05 Jun 2012

Fact-Based Tale of 1700s Virginia Mirrors Contemporary Immigration Challenges

By Ginny Grimsley
Debut Novelist Says History Remains the Greatest Teacher

Understanding America's earliest immigration conflicts -- the collision of Native Americans and European explorers and settlers - is an excellent tool for examining some of the immigration challenges and perceptions facing us today.

The two groups, neither with the barest understanding of the other, traded, bartered, bargained and fought over land. By 1700, the settlers' movement west was at a standstill. Their vulnerability to dangers of the wilderness and the unprotected western frontier made settlement west of the great river plantations too risky.

In researching Dangerous Differences (www.quailhigh.com), a fact-based novel of the time period, author Mac Laird of Williamsburg, VA., began to understand how the two groups both collaborated and sought to protect themselves. In some instances, their efforts were fruitful. In others, they failed miserably.

The cast of fictional characters in the book live through the dangerous differences:  the notion of profit, so dear to one and unknown to the other; and the concepts of private property, fences, and the accumulation of wealth, unknown and unneeded by the tribes, yet fundamental to the settlers. A strong work ethic, honored by the settlers, stood in puzzling contrast to the hunter and warrior fixation of the tribesmen. The English devotion to one all-powerful God faced a similar devotion by the tribes to their various deities.

There seemed to be no end to the differences defying peaceful coexistence. Raids, massacres and outright war inevitably became the solution for both sides until the overpowering numbers and relentless waves of new settlers forced most of the declining tribes and individuals into submission.

Laird illustrates the impact of these troublesome times on both settlers and tribesmen. In just a few years and like most of the Virginia tribes, the Saponi had lost half of their people. Unsure of how to meet these challenges, Laird's fictional Chief Custoga sends his 13-year old son, Kadomico, to the grammar school at the new College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, the capital of Virginia, to learn the way of the English. The Virginia and North Carolina tribes are facing the loss of their hunting grounds, vicious raids and captivity by the mighty Iroquois and other strong northern tribes desperately trying to keep their own numbers strong.

"As always with history, understanding the perspectives of both the existing population and those seeking opportunity can be enlightening as Americans debate contemporary challenges," Laird says.

About Mac Laird

After a career in telecommunications with the U.S. Navy, Mac Laird found his niche in America's South Eastern Woodlands and began to build with the natural materials from the land in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. In time, he started writing about that land and the people. His first book, Quail High Above the Shenandoah (2007) gives a vivid account of building with logs. Dangerous Differences leads the reader through the wonders of the mountains, rivers, and forests of Virginia and North Carolina and introduces the troubling differences between the frontier Indians and settlers of the new world. The author and his wife, Johnnie, now live in Williamsburg, VA.

04 Jun 2012

Helping Teens Financially Means More Than Handing Them Money

By Ginny Grimsley
5 Tips for Turning Adolescents into Fiscally Smart Adults

As children blossom into young men and women, most insist on planning and running their own lives. Parents worry about all the basic essentials for their kids' independent living, like housing, eating properly, staying warm, being careful at night and more. But most parents forget to teach their youngsters one of the most important lessons of all - financial responsibility. The resulting turmoil can spell disaster for a child's future.

Consider this: The average young adult amasses $45,000 in debt by the time they turn 29, according to a recent PNC Bank report.

"This generation of 20-somethings was raised during an economically-thriving period," says financial expert Mark Hansen, author of Success 101 for Teens (www.success101forteens.com). "Undisciplined spending habits, student and car loans, and a tough job market have stymied their financial growth. Perhaps the worst culprit is financial ignorance, but we can count this as a lesson for future 20-somethings."

For young people, organizing finances can be intimidating to the point of prohibitive, he says.

"We need to have a curriculum in schools, from kindergarten through 12th grade, that ensures our kids graduate with financially literacy," he says. "From balancing a checkbook to understanding what it means to pay - and earn - interest, kids need basic money management skills to survive in the world, and most aren't getting them."

