20 Apr 2015

From 'Puter to Putrid - A Birthday Letter: "Unfriended," "Monkey Kingdom," "True Story," "While We're Young," and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2"

By Mike Schulz

Shelley Hennig in Unfriended Dear Dad,

It was wonderful seeing you again this past weekend at your 75th-birthday party! I had a great time in Chicagoland with you and the family and the extended family ... although I do apologize for whipping your ass at pinochle on Saturday. Hey, I learned from the master.

But it dawned on me that while you expressed surprise at my ability to also sneak in five weekend movies despite the birthday happenings and my hours spent on the highway, I never went into detail on what I saw. So let's get you caught up. (You're likely not gonna recognize many of the names and movies I reference. If you're uncertain about any of 'em, ask Mom. She'll know.)

28 Aug 2011

Hide and Speak: "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark," "Our Idiot Brother," and "Sharks 3D"

By Mike Schulz

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK

When a horror movie is really working, you tend to feel a tightening in the gut - a means of preventing you from audibly reacting to the intensity. When a horror movie is really not working, at least at the cineplex, you also tend to feel this clenching of the stomach muscles, but not because you're trying to avoid screaming. It's because you're trying to avoid laughing.

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