11 May 2004

"Van Helsing" Forgets to Add a Funny Bone: Also, "Laws of Attraction" and "Elephant"

By Mike Schulz

Hugh Jackman in Van HelsingVAN HELSING

Stephen Sommers' action thriller Van Helsing, the first of 2004's torrent of summer blockbusters, is big, loud, frenetic, and almost no fun at all. For those who've missed the omnipresent previews, the film is a special-effects bonanza featuring Hugh Jackman as the titular character, a taciturn growler who spends 130 minutes attempting to rid his corner of Europe from a series of CGI-created monsters, and it's all treated with such solemnity that I wouldn't have been surprised to see Henrik Ibsen listed as a screenwriter.

13 Apr 2004

Surprisingly, "The Alamo" Isn't Instantly Forgettable: Also, "Hellboy," "Walking Tall," "The Fog of War," and "In America"

By Mike Schulz

The AlamoTHE ALAMO

The Alamo is surprisingly not-bad. John Lee Hancock's long-delayed drama is by no means a great movie, but it's a pretty darned good audience movie, a middlebrow weeper like A Beautiful Mind or Titanic that, despite its flaws (and against your better judgment), you can find yourself really falling for.

23 Mar 2004

Depp Makes "Secret Window" a Non-Guilty Pleasure: Also, "Spartan" and "21 Grams"

By Mike Schulz

Johnny Depp in Secret WindowSECRET WINDOW

Even though the movie isn't all that good, Secret Window is one of those thrillers that you want to watch again immediately after your first viewing. But unlike, say, The Sixth Sense or Fight Club, where you're curious to see exactly how The Twist was pulled off, your desire to return to this Stephen King adaptation is based solely on one thing: the performance of Johnny Depp.

16 Mar 2004

Dull Competency Sinks "Hidalgo": Also, "Girl with a Pearl Earring"

By Mike Schulz

Viggo Mortensen in HidalgoHIDALGO

As family-friendly adventures go, the Disney-produced western Hidalgo isn't all that bad, but it sure could have used a feistier directorial spirit, something like what Gore Verbinski brought to last summer's Pirates of the Caribbean.

09 Mar 2004

Stiller and Wilson Shine in "Starsky & Hutch": Also, "Twisted," "Against the Ropes," "Dirty Dancing; Havana Nights," "Eurotrip," and "The Triplets of Belleville"

By Mike Schulz

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in Starsky & HutchSTARSKY & HUTCH

In various projects over the years, Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson have repeatedly proven their talents in writing, directing, and performing, yet if they were to trash all their other aspirations and simply make one deliriously dumbass comedy together per year, I, for one, wouldn't mind in the slightest.

03 Mar 2004

"The Passion of the Christ"

By Mike Schulz

The Passion of the ChristTHE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

Leaving a screening of The Passion of the Christ, I felt pummeled, confused, and very, very angry, feelings I can't imagine director Mel Gibson wanting to inspire with his cinematic take on Jesus Christ's last 12 hours on earth.

17 Feb 2004

"50 First Dates" Leave Nothing but Despair: Also, "The Cooler" and "Barbershop 2: Back in Business"

By Mike Schulz

Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler in 50 First Dates50 FIRST DATES

Adam Sandler's 50 First Dates is about a man who falls in love with a woman suffering from short-term memory loss, a condition the filmmakers must think afflicts their audience as well.

03 Feb 2004

Theron's Impending Oscar Win Deserved for "Monster": Also, "The Butterfly Effect" and "Torque"

By Robert Jackson Jr.

Christina Ricci and Charlize Theron in MonsterMONSTER

In all honesty, I was rather dreading Patty Jenkins' Monster, the much-lauded drama that has received nearly universal acclaim (and a Best Actress Golden Globe) for star Charlize Theron.

20 Jan 2004

"The Station Agent" Ranks with 2003's Best Movies: Also, "Big Fish" and "House of Sand and Fog"

By Mike Schulz

Peter Dinklage and Patricia Clarkson in The Station AgentTHE STATION AGENT

After spending 90 minutes with the cast of Tom McCarthy's The Station Agent, I believe I would, à la The Purple Rose of Cairo, have eagerly leapt right into the screen and been content to spend the rest of my life in their company.

06 Jan 2004

"Cold Mountain" Is a Cold Fish: Also, "Pieces of April" and "Stuck on You"

By Mike Schulz

Jude Law in Cold MountainCOLD MOUNTAIN

Though the story of two separated lovers braving incredible hardships to eventually reunite is a common one in war-themed movies, I don't think I've ever been less moved by it than in Anthony Minghella's Cold Mountain, an adaptation of Charles Frazier's much-adored Civil War novel.

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