Hansen says all teens should know and practice so they can control their financial destinies:

• Saving for dreams - the three-envelope method: Use the first envelope for your day-to-day expenses: gas or lunch money. Pause before blowing this money at the movie theater or a fast-food restaurant! Envelope No. 2 is for short-term goals, which might be clothing or a new laptop. The third envelope is for long-term goals such as a car, college or a "future millionaire club" fund.

• How to create a budget: A budget lets us know what's possible, and not possible, with money. There are six steps to creating a budget. 1. List all of your expenses. 2. List all income. 3. List monthly expenses. 4. Add up these lists separately. 5. Tweak your budget so you can meet your expenses with money left over for savings. 6. Review your budget every week.

• How to set and follow through on goals: First, figure out what your current finances are, then determine what they will be in the future -- one year out, then two years out, then four years later, etc. How will you get to your one- or two-year goal? You need a plan, and most of the time that means either earning more money, spending less, or a combination of the two. Finally, you have to stick to your plan in order for it to work.

• Understanding interest rates, such as credit cards: Interest is a fee paid for using someone else's money. Simple interest is straightforward: 5 percent accrued in your bank account with $100 yields $5 in interest at the end of the year. Compound interest, however, means ever-increasing amounts. This is crucial to understanding debt you may take on from lenders. Know what you are borrowing, and the terms thereof. Just as your money can work for you in a bank account, money borrowed can work against you if it is not paid back in a timely manner.

• How to write checks and balance a checkbook: These days, it's easier than ever to review accounts online, which automatically tracks exchanges. HOWEVER, banks do make mistakes, which is why it's wise to track your accounts independently. Ask. Don't be embarrassed. Banks are putting a premium on service and want to establish a positive relationship with young customers.  If you have a question, speak to someone at the bank. As you take control of your money, you'll also take control of your life.

About Mark Hansen

A successful businessman, a former Palm Beach County, Fla., elected school board member and motivational speaker, Mark has dedicated his life to helping young people overcome obstacles and deal with the challenges of daily living. Struck by a car and nearly killed as a child, Mark fought back through positive actions and reactions to all that he had to overcome. As a result, he relates to teens in a very special way.  Through books such as, "Success 101 for Teens: Dollars and Sense for a Winning Financial Life," and seminars, Mark Hansen is driven to make an impact on teens and young adults and to empower them to rise above and triumph over life's obstacles.

04 Jun 2012

Why Wait Till Gas Hits $10 a Gallon?

By Ginny Grimsley
Sustainable Energy Expert Details National Plan of Action

There's a lot of moaning and hand-wringing whenever gasoline prices approach $4 a gallon. But all it would take for them to hit $10 a gallon overnight would be hurricanes wiping out a couple of refineries or saboteurs disabling a couple of pipelines, says Dr. R. Paul Williamson, founder and CEO of the non-profit Sustainable Systems of Colorado.

"The United States is still almost completely reliant on finite fossil fuels, which are rapidly being depleted," says Williamson, author of Winning the Energy Wars: A Sustainable Energy Plan for America's Future (www.usa-sep.com). "We should be following a plan now that transitions us to sustainable energy sources but, believe or not, there is no plan."

The country faces oil shortages, international security turmoil and expanding environmental impacts, he says.

"Our entire future hinges on a sustainable energy plan," he says. "A crisis will impact our whole quality of life. It's not just gasoline; petroleum products are used in pharmaceuticals, plastics, things we rely on every day. The time to put together a plan is now - not when we're in crisis."

After studying the details of the nation's looming energy crisis, the former executive director of Hydrogen and Alternative Research and Development for the University of Montana says he's drafted a detailed plan that is systematic, non-threatening and sustainable. Three key features are:

• Abolish the U.S. Department of Energy. Though the 1973 oil crisis led to its creation, the Department of Energy has done nothing to create a sustainable energy plan in its 35 years of existence. Such a strategic plan isn't even a goal. Why? Politics. The big, all-powerful oil companies would not benefit. "To ensure America's security and prosperity'' is the department's stated mission.

