10 Sep 2008

The Hitman with the Heart of Gold: "Bangkok Dangerous," "Babylon A.D.," and "Disaster Movie"

By Mike Schulz

Nicolas Cage and Shahkrit Yamnarm in Bangkok DangerousBANGKOK DANGEROUS

There are a handful of motion-picture elements that are all but guaranteed to make my eyelids droop, including (a) mopey, droning voice-over narration by a film's tough-guy protagonist, (b) a color palette composed almost entirely of steely grays and blues, the traditional template for the "serious" action thriller, and (c) Nicolas Cage. Consequently, I hit the narcoleptic's jackpot with Bangkok Dangerous, a determinedly, even absurdly solemn outing by directing brothers Danny and Oxide Pang. The film is a remake of the siblings' 1999 Thai-language release of the same name, but not having seen it, I can't imagine that the Pangs' original endeavor could be more glum and exhausting than this revamp; I'm pretty certain it was only my constant head-shaking, at the continued waste that has become Cage's career, that kept me awake.

02 Jul 2008

WOW•E: "WALL•E" and "Wanted"

By Mike Schulz

WALL•EWALL•E

Pixar's WALL•E is the best 100 minutes I've spent at the movies this year. It may wind up being the best 100 I'll have spent at the movies all year. (The first half seems perfect, and the second half seems merely to be Pixar working at full inspiration, which is the closest thing to perfect.) Prior to WALL•E, I found it impossible to decide whether Toy Story 2 or Finding Nemo or The Incredibles was my favorite of the studio's features. Now they're all fighting for second.

14 May 2008

Running on Empty: "Speed Racer," "What Happens in Vegas...", and "Redbelt"

By Mike Schulz

Emile Hirsch and Christina Ricci in Speed RacerSPEED RACER

In future years, when I'm wondering exactly when it was that I turned into a very old man, I'm hoping I'll remember the date of May 9, 2008, when I fell asleep some 45 minutes into the onslaught of candy-colored incoherence called Speed Racer. And when, after returning to consciousness a minute or so later, I made it through another couple of scenes before falling asleep again.

21 Mar 2006

E for Extraordinary: "V for Vendetta," "She's the Man," "The Shaggy Dog," "The Human Body," and "Bugs!"

By Mike Schulz

Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman in V for VendettaV FOR VENDETTA

A day after seeing it, I'm still a bit shaken by John McTeague's graphic-novel adaptation V for Vendetta. Action blockbusters - not to mention action blockbusters based on comic books - have been so dour and pedestrian of late that I don't know if I've fully grasped the extent of Vendetta's greatness yet; it's the kind of explosive, overwhelming work that gets better and better the more you think of it. The film is a little 1984, a little Phantom of the Opera, and, with its screenplay by the Wachowski brothers, more than a little Matrix-y, but it casts an extraordinary, devastating spell. It may be the most fully realized film of a graphic novel the genre has yet seen, a movie you want to talk (and argue) about long after the closing credits.

07 Mar 2005

"Be Cool" a Maddening Waste of Time and Talent: Also, "The Jacket" and "Cursed"

By Mike Schulz

Uma Thurman and John Travolta in Be CoolBE COOL

Granted, I've missed a few of the year's more high-profile flicks - Are We There Yet?, White Noise, Son of the Mask, that thing with the Heffalumps - but, in general, the releases I have viewed have been so crummy as to be some kind of joke. (The Citizen Kane of the group would actually be the remake of Assault on Precinct 13, which should tell you everything you need to know about Hollywood's output in early 2005.) But, with the arrival of Be Cool, the joke is no longer funny. Be Cool is worse than Elektra. Hell, it's worse than Alone in the Dark. I literally can't remember the last time I left a screening feeling so angered by the waste of time and talent onscreen; it's the sort of smug, lazy Bad Movie that puts you in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

28 Sep 2004

"Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut" Unnecessary But Still Stunning: Also, "The Forgotten" and "Wimbledon"

By Mike Schulz
Jake Gyllenhaal in Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut

DONNIE DARKO: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT

After I first saw Donnie Darko on DVD some 16 months back, I did something I'd done only once or twice before, and never again since: I returned to the main menu, hit "Play," and watched the movie again.

21 Sep 2004

"Sky Captain" Brings Surprise and Fun: "Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow" and "Cellular"

By Mike Schulz

Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow in Sky Captain & the World of TomorrowSKY CAPTAIN & THE WORLD OF TOMORROW

Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow might be the movie year's most refreshing surprise, especially when you consider how disastrous the results could have been.

07 Sep 2004

Late-Summer Odds and Ends: "Hero," "Napoleon Dynamite," "Without a Paddle," "Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid," "Suspect Zero," and "The Exorcist: The Beginning"

By Mike Schulz

Jet Li in HeroHERO

Does any moviegoer really care what Zhang Yimou's Chinese martial-arts epic Hero is actually about? You get to see adversaries battling one another while running on water! You get to see a woman warding off a bow-and-arrow onslaught using only her dressing gown! You get to see a guy splitting raindrops in half with a sword, for Pete's sake!

20 Jul 2004

"I, Robot" Soulless and Hollow: Also, "A Cinderella Story"

By Junior Theatre

Shia LaBeouf and Will Smith in I, RobotI, ROBOT

I, Robot is perfectly titled, because it's about as mechanical and impersonal as Hollywood entertainment gets. That's not to say it's completely unenjoyable - Alex Proyas' sci-fi work, inspired by a series of Isaac Asimov stories, features some nifty set pieces, including an exciting mid-film sequence involving a hundred 'bots doing considerable damage on an underground freeway - but the film progresses with so little inventiveness that you'll have better luck tallying up the film's numerous influences (Blade Runner, A. I., Minority Report ... ) than finding an original idea.

11 Nov 2003

"The Matrix Revolutions" Emerges as the Best of the Matrix Series: Also, "Elf" and "American Splendor"

By Mike Schulz

Keanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving in The Matrix RevolutionsTHE MATRIX REVOLUTIONS

The Matrix was, for me, mostly hooey, and this summer's The Matrix Reloaded seemed, at best, visually resplendent nonsense, so imagine my surprise when I attended The Matrix Revolutions and found myself really enjoying it.

Pages

Subscribe & Listen to Reader Podcasts

On Stands Now

 

Tagged Content

Two Ways to Subscribe

1. Subscribe to free weekly e-mail content updates.

You'll get both the current official narrative challenge and What's Happenin' in the Quad Cities.
(Did you know we publish a new Amy Alkon Advice Goddess, Real Astrology, Red Meat cartoon and RCR Crossword every week?) 

* indicates required

View previous campaigns.

2. Get 12 monthly issues mailed first class for $48

Get 12 issues mailed monthly for $48 per year.

Get the printed Reader edition mailed to you (or anyone you want) first-class for 12 months for $48.
$24 goes to postage and handling, $24 goes to keeping the doors open!

Click this link to Subscribe now.