentences I was considering for this review:

14 Jun 2000

Typical Cage-iness: "Gone in 60 Seconds"

By Mike Schulz

Robert Duvall and Nicolas Cage in Gone in 60 SecondsGONE IN 60 SECONDS

 

When, exactly, did Nicolas Cage sell his soul to Jerry Bruckheimer? And is it at all possible for him to get it back?

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