• Create a Governors National Sustainable Energy Council. Direct the work of implementing the energy plan to leaders who are already doing that. Thirty of our 50 states have adopted goals for sustainable energy, and some have already achieved them. The council would have a rotating two-year board consisting of two governors from each of five regions, and three at-large governors. Funding from the decommissioned Department of Energy (currently, $25 to $35 billion a year) would be diverted to the council, which would be located in America's Heartland away from Washington, DC.

• Enact legislation to establish funding. Williamson proposes a National Alternative Energy Bond Fund to provide low-interest loans to new and redirected companies; entrepreneurs and other businesses focused on domestic energy development. This could be funded through sales of Alternative Energy Series "AE" bonds, trading stocks or bonds in the market as part of the Invest in America program, and establishing a surcharge of the use of products that use finite energy resources.

"We have enough domestic finite, transitional and sustainable resources to become energy independent and we can do so if we get focused, establish a new leadership paradigm and implement what I call the 'USA Sustainable Energy Plan,' " Williamson says.

What can Americans do - besides their individual efforts to reduce reliance on gas and oil? Williamson suggests taking these steps:

• Call or email our elected officials. Contact your governor, your U.S. representative, your U.S. senators and the president.

• Tell them you support adopting the USA Sustainable Energy Plan. Ask for their support on the three action steps: decommissioning the Department of Energy, creating the governors' council, and creating and funding the alternative energy fund.

• Follow up each week. Reiterate the action items and ask what progress is being made.

For more information on the energy plan, visit www.usa-sep.com.

About R. Paul Williamson

R. Paul Williamson is founder and CEO of the non-profit Sustainable Systems of Colorado. He holds bachelor's degrees in secondary education and communications; master's in curriculum and instruction and media technology, and a doctorate in technology education. He has served as a dean at four colleges including the University of Montana, where he created the Montana Hydrogen Futures Project, a plan incorporating the state's human, natural and renewable resources to create a statewide, hydrogen-based economy. Presently, he is working to create a sustainable future for the US; deployment of a self-sustaining, hydrogen-powered, magnetic levitation personal rapid transit monorail system; a sustainable smart home development; and an H2 Futures Business Park.

30 May 2012

U.S. Paying Needlessly High Cost for Crime, Expert Says

By Ginny Grimsley
Urges Renewed Focus on Rehabilitation

States are spending $52 billion a year on corrections, with one U.S. adult in 31 either incarcerated, on probation, or on parole, according to the Pew Foundation.

The U.S. incarceration rate is by far the highest in the world. Spending on corrections is now the second fastest-growing item in state budgets after Medicaid. It has quadrupled in the past two decades, many say because of a "get tough on crime" approach.

A steady stream of recidivists - returning offenders - is one major drain. As shrinking state budgets demand legislatures to do more with less, scrutiny of the judicial system is increasing.

"It's high time we start attacking this costly problem at its root, rather than issuing petty punitive sentences for small-time, non-violent crimes," says advocate Adam Young, founder of CommunityServiceHelp.com. His organization partners with charities to help people fulfill community service sentences by taking classes instead of picking up litter.

"Here is the question: Do we want to punish small-time crimes, or should we offer rehabilitation for people who are caught in this costly cycle?"

In the mid-1970s there was more emphasis on rehabilitation, he says. Less than a decade before that, California introduced the concept of community service to the United States. It has since been widely accepted throughout the nation as a space-saving, cost-cutting solution. It's time to make community service sentencing more effective, Young says.

"If states really want to save money, they should address recidivism through programs that include education," he says. "It is better for all of us, for both economic and public safety reasons, to help educate people so they can get and maintain jobs."

He cites New Jersey's Female Offender Reentry Group Effort, or FORGE, which became mandatory in Essex County for female parolees in 2006. The program emphasizes legal, job and emotional support, which is particularly helpful for women, experts say.

