SIGNS

M. Night Shyamalan is a clever, clever man. I don't necessarily mean that as a compliment, though, as he's clever in a way that's completely vexing to film critics, or at least, to critics who remain underwhelmed by his output.

K-19: THE WIDOWMAKER

Most movie trailers make the film in question look much better than it actually is; the previews for K-19: The Widowmaker don't give any indication how good it actually is.

MEN IN BLACK II

I'm not sure how much there is to say about Men in Black II, director Barry Sonnenfeld's sequel to his sci-fi/comedy smash. There's always something to look at, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones provide the occasional flash of dry wit, and it's all over blessedly fast - the movie runs some 85 minutes with end credits, and you wouldn't want it to last a minute longer.

MINORITY REPORT

Last summer, when Steven Spielberg's science-fiction epic A.I.: Artificial Intelligence was released, it was greeted with a few rave reviews but near-universal audience apathy. Working from material shepherded by the late Sultan of Cynicism, Stanley Kubrick, Spielberg directed the film as if Kubrick's ghost perched on his shoulder, demanding that every scene be moodier, uglier, and above all slower than the one than preceded it; the film was brilliantly designed but emotionally vacant, and it drained you of your energy.