12 Dec 2010

Lewis and Lark: "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" and "The Tourist"

By Mike Schulz

Ben Barnes, Skandar Keynes, and Georgie Henley in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn TreaderTHE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER

In the third cinematic installment of C.S. Lewis' Narnia series, the cumbersomely titled The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, we're introduced to a character new to the franchise - a grouchy little snot named Eustace Scrubb. The pre-adolescent cousin to the young heroes of 2005's The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe and 2008's Prince Caspian, this kid, played by Will Poulter, is truly a piece of work - closed-minded, miserly, cowardly, and prone to explosively motor-mouthed bouts of hysteria. With his constantly knit brow and the voice of an aggrieved, middle-aged schoolmarm, Poulter's Eustace is about the most obnoxious, potentially alienating figure that you could ever imagine popping into this fantasy saga. He's also so side-splittingly funny that he almost singlehandedly makes Dawn Treader not just enjoyable, but easily the most surprising screen Narnia to date.

07 Jan 2009

Star Wars: "Doubt," "Valkyrie," "The Reader," "Bedtime Stories," and "Marley & Me"

By Mike Schulz

Meryl Streep in DoubtDOUBT

Based on his Pulitzer Prize-winning play, writer/director John Patrick Shanley's period drama Doubt - set in 1964, and concerning a nun who suspects a priest of sexual misconduct with an altar boy - isn't much of a movie. Shanley's previous directorial effort was 1990's Joe Versus the Volcano, and it's a shame he wasn't able to get in more practice over the last 18 years; in an attempt to gussy up the visual blandness that accompanies most theatrical adaptations, Shanley opts for a series of high- and low-angle shots and symbolic thunder, lightning, and wind effects that oftentimes make Doubt resemble a satire of a low-budget horror flick. And it's still visually bland.

25 Jul 2006

Shymalan a Ding Dong: "Lady in the Water," "Clerks II," and "My Super Ex-Girlfriend"

By Mike Schulz

Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard in Lady in the WaterLADY IN THE WATER

A mysterious publicity campaign used to work in M. Night Shymalan's favor; the less you knew about his forthcoming movies, the more you wanted to see them. Now, however, a lack of pre-release information on a Shymalan project seems less about building suspense than trying to quarantine bad buzz, and, in the case of Lady in the Water, with good reason.

This might be the most hysterically inane movie of the year. This might be the most hysterically inane movie of the next several years. I'm torn between urging you to stay as far away from the film as possible and demanding that you line up to see it immediately; a cinematic goof of this magnitude is almost too priceless to miss.

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