A four-year study by Rutgers University compared recidivism rates for female parolees who did not experience the program to those who went through FORGE and an additional monthly support group. Only 28 percent of the FORGE graduates returned to prison; nearly half the non-graduates became repeat offenders.

"Citizens become prisoners because they have had trouble integrating with society from the very beginning," Young says. "Prison without rehab and associated educational programs teaches inmates how to deal with hardened criminals, psychopaths, drug addicts and the mentally ill, but not how to be a productive member of society."

States with the most recidivism could each save about $470 million a year by reducing rates by just 10 percent, he says.

There is a nationwide push to privatize prisons, which cuts off state funding for various rehabilitation programs that are understood to generally reduce recidivism, Young says. In addition, crowding in prisons is leading to more attention being paid to simply controlling the population, and less to rehabilitation efforts.

About Adam Young

Adam Young is a longtime internet marketing professional who launched his educational community service alternative in January 2011. He was inspired by a minor brush with the law when he was an 18-year-old; the community service hours he received cost him his job and nearly caused him to drop out of college. Through his website (www.CommunityServiceHelp.com), offenders have logged more than 300,000 hours of self-scheduled schooling that allows them to remain employed while completing service hours. Young advocates education as the most cost-effective tool for rehabilitating offenders.

29 May 2012

Reclaiming the American Dream

By Ginny Grimsley
Expert Calls for 'Economic Disobedience'

The national mood remains anxious, worried.  We have millions of Americans out of work, many of them Baby Boomers who've seen what they worked for these past 30 years disappear:  a predictable career, financial security, home equity, retirement savings. The foundation they've worked so hard to build seems to have collapsed before their very eyes.

"They feel lost. They see hedge-funders and investment bankers as having hijacked the American Dream from the middle class," says Peter Weddle, former CEO of Job Bank USA, Inc., and author of A Multitude of Hope: A Novel About Rediscovering the American Dream (www.AMultitudeofHope.com).

"Boomers - and all working Americans, for that matter - feel as if all of the opportunity has been sucked out of the land of opportunity, and they don't know how or even if they can succeed in this changed world."

But America is still the leader of the global economy and its future is as bright as it ever was, Weddle says. Why? Because Americans are individually prone to innovation and creativity, and collectively, the most diverse pool of workers in the world, he says.

"For all the unresolved immigration issues we have in the United States, we still have the best workforce on the planet.  Our diversity gives us a huge advantage over the competition in the global economy," Weddle says. "We have every kind of talent the world has to offer, while other countries such as China, India and Japan have very homogenous cultures so everyone basically brings the same talent to the table."

That talent, however, is being wasted.  The U.S. workplace has become an investor-driven market, a place where workers are treated as disposable cogs who are costs to be minimized rather than capabilities to be maximized on-the-job, Weddle says. The only way out, therefore, is something he calls "economic disobedience."  If every American stands up and demands their right to be employed as a person of talent - and if they then elevate that talent and bring it to work with them - they can reclaim the American Dream, Weddle says.

He sees Baby Boomers already beginning to do this. The number of 50- to 64-year-olds enrolled in college jumped 17 percent from 2007 to 2009, according to the National Center for Education Statistics.

"These are the people who see this time as a moment of liberation - a chance to reinvigorate their talent so they can perform at their peak on-the-job," Weddle says. "And that self-reliance and individual determination is how our country will recapture its mojo."

A national human resources expert, Weddle says people don't necessarily have to go back to school or reinvent themselves. But they do need to identify their talent - their innate capacity for excellence - and take a proactive approach to integrating it into their career.

"It may be a gift for getting things organized, for resolving conflicts, for explaining complex topics in simple terms," he says. "Every single one of us has a talent and when we apply it at work, our job satisfaction - and our pay - goes up.

"Instead of work being a four-letter word, it becomes something to get excited about and to feel good about. We rekindle our self-confidence, self-respect and determination and we produce an economic revolution that restores democratic capitalism."

