22 Aug 2015

Deputy Dogged: "Sinister 2," "Hitman: Agent 47," and "American Ultra"

By Mike Schulz

James Ransone in Sinister 2SINISTER 2

You know the feeling you get when you go to summer camp and make a great new friend, but he/she isn't there the next summer, or the summer after that, and you end up forgetting about that friend until the next summer, when, all of a sudden, there he/she is? I don't, because I never went to summer camp. But I'm betting that sensation is similar to what I felt in the first minutes of Sinister 2 once I recognized James Ransone, who played Ethan Hawke's adorably dippy deputy pal in 2012's Sinister. Although the actor has amassed a bunch of film and TV credits since then (albeit not in anything I've seen), I can't say I've thought of him even once since the release of that low-budget horror hit. Yet the second Ransone's character showed up in director Cirián Foy's follow-up, with his chronic awkwardness and puppy-dog eyes and intense likability, it was like being reunited with a long-lost buddy whom you're ashamed to have let slip away. Ransone's presence here - as our romantic lead, no less! - was a hugely welcome surprise. That Sinister 2 didn't at all suck might've been a bigger one.

09 Mar 2011

Off to See the Lizard: "Rango," "The Adjustment Bureau," and "Beastly"

By Mike Schulz

RangoRANGO

I spent the past several days enjoying a vacation halfway across the country, and am consequently getting my reviews written a few days later than usual. In terms of reviewing the animated Rango, though, I'm quite grateful for the delay, because I so rarely get the chance to write about movies that I love after I've seen them a second time. Had the vacation lasted longer, I might've even gone for a third.

20 Feb 2011

Rebel without a Planet: "I Am Number Four," "Unknown," and "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son"

By Mike Schulz

Dianna Agron and Alex Pettyfer in I Am Number FourI AM NUMBER FOUR

A handsome, troubled, rebellious transfer student dealing with alienation and the wrath of bullies at his new high school. The kid's ineffectual father, shrugging off his child's loneliness and conflicts with the authorities. The kid's one new friend, a withdrawn, frequently picked-on nerd with his own parental hang-ups. The kid's potential love interest, a pretty, popular girl who feels like an outsider herself, and appears to be the property of the kid's chief tormentor. If you've seen a certain iconic drama starring Natalie Wood, Sal Mineo, and a red-jacket-wearing James Dean, the aforementioned character descriptions might sound a teensy bit familiar.

28 Feb 2010

NYPD Boo-o-o-o-o!: "Cop Out" and "The Crazies"

By Mike Schulz

Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis in Cop OutCOP OUT

I bow to no one in my adoration for Chasing Amy, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks, and Clerks II. Still, I think it's safe to say that even those of us who frequently love the movies of New Jersey auteur Kevin Smith have always kind of wished he'd find a different director for them. His profanely hilarious, emotionally direct scripts can be exhilarating, but can you imagine how much better they might've played under the guidance of someone who actually knew where and how to position a camera?

18 Jan 2010

Goner, Baby, Goner: "The Lovely Bones," "The Book of Eli," and "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans"

By Mike Schulz

Saoirse Ronan in The Lovely BonesTHE LOVELY BONES

The Lovely Bones, director Peter Jackson's long-awaited take on Alice Sebold's beloved novel, is a stupefyingly bad movie, the kind of big-screen debacle that makes you wonder if its entire creative team wasn't suffering through some hideous, collective blockage of talent all throughout filming. You can feel it going wrong in the first minutes, when a car's quick swerve results in an unconvincing and inappropriately comedic loss of a hubcap, but the shock of Jackson's endeavor is that practically nothing in it goes right. Tonally, just about every scene here feels a little bit off, and the rest feel way, way off; it's almost as if Jackson, screenwriting collaborators Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, and a (usually) wildly gifted cast purposely set out to make the absolute worst Lovely Bones adaptation possible.

09 Aug 2009

Joe Blow(s): "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" and "A Perfect Getaway"

By Mike Schulz

Sienna Miller in G.I. Joe: The Rise of CobraG.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA

Anticipating that the movie would suck, a friend extended a challenge prior to my screening of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: Try making it through the whole movie without thinking of Team America: World Police.

01 Apr 2003

Latest King Adaptation an Incoherent Nightmare: "Dreamcatcher," "The Core," "View from the Top," and "Talk to Her"

By Mike Schulz

Morgan Freeman in DreamcatcherDREAMCATCHER

Just how unspeakably bad is the Stephen King adaptation Dreamcatcher? Allow me to present a few examples of opening sentences I was considering for this review:

14 Jun 2000

Typical Cage-iness: "Gone in 60 Seconds"

By Mike Schulz

Robert Duvall and Nicolas Cage in Gone in 60 SecondsGONE IN 60 SECONDS

 

When, exactly, did Nicolas Cage sell his soul to Jerry Bruckheimer? And is it at all possible for him to get it back?

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