24 Aug 2014

Noir Is the Dullest Color: "Sin City: A Dame to Kill for" and "Island of Lemurs: Madagascar"

By Mike Schulz

SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

Let's cut to the chase: I don't like Sin City: A Dame to Kill for. But what I especially don't like is knowing that I'll eventually have to watch at least a portion of it again, because the only things I really cared for in this stylized noir were the scenes with Eva Green, and after waking from my brief and unanticipated nap, she was gone from the movie and never returned. What the hell happened to her? And if I was enjoying Green's performance as much as I thought I was, why did I fall asleep in the first place?

21 Jul 2013

Ghost World: "The Conjuring," "R.I.P.D.," "RED 2," and "Turbo"

By Mike Schulz

THE CONJURING

I was about halfway through my screening of The Conjuring when I noticed that I was having a most unusual reaction to director James Wan's haunted-house opus: For the life of me, I couldn't stop smiling.

01 Apr 2013

Gee, I Didn't Hate "Joe": "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" and "The Host"

By Mike Schulz

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION

If you handed a box of crayons to a group of eight-year-olds with action figures, they'd probably come up with a more entertaining storyline for G.I. Joe: Retaliation than the one we're stuck with, which is your standard blockbuster nonsense about a megalomaniac's plan for world dominion and the crack team of well-armed, quip-ready hotshots attempting to thwart him. In a welcome surprise, though, director Jon M. Chu's follow-up to 2009's G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra is, unlike its forebear, quite a bit of zippy, throwaway fun, a fast-moving and happily unpretentious diversion with jokes, and good ones, obviously written specifically for viewers well over the age of eight.

01 Oct 2012

Time Warped: "Looper," "Pitch Perfect," "Won't Back Down," and "House at the End of the Street"

By Mike Schulz

LOOPER

Rian Johnson's Looper, a time-travel thriller set primarily in the year 2044, casts Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a contract killer whose life is upended with the arrival of his latest target: his older self, who has been transported from the year 2074 and is played by Bruce Willis. This means that, with Gordon-Levitt delivering rather uncanny likenesses of his co-star's traditional scowls and smirks - and with the younger actor's countenance bizarrely altered to resemble the elder actor's familiar face - Willis essentially plays both leading roles ... which isn't the most enticing of setups if, like me, you generally find one Bruce Willis more than enough.

09 Sep 2012

Writer Wrong: "The Words" and "The Cold Light of Day"

By Mike Schulz

THE WORDS

Three separate narratives dovetail in The Words, a modestly engaging morality drama by writers/directors Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal. Yet ironically enough, the one narrative I never bought into was the one that's meant to be the most believable, though heaven knows the other two aren't exactly models of cinematic authenticity.

20 Aug 2012

Old Habits Die Hard: "The Expendables 2," "ParaNorman," and "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"

By Mike Schulz

THE EXPENDABLES 2

If home viewings of The Expendables 2 are one day turned into a drinking game, and I pray that they are, one of the rules has to be that you chug every time the film employs a thudding cliché from the '80s, either directly or indirectly. A plot involving stolen weapons-grade plutonium? Drink! A team of he-men astonished that a new female recruit can actually do something? Drink! Dolph Lundgren wrestling with a Rubik's Cube? Drink twice!

01 Jul 2012

Sunshine Strip: "Magic Mike," "Moonrise Kingdom," "People Like Us," and "Ted"

By Mike Schulz

MAGIC MIKE

Walking into the auditorium for a nearly sold-out, mid-afternoon screening of Magic Mike - "nearly sold-out" and "mid-afternoon" being phrases that rarely go together at the cineplex - I gauged the audience of obviously ecstatic patrons and said to my friend, "This is gonna be fun." Man, we had no idea.

20 Oct 2010

Men Behaving Badly: "Jackass 3D" and "RED"

By Mike Schulz

JACKASS 3D

Well, it finally happened. Having frequently wept with laughter during MTV's Jackass series, 2002's Jackass: The Movie, and 2006's Jackass Number Two, Johnny Knoxville and his incorrigible extreme-stunt companions, in director Jeff Tremaine's Jackass 3D, got me crying for an altogether different reason.

15 Aug 2010

Ex Men (and a Woman) United: "Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" and "The Expendables"

By Mike Schulz

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD

Is there any working film director who adores actors more than Edgar Wright? I ask this after recently viewing (for maybe the sixth time) the British helmer's action spoof Hot Fuzz and (for maybe the millionth) the untouchable zombie satire Shaun of the Dead, comedies with the rare distinction of being populated entirely with sharp, funny performers; even the walk-ons - or, in Shaun's case, the lurch- and stumble-ons - are charismatic. And after seeing the director's latest, Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, I think a wholly reasonable case can be made for Wright being the best friend that anyone with a SAG card and a dream could ever hope for. You could fill 110 movies with the joyous onslaught of personality on display in this movie's 110 minutes.

28 Feb 2010

NYPD Boo-o-o-o-o!: "Cop Out" and "The Crazies"

By Mike Schulz

COP OUT

I bow to no one in my adoration for Chasing Amy, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks, and Clerks II. Still, I think it's safe to say that even those of us who frequently love the movies of New Jersey auteur Kevin Smith have always kind of wished he'd find a different director for them. His profanely hilarious, emotionally direct scripts can be exhilarating, but can you imagine how much better they might've played under the guidance of someone who actually knew where and how to position a camera?

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Noir Is the Dullest Color: "Sin City: A Dame to Kill for" and "Island of Lemurs: Madagascar"

Ghost World: "The Conjuring," "R.I.P.D.," "RED 2," and "Turbo"

Gee, I Didn't Hate "Joe": "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" and "The Host"

Time Warped: "Looper," "Pitch Perfect," "Won't Back Down," and "House at the End of the Street"

Writer Wrong: "The Words" and "The Cold Light of Day"

Old Habits Die Hard: "The Expendables 2," "ParaNorman," and "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"

Sunshine Strip: "Magic Mike," "Moonrise Kingdom," "People Like Us," and "Ted"

Men Behaving Badly: "Jackass 3D" and "RED"

Ex Men (and a Woman) United: "Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World" and "The Expendables"

NYPD Boo-o-o-o-o!: "Cop Out" and "The Crazies"

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