About Peter Weddle

Peter Weddle, a former recruiter and human resource consultant, is the CEO of the International Association of Employment Web Sites, a trade organization. He has written or edited more than two dozen non-fiction books regarding careers and employment; "A Multitude of Hope" is his first work of fiction. Weddle is the founder and former CEO of Job Bank USA, Inc., one of the largest electronic employment services companies in the United States.

29 May 2012

Is The Bible The Ultimate Financial Guide?

By Ginny Grimsley

Financial how-to books come and go - they're published by the hundreds every year. But Peter Grandich, dubbed "The Wall Street Whiz Kid" by Good Morning America's Steve Crowley, says the one he relies on has been around for nearly 2,000 years.

"I get my financial guidance from the Bible," says Grandich, author of Confessions of a Wall Street Whiz Kid (www.confessionsofawallstreetwhizkid.com). "Money and possessions are the second most referenced topic in the Bible - money is mentioned more than 800 times - and the message is clear: Nowhere in Scripture is debt viewed in a positive way."

Grandich, who says his years as a highly successful Wall Street stockbroker left him spiritually depleted and clinically depressed, says the Bible is an excellent financial adviser, whether or not you're religious.

"The writers of the Bible anticipated the problems we would have with money and possessions; there are more than 2,000 references," he says. "Our whole culture now is built on the premise that we have to have more money and more stuff to feel happy and secure. Public storage is the poster child for what's wrong with America. We have too much stuff because we've bought into the myth fabricated by Wall Street and Madison Avenue that more stuff equals more happiness."  He adds, "That's the total opposite of the truth, and the opposite of what it says in The Bible."

What's Grandich's No. 1 most important biblical rule of finance? "God owns everything. You may have bought that house, but He gave you the money to buy it, so it's His."

Some other lessons from the ultimate financial guide?

• Do put money aside for investing: "One of the most revealing parables is Jesus' story about a wealthy master who left three servants in charge of his financial affairs when he went away on a long journey," Grandich says. "When he returned, two of the servants had multiplied the coins for which they were responsible. The third buried his to keep it safe." That last servant ended up out on his ear. The story is a lesson: We must invest our money - and invest wisely.

• Debt's not prohibited, but it should be avoided: The Bible clearly warns that the borrower will be a servant to the lender, but it also instructs us to lend money. That suggests that there are times when it's OK to borrow, but it should not become a way of life. The Bible also instructs us to repay what we've borrowed.

• The more you make, the more you should give: This is a hard one for people caught up in buying bigger and better things, but there are numerous references to charitable giving. The Bible says that it's quite all right to buy the bigger house - but the more you make and spend on yourself, the more you need to give to others. That doesn't include tithing, another very clear demand: God expects you to give 10 percent of your wealth to your place of worship.

• Don't focus on acquiring possessions: There are many, many warnings that accumulating stuff is dangerous. Material things are fleeting and they'll do you no good in the long run. What you put your effort into, that's where your heart will be, Grandich says.

About Peter Grandich

Peter Grandich became renowned in the financial industry when he predicted market crashes and rebounds in The Grandich Letter, a newsletter he created in 1984. It's currently a blog featuring his commentary on the world's economies and financial markets as well as social and political topics. Grandich is co-founder, with former New York Giants player Lee Rouson, of Trinity Financial Sports & Entertainment Management Co., a firm that specializes in offering guidance from a Christian perspective to professional athletes and celebrities.

23 May 2012

Kids Help Create Program to End Bullying

By Ginny Grimsley
'I Choose' Starter Kits Available Free to Schools And Communities

A new youth-driven campaign aims to end bullying where it begins: with kids and the choices they make.

"I Choose" (www.WhatDoYouChoose.org), available free to schools and communities, asks children and teens to adopt and embrace one of five words representing powerful social concepts: friendship, kindness, respect, compassion, love. In teacher-guided discussions, they analyze the meaning of their word and then strive to use it in daily interactions. When confronted with a choice involving peer relationships, they're asked to choose their word to put into action.

A Lance Armstrong "Livestrong"-style bracelet imprinted with "I choose (their word)" serves as both a reminder and a message to others.

