17 Jul 2011

Closing the Book: "Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" and "Winnie the Pooh"

By Mike Schulz

Daniel Radcliffe and Ralph Fiennes in Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Part 2HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2

As the end credits began rolling at my screening of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, the (need I say it?) final installment in the film series adapted from J.K. Rowling's beloved novels, I'll admit that I anticipated more applause than I actually heard. Then again, it's awfully hard to clap while simultaneously wiping tears from your cheeks.

10 Jul 2011

Harass-holes: "Horrible Bosses," "Larry Crowne," and "Zookeeper"

By Mike Schulz

Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, and Jason Bateman in Horrible BossesHORRIBLE BOSSES

It's kind of a shame that the Farrelly brothers' Three Stooges movie is currently in the process of filming. Is it too late for the directors to re-cast it with Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, and Charlie Day in the leads?

30 Jun 2011

Bay's in Toyland: "Transformers: Dark of the Moon"

By Mike Schulz

Trassformers: Dark of the MoonTRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

As long as Transformers: Dark of the Moon didn't come off as the worst movie of the year - or rather, the worst movie of several years - it would stand as a notable improvement on 2009's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I'm greatly relieved, then, to say that Michael Bay's latest, ultra-loud toy story is not the foul, nightmarish, jaw-dropping travesty that its predecessor was. Only half of it is.

26 Jun 2011

Flat Tires: "Cars 2" and "Bad Teacher"

By Mike Schulz

Cars 2CARS 2

Judging by his voice, vocabulary, and the intensity with which he occasionally kicked the back of my theater seat, I'm guessing that the kid sitting behind me at Cars 2 was about three or four. He would also, for the folks at Pixar and Disney, be perhaps the ideal critic to supply a pull-quote for the animated comedy's TV and print ads, because during the screening's first 20 minutes, absolutely everything about the experience, for this child, was awesome. Or rather, "Awesome!"

18 Jun 2011

Emerald Rhymes-with-City: "Green Lantern," "Mr. Popper's Penguins," and "The Art of Getting By"

By Mike Schulz

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in Green LanternGREEN LANTERN

I won't bore you by trying, but I'm reasonably sure I could devote a few thousand words to what I didn't like about the (presumed) franchise-starter Green Lantern, an effects-heavy superhero adventure that might mark a new first for the on-screen-comic-book canon: Director Martin Campbell's movie is dully sardonic and dully sincere. I only need two words, however, to pinpoint everything I loved about the film: Peter Sarsgaard.

12 Jun 2011

Oui, Oui!: "Midnight in Paris" and "Judy Moody & the Not Bummer Summer"

By Mike Schulz

Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams in Midnight in ParisMIDNIGHT IN PARIS

The overall experience of Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris, at least for me, can be effectively visualized in one sequence - one shot, really - in this jubilant, intoxicating comedy.

12 Jun 2011

Not-Even-Close Encounters: "Super 8"

By Mike Schulz

Elle Fanning and Joel Courtney in Super 8SUPER 8

Though many of us might agree with the sentiment, saying that writer/director J.J. Abrams' Super 8 stumbles in its last half hour isn't entirely accurate. For one thing, "stumbles" implies a relatively minor disruption, and what happens to this Spielberg-influenced sci-fi thriller as it nears its climax is hardly minor; the movie, in its final 30 minutes, doesn't stumble so much as fly off a cliff, fall onto a bunch of land mines, and explode.

05 Jun 2011

Generation X: "X-Men: First Class"

By Mike Schulz

Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy in X-Men: First ClassX-MEN: FIRST CLASS

If you had told the 10-year-old me that Hollywood would one day release a series of big-budgeted, serious-minded films based on the X-Men comic books, he probably would've done cartwheels for about a week. And if you told that same mini-me that he'd one day grow almost completely apathetic toward this film series, he probably would've laughed in your face.

27 May 2011

One Night in Bangkok: "The Hangover Part II" and "Kung Fu Panda 2"

By Mike Schulz

Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Justin Bartha, and Ed Helms in The Hangover Part IITHE HANGOVER PART II

Todd Phillips' The Hangover Part II is the sequel to the director's box-office smash from the summer of 2009, and it's just like the original.

Let me re-punctuate that: It is just. Like. The original.

 

22 May 2011

Privateerible: "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides"

By Mike Schulz

Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger TidesPIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES

During the first hour of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the third sequel in Disney's hugely successful franchise, characters are routinely told to beware of the mermaids - half-woman/half-fish beings who use their comely looks and tranquil siren songs to drag seafaring men to their deaths. Our adventurers take note of the warnings but pay them little mind, and really, why should they? Disney, after all, is the studio that gave us the benign cutie-pies of The Little Mermaid and (through its Touchstone Pictures label) Splash. Just how nasty can these things be?

We eventually find out, and as a result, I'll likely never look at Ariel or Daryl Hannah the same way again.

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