Stories of workplace bullying are commonplace throughout the United States.

Some real-life examples:

Mavis: "When I started there, I was told that someone had been acting in the position and had expected to get the job. This person continually undermined me and turned other staff against me. I endured 12 months of hell, and felt as if I was sinking in quicksand."

A male employee at a different company: "The misery took over my whole life. I turned nasty and bitter and treated my wife and kids like whipping posts. After many visits to a psychologist, I was able to think of all the positive things in my life. Now I look back and think I wouldn't want to go through that experience again."

In general, there are no legal repercussions for non-physical bullying except in specific cases, such as sexual harassment. In fact, bullying is a character trait that tends to be condoned in American society. Consider our national obsession -- football. The object of this celebrated game is to get the ball to the other player's goal, no matter what it takes: trampling, hitting, pushing, screaming. If football is a metaphor for American society, then the winner is the person who pushes others out of the way and wins no matter the cost.

Bullies win by controlling situations and people around them. They crave power and the attention that comes from getting what they want.

The effects of working with a bully

Adults have a difficult time performing their jobs effectively when subjected to bullying by a co-worker. It takes a toll physically because of our physiological responses to emotional stress. Typically, victims endure feelings of depression, guilt and shame, and they suffer sleep loss and fatigue.  In some cases, victims begin to believe the bully's behavior is warranted, and they develop feelings of worthlessness. They cannot complete tasks at the same level as others in their units.

Victims of bullying may suffer from panic disorders, post traumatic stress syndrome, agoraphobia and stress-induced high blood pressure. If they leave the job or are docked because of resulting lowered performance, they face economic issues. Some take their own lives.

The abuse takes a toll on victims in every way imaginable.

Are you a bully?

Being accused of being the bully can be difficult to accept. You may believe your actions were unintentional, or a justified emotional response to provocation. Perhaps, you see yourself as the only one in the office qualified to do anything right.  However, whatever you have said or done, whether purposefully or not, you have created a culture of negativity for at least one person and you need to honestly assess the situation and your role in it.

Symptoms that you may be the bully include :

• Insulting a coworker (remember, one person's "joke" may be another's insult).

• Undermining another employee's work by creating a hostile environment or perhaps by consistently calling their attention to "flaws". (Bullies focus on a person, while constructive criticism focuses on a task.)

• As an employer, ignoring your employees' suggestions.

• Humiliating your employee in front of others.

If any of these sound like something that you may be doing, it is important to address this immediately with your victim. You may want to speak with your doctor about getting help, such as counseling, sensitivity training, anger management and other seminars.

It is important to understand the signs and symptoms of a bully in order to help the victim and the victimizer deal with and exterminate the behavior.

If you are a victim, diligently record workplace bullying events. If you choose to make a formal complaint, you will be responsible for providing information should there be charges brought against the bully.

About Rakesh Malhotra

Rakesh Malhotra, founder of Five Global Values (www.FiveGlobalValues.com), is a world-traveled, values-driven business leader who specializes in organization behavior. Rakesh's fascination with the connection between human behavior and core values was sparked many years ago. As a result of working, living, and traveling around the world to nearly  40 countries, Rakesh realized that the Five Global Values determine overall  human behavior  across all cultures. He is also the author of Adventures of Tornado Kid: Whirling Back Home Towards Timeless Values.

People have changed in dramatic ways over the past five years, and businesses should take that into consideration this holiday season, says one public relations expert.

"As people's values change, so do their shopping habits. To market effectively, businesses should be aware of how their prospective customers have changed," says Marsha Friedman, CEO of EMSI Public Relations (www.emsincorporated.com) in Wesley Chapel, Fla.

Shoppers are fussier, and while recessionary budget concerns are one reason for that, thrift is  not the only value affecting consumer choices, Friedman says.

"Some stem from personal issues. Take me, for instance. As I grow older, I view many more material things as clutter. I want to get rid of the junk in my life and focus on important things," she says.

Friedman is a baby boomer - a group that makes up 26 percent of the U.S. population.

"I'm sure I'm not the only person experiencing a change in how I view material goods, what's 'clutter' and what's meaningful," she says.

Other changing values have arisen from global concerns, such as the world's reliance on oil,  growing environmental issues, and whether goods were manufactured here or abroad, she says.

"Businesses that want to cash in on holiday shopping can set themselves apart with a message that appeals to their audience's changing values," Friedman says.

