14 Jun 2015

Dino Might: "Jurassic World" and "D-Day: Normandy 1944"

By Mike Schulz

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard in Jurassic WorldJURASSIC WORLD

Hopefully it won't happen for many, many years. But when Steven Spielberg eventually passes away, will any of us be allowed to notice?

20 Apr 2015

From 'Puter to Putrid - A Birthday Letter: "Unfriended," "Monkey Kingdom," "True Story," "While We're Young," and "Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2"

By Mike Schulz

Shelley Hennig in UnfriendedDear Dad,

It was wonderful seeing you again this past weekend at your 75th-birthday party! I had a great time in Chicagoland with you and the family and the extended family ... although I do apologize for whipping your ass at pinochle on Saturday. Hey, I learned from the master.

But it dawned on me that while you expressed surprise at my ability to also sneak in five weekend movies despite the birthday happenings and my hours spent on the highway, I never went into detail on what I saw. So let's get you caught up. (You're likely not gonna recognize many of the names and movies I reference. If you're uncertain about any of 'em, ask Mom. She'll know.)

06 Aug 2011

Swap Meat: "The Change-Up" and "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"

By Mike Schulz

Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds in The Change-UpTHE CHANGE-UP

The Change-Up, in which Jason Bateman's discontented husband and father magically swaps bodies with Ryan Reynolds' perfectly contented slacker dumb-ass, is an appallingly smutty and juvenile slapstick. In the segment that finds Reynolds (in Bateman's body) preparing a late-night feeding for his pal's infant twins - with one tot seen playing with butcher knives and the other reaching into the blender and sticking his tongue into an electrical socket - it features one of the most painfully unfunny scenes in cinema history, and I'm not excluding any given scene in Sophie's Choice or Schindler's List.

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