IDENTITY THIEF

Near the very start of the Jason Bateman/Melissa McCarthy comedy Identity Thief, Bateman's character, the mild-mannered businessman Sandy Patterson, is enjoying a birthday party thrown by his wife (Amanda Peet) and two adorable daughters. After blowing out his birthday candles, Sandy scoops his younger daughter in the air - she looks about four or five - and, in what seems like a totally improvised gesture, turns her upside down, playfully plopping her face-first into the cake. The whole family laughs, but no one laughs harder than that cake-smeared little girl, who takes a second to wipe frosting from her eyes and mouth before exclaiming, to our utter delight, "Oh my God!"

Just thought I'd share that in case you were curious about the movie's funny moments, because for me, that was the only one.

PLAYING FOR KEEPS

In director Gabriele Muccino's dramatic comedy Playing for Keeps, Gerard Butler portrays a former star athlete who hopes to reconnect with his ex-wife and son by coaching the kid's pee-wee soccer team, and who is consequently forced to (try to) resist the advances of a trio of beautiful, aggressive, lascivious soccer moms who can't keep their hands off him. This, in the language of Hollywood screenwriters, is what is known as "a problem."

FAHRENHEIT 9/11

I have several friends, including professed liberals, who can't stand Michael Moore, and it's not hard to see why: Even if you're on-board with Moore's politics, his glibness, bullying tactics, self-promotion, relentless simplifying, and anything-for-a-laugh gags can get in the way of his Bigger Picture, to the point where his methods overcome his message.

In a colon-happy summer that's already given us X2: X-Men United, Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, this past week saw the debut of three more excessively wordy titles: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde, and Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas. While these longer monikers are, admittedly, kinda helpful - they give you a good idea of what to expect from the Terminator and Legally Blonde sequels, and the Sinbad subheading assures you that, no, it's not a concert film featuring the one-time Star Search champion - they can play hell on print reviewers with limited space. So, for purposes of this article, the aforementioned will hereby be referred to as T3, LB2, and ... oh, I guess Sinbad will do.