Here are her tips for developing a new marketing approach that's in sync with the times:

• Identify what makes your product appealing to customers' values. If your homemade soaps are produced right here in the U.S.A., brag about it! In a recent poll, 90 percent of us rated "keeping jobs in America" as the No. 1 step the government can take to help us economically. Many shoppers have friends or family members who are unemployed or underemployed; that makes for a greater appreciation of businesses that create jobs here at home. Your "made in America" label is valuable! Does your packaging use recycled materials - or is it recyclable? There are now 69 percent of us recycling, according to a National Geographic poll. Does your manufacturing process use a renewable energy source?  More than half of us think it's more important to develop alternative sources of energy than to find more oil.

• Become an expert. You can gain valuable media exposure for your company or product by positioning yourself (or your spokesman) as an industry expert with useful information to share. For instance, if you're highlighting the fact that your product is made in America because you to help put Americans to work, offer them suggestions based on your experience. What are skills employers value? What are the biggest mistakes applicants make during interviews?

•  Which channels will be best for getting your message out? Where does your audience get its news and entertainment? Are they using social media? Reading the newspaper? Listening to radio or watching TV? Or a mix of all four? On social media, you can share your expertise by offering useful information and links to resources, and engaging in conversations. Print is a great medium for providing consumer tips, as is TV, which is also perfect if your message has a visual component. Talk radio shows look for debate and information that solves problems. On social media, you can build a following of fans who help spread your message, while mentions in (or appearances on) traditional media will give you the implied endorsement of journalists and talk show hosts.

• Choose a messenger who's accessible. If you're the CEO and the person best qualified to be interviewed by journalists and show hosts, you may be the perfect spokesperson. But if you're so busy you can't drop what you're doing to respond to interview requests, you will lose valuable media opportunities. Your messenger should be a person who is well-versed on the chosen area of expertise - and available at the drop of a hat.

If your message hasn't changed with the times, Friedman says, now is a good time to think about your company or product in a new light.

"If you look at it from the shoppers' perspective, you may just see something that appeals to consumers' changing values," she says. "Turn that into a message that resonates with potential customers and you may just have your best holiday ever.

About Marsha Friedman

Marsha Friedman is a 22-year veteran of the public relations industry. She is the CEO of EMSI Public Relations (www.emsincorporated.com), a national firm that provides PR strategy and publicity services to corporations, entertainers, authors and professional firms. Marsha is the author of Celebritize Yourself: The 3-Step Method to Increase Your Visibility and Explode Your Business and she can also be heard weekly on her Blog Talk Radio Show, EMSI's PR Insider every Thursday at 3:00 PM EST.

Dreams come true, but not through wishful thinking, says John Berglund, author of the new memoir, A Beach Less Traveled: From Corporate Chaos to Flip-Flop Perfumer (www.abeachlesstraveled.com).

After successful careers as an attorney, lobbyist, trade-association executive and bowling industry magnate, Berglund tired of the corporate rat race.  He was also tired of winters bundled in layers of long johns, shoveling snow.

"Everybody has their own version of paradise," he says. "Whether it's New York City, the Great Smokey Mountains or my personal favorite, the French-Caribbean island of St. Martin, paradise is within reach - with a little planning."

An essential part of planning was deciding what to do for a living once he got there. Berglund would embark on his new career path as a perfumer with his wife of more than 30 years, Cyndi. In "A Beach Less Traveled," he shares the steps - and the missteps - he took as he and his wife crafted an idyllic new life for themselves.

His candid, humorous tale has won glowing reviews.

"My wife and I met the Berglunds when we visited their perfumery on Saint Martin and we were amazed by their adventurous energy and passion," writes Amazon.com reviewer Tito Francona, a Major League Baseball Player from 1956 to 1970. " 'A Beach Less Traveled' sizzles with the same enthusiasm - the driving force behind their incredible business venture in the tropics."

Lisa Burnett of Saint Martin's The Daily Herald enjoyed Berglund's stories about meeting and interacting with the other residents of the 37-square-mile island.

" 'A Beach Less Traveled' takes the reader through every challenge, every victory, and every touching encounter with the people," she writes. "(It's) a must-read for anyone seeking to make a Caribbean island their home, but also instructive from a business point of view."

About John Berglund

John Berglund began his career as a chief county prosecutor at age 24 and then transitioned into a lobbyist and trade-association executive. Another career shift led him to being voted the bowling industry's most influential person for a decade. He followed his passion for chemistry, which he'd studied in college, and left the "rat race" for his Caribbean perfumery in St. Martin. Berglund lives with his wife of more than 30 years, Cyndi, who has significantly contributed to his dream job in paradise. The couple has two grown children.