"'I Choose' was developed with the help of the youth community at Yoursphere.com (kids-only social networking site). We asked who they thought could end bullying and 98 percent of respondents said 'kids can,' " says Mary Kay Hoal, the website's founder and president. "When we asked about the choices they thought would be effective in helping them end bullying, they chose these five."

The education initiative is the first for Yoursphere's non-profit arm, The Yoursphere Media Foundation and Coalition for Internet Safety Education and Reform (FCISER).

"Bullying is a global issue and cyber-bullying is at an all-time high," says Hoal, an Internet safety expert. "Unfortunately, a lack of funding and awareness has left many schools and communities without a solid bullying education program."

School and community representatives can apply for a free Anti-Bullying Challenge Starter Kit at WhatDoYouChoose.org. They'll receive an information packet, poster ("Bullying is a choice") and the "I Choose" bracelets.

"After the initial implementation of the challenge, we tell teachers and youth group leaders to periodically follow up with their students to analyze the impact that the program is having in their life at school and at home", Hoal says. "Have the students noticed a shift in the school or classroom culture? Did they stand up for someone they normally wouldn't have? This follow-through can be very empowering because it not only reinforces the fact that their choices matter, but it proves to the students that they can have a real impact."

The need is made painfully clear at the whatdoyouchoose website, where students can share stories and videos about their own experiences with bullying.

Maddie, 15, remembers bullies starting to leave nasty notes in her locker and binder when she was in seventh grade. They called her "fat,""ugly,""worthless." It got worse the following year, she writes.

"I started to believe them. ... So I stopped eating, not completely but to the point where I would eat so little a day, I was very very light-headed and sick by the end of the school day. ...I started wearing more makeup than I already was wearing and I was just a mess," she writes.

"To try to forget about the hurt and pain those people caused me, I turned to cutting myself. Not a good idea. I never told my parents because they were in the middle of getting divorced."

Maddie's doing better now, she writes, but the experience taught her how intensely painful and isolating life is for the victims of bullies.

Adults and children who've already chosen their words also have a place to share on the site. Nine-year-old Gladys chose kindness.

"I choose Kindness because it's like Love. Love shows up when Kindness comes around. So Kindness is like niceness and Love merged together," she writes.

"It's also like Friendship. If you're kind, people want to be your friend, right? ... It's also like Respect. ... If you're showing Respect, that is a sign of Kindness. And last, it's Compassion. If you're helping others, isn't that showing Kindness? Friendship, Respect, Love, and Compassion, ALL started with Kindness."

It's that kind of critical thinking that helps children remember they have a choice - and that with their choices they have the power to change people, Hoal says.

"'I Choose' is an important reminder to children that their choices do matter," Hoal says. "We want them to stop, think and remember."

About Mary Kay Hoal

Mary Kay Hoal is a nationally recognized Internet safety expert who provides technology tools and tips for parents at www.YoursphereForParents.com. She's the founder and president of www.Yoursphere.com, a social network site for ages up to 17 and social media outlet for youth-oriented organizations. Yoursphere Media Foundation and Coalition for Internet Safety Education and Reform is the website's charity arm. The 'I Choose' Anti-Bullying Challenge is its first education initiative.

23 May 2012

Finding Heaven at Home

By Ginny Grimsley
Biblical Scholar Offers Tips for Believers & Non-Believers

Americans believe in heaven -- since 1997, the numbers have fluctuated from 72 to 80 percent, according to Gallup polls.

But what is heaven and what does it look like?

"Too often the popular idea of heaven is a place where you'll have nothing to do but tell a jealous God how good he is over and over for all eternity?and that wouldn't be much better than hell," says Charlie Webster, former senior engineer for NASA, Bible scholar and author of Revitalizing Christianity (www.NewCenturyMinistries.com).

"That's not Jesus' picture of heaven," he says.

Heaven will be a place with exciting challenges against a background of caring love from everyone and to everyone.

