23 Sep 2012

Cult of Personality: "The Master"

By Mike Schulz

Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman in The MasterTHE MASTER

Some 40 minutes into The Master - Paul Thomas Anderson's fascinating, vexing drama about the leader of a questionable self-actualization movement and the man's devoted acolyte - there's a scene between stars Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman so thunderously well-written and -performed that, for movie lovers, it might singlehandedly make viewing the film less recommended than mandatory.

23 Sep 2012

"Stee-e-e-erike!": "Trouble with the Curve," "End of Watch," and "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

By Mike Schulz

Amy Adams and Clint Eastwood in Trouble with the CurveTROUBLE WITH THE CURVE

The latest movie to star Clint Eastwood, marking the icon's first on-screen appearance since 2008's Gran Torino, is director Robert Lorenz's baseball drama Trouble with the Curve. That curve, by the way, is the least of this film's troubles.

16 Sep 2012

Send in the Clones: "Resident Evil: Retribution," "Ruby Sparks," and "Last Ounce of Courage"

By Mike Schulz

Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil: RetributionRESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION

If you were at a Friday-afternoon screening of Resident Evil: Retribution and heard, some 30 seconds before the end credits, an audible groan of frustration and annoyance, I apologize if my unplanned outburst was distracting. I just couldn't believe that this mindless, endless series was going to require yet another freakin' sequel.

09 Sep 2012

Writer Wrong: "The Words" and "The Cold Light of Day"

By Mike Schulz

Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana in The WordsTHE WORDS

Three separate narratives dovetail in The Words, a modestly engaging morality drama by writers/directors Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal. Yet ironically enough, the one narrative I never bought into was the one that's meant to be the most believable, though heaven knows the other two aren't exactly models of cinematic authenticity.

04 Sep 2012

"Get the Hell Out of Me!": "The Possession," "Lawless," and "Celeste & Jesse Forever"

By Mike Schulz

Jeffrey Dean Morgan in The PossessionTHE POSSESSION

The new horror thriller The Possession is about a little girl who requires an exorcism to remove the evil dybbuk inhabiting her body, and it opens with a title card informing us that the film is "based on a true story." You know what I'm aching to see one of these days? An exorcism-themed entertainment that isn't based on a true story. Can you imagine how much fun these things could be if we weren't consistently asked to believe in them?

20 Aug 2012

Old Habits Die Hard: "The Expendables 2," "ParaNorman," and "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"

By Mike Schulz

Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and Terry Crews in The Expendables 2THE EXPENDABLES 2

If home viewings of The Expendables 2 are one day turned into a drinking game, and I pray that they are, one of the rules has to be that you chug every time the film employs a thudding cliché from the '80s, either directly or indirectly. A plot involving stolen weapons-grade plutonium? Drink! A team of he-men astonished that a new female recruit can actually do something? Drink! Dolph Lundgren wrestling with a Rubik's Cube? Drink twice!

12 Aug 2012

The Running Men: "The Campaign," "The Bourne Legacy," "Nitro Circus: The Movie," and "Hope Springs"

By Mike Schulz

Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Dyan McDermott, and Will Ferrell in The CampaignTHE CAMPAIGN

As the movie's trailers have been running since what feels like the last presidential campaign, it's understandable if viewers enter the Will Ferrell/Zach Galifianakis political spoof The Campaign worried that all of the hilarious bits have already been spoiled for them. The wonderful surprise of director Jay Roach's comedy, however, is that they haven't - not unless viewers have somehow been privy to a trailer that lasts 85 minutes.

01 Jul 2012

Sunshine Strip: "Magic Mike," "Moonrise Kingdom," "People Like Us," and "Ted"

By Mike Schulz

Channing Tatum in Magic MikeMAGIC MIKE

Walking into the auditorium for a nearly sold-out, mid-afternoon screening of Magic Mike - "nearly sold-out" and "mid-afternoon" being phrases that rarely go together at the cineplex - I gauged the audience of obviously ecstatic patrons and said to my friend, "This is gonna be fun." Man, we had no idea.

29 May 2012

The Third Time's the Charmer: "Men in Black 3" and "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel"

By Mike Schulz

Josh Brolin and Will Smith in Men in Black 3MEN IN BLACK 3

Is it merely deserved absence making my heart grow fonder, or is Men in Black 3, against almost all expectation, awfully damned good?

22 Apr 2012

Tour of Doody: "The Lucky One," "Think Like a Man," "October Baby," and "Chimpanzee"

By Mike Schulz

Taylor Schilling and Zac Efron in The Lucky OneTHE LUCKY ONE

Every time I leave a movie version of some Nicholas Sparks novel, I'm relieved if it's not, thus far, the worst movie version of some Nicholas Sparks novel. It's to The Lucky One's good fortune, then, that 2008's Nights in Rodanthe still scrapes the bottom of that particular barrel, because otherwise we might've had a new champion.

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