"But you don't have to wait 'til you die to experience some of the most important benefits of heaven," Webster says. "Anyone can create a real foretaste of heaven wherever they are. And you don't even have to believe in God to experience part of this?though it certainly works better if you let God help you."

"Caring about and helping with the needs and pains of others brings real joy," Webster says.

It's the same thing Jesus said two millennia ago: When you focus on yourself, you are the only one interested in helping you, he says.

"Even in places of worship, most folks are asking, 'What can God do for me?' instead of 'What could I do to make this world the caring place God wants it to be?'"

Here are three ways Webster says anybody, regardless of creed, can get a taste of heaven here on Earth:

· Forgiveness: When you forgive a hurt or transgression, there's a great sense of relief?a weight has been lifted. Animosity eats at the bearer. But how to forgive? It takes both faith and sympathy ? "faith that if the transgression needs to be punished, it will be, and sympathy because you can't know what caused someone to anger you," Webster says. "Take a road-rage scenario?some speeding motorist almost kills you. Your immediate reaction is anger. But do you know the reasons behind his risky driving? Maybe it's just that he thinks everybody should get out of his way. God will deal with that. But maybe he's responding to a genuine emergency that you might have handled the same way. If you turn the matter over to God, you can arrive home stress-free. Better yet, offer a prayer for the offender. Whatever the cause, he needs prayer.

· Helping Others: Rather than stressing over time, money and travel logistics for a vacation focused on pampering yourself, Charlie suggests helping others in the form of a mission trip -- an all-around win. Volunteers often see a new part of the world; but more importantly they come home with wonderful new friends and the knowledge that they've made the world a better place. And you can usually find a trip that's already planned and priced at reduced rates. When your mission vacation is over, you'll truly be recharged and refreshed and you'll have memories you could never get on a vacation focused on yourself.

· Having a Marriage that Works: By far the best marriages are the ones in which couples have asked themselves "how can I make his/her life better" rather than saying "I want him/her because he/she satisfies my needs." Such marriages almost never end in divorce, Webster says. "Even couples who never go through a ceremony can experience this. God never demanded a ceremony?he demands the unselfish love that he knows will bring us true joy."

"In the end heaven is really more about relationships than where you are," Webster says. "It's not fluffy clouds, scratchy robes, and awkward wings. The heaven Jesus taught about is an active life in an environment of unselfish caring ? the kind of environment that builds strong bonds."

"If you accept that the after-life taught by Jesus is real, then doing this in your daily life prepares you for an eternity of ever-greater joy. It's a life of unselfish caring that brings the kind of joy that will make heaven, heaven."

About Charlie Webster

As an engineer, Charlie Webster headed NASA projects for several years; as a Bible scholar, he has taught biblical studies at the college level. Webster has a son and daughter, and was widowed in 1999. He has been happily remarried since 2000.

23 May 2012

Family Vacation Tips

By Ginny Grimsley

Family Time, Unplugged & Outdoors: Memories are Made on Vacations; Tips for the Road

Don't worry about record-breaking gas prices - the U.S. Energy Information Administration estimates prices to be $3.79 a gallon this summer, less than in 2008.

That's good news for families considering reviving the tradition of a road trip vacation, one of the best experiences parents and kids can share, says Michael DiLorenzo, author of Adventures with Jonny: Road Trip to the Parks! (www.adventureswithjonny.com).

"This is a shared experience, and one that will be talked about during family gatherings for years to come," says DiLorenzo, a father of three. "For busy parents, this is a time to savor their children's youth. As moms and dads eventually find out, they grow up fast."

It's also a chance to get children outside and away from their computers, he says. Children today already have a deep-rooted interest in technology, which is why a road trip to a natural, outdoor destination is an opportunity to "give your child the gift of the outdoors, which is a gift for life," says DiLorenzo.

The journey to a national park in the United States or Canada - perhaps Yellowstone in Wyoming or Banff in Alberta - is as bonding an experience as whatever happens at the destination.

"And there are parks in every state," he notes. "If you don't have the time or money to go cross country, pick a park closer to home."

DiLorenzo offers these helpful tips for the road:

• Games, games, games!: Yes, there is ample entertainment for both drivers and riders in cars these days. BUT, the goal is to bond with the family, so consider a fun, albeit off-color game like "Road Kill Round-Up." A point system might break down like this: two points for the first to spot a poor critter; three for whoever first correctly identifies the species; two points subtracted for a false road-kill call; three points subtracted for misidentifying the kind.

• Beware of dairy drinks (and other smelly snacks): A spill in the backseat can eventually create quite a stink during a summer road trip. But do pack plenty of  healthy snacks to save on pricey pit stops and avoid all the sugar and salt in junk food.

• Avoid big-city rush hours: When traveling through metropolitan areas, consider the busiest traffic periods. Whether you plan to stop and check out the city or simply zip through it, bumper-to-bumper traffic is something to avoid. A bit of consideration can save your family hours of grid-locked misery.

• Tech help: Various apps and websites can help drivers find the cheapest gas prices, food options, hotel rates and travel routes. Also, don't forget a music mix that appeals to the entire family on one of these devices. (Remember, leave work at home - forget about work-related calls, texts and emails! Use a non-work-related smartphone, if needed.)

• Schedule pit stops: Being in a hurry should be left for the morning commute; vacation should be different. When traveling across states and provinces, consider local culture. For example, barbecue in South Carolina is very different from Missouri's version. Enjoy diners and unique attractions, and don't be afraid to take notes.

"The greatest family memories are created in shared adventure," DiLorenzo says. "Outdoor recreation is filled with these memories just looking for a family to bring them home."

About Michael A. DiLorenzo

Michael A. DiLorenzo is a married father of three living in the outdoor-rich environs of Michigan. He created the "Adventures with Jonny" series to entertain and educate children (and parents!) about the activities available in the great outdoors.

23 May 2012

Love Like Kids - Act Like Adults

By Ginny Grimsley
Some of the Hottest Couples are Doing It - Couple Offers Tips for Love and Happiness (Hint: Fun Matters)

Barack and Michelle do it. Brad and Angelina do it. John and Yoko did it. How?

As the divorce rate hovers near an estimated 50 percent in the United States, many blame career stress as a major cause of separations. But somehow some couples grow stronger, especially when they work together.

One couple who have worked together for nearly a decade in the stressful world of theater, producing Off-Broadway plays, has decided to share their secrets.

"In part, it is because we work together that our bond has strengthened after 10 years of marriage," says Jamillah Lamb, co-author along with her husband, David, of "Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving Together" (www.acoupleoflambs.com).

The couple has worked together professionally in their stage company, Between The Lines Productions, Inc., for nine years. But the Lambs say even couples who aren't business partners are working together every day; because being in any relationship requires negotiating, compromising, and decision-making. Just think about the last time you had to decide whose mother's house you were going to for Christmas or where you were going to go for vacation or even which movie you were going to see last weekend.

"We get more opportunity to grow together because, between home and work, we're making 100 decisions a day instead of 10," Jamillah says.

The couple live by their guiding rule, "Love like kids, act like adults."

"That means to love freely and completely, without a fortress around your heart, and behave responsibly," David says.

A crucial ingredient for any successful marriage is friendship, the Lambs say. Here are some of their tips:

• Enjoy life: Some couples won't go to theme parks until they have children. But letting one's inner child out to play with their partner's inner child strengthens a relationship's bond.

• Forgive the small stuff: No one is always right, and no one wants to be around someone who always needs to be right.

• Appreciate individuality: Everyone needs to have their own identity, including those in a long-term relationship and couples who work together. David enjoys his comic book collection, while Jamillah keeps a library of romance novels.

• Do not misdirect anger: In psychology, it's called transference; dumping your bad day on someone else. It is poison for any relationship.

• Remember your love: Couples may fight, but guard what you say. There's no need for ugliness even when you disagree.

Couples need to remember relationships take work, but they can also be a blast of fun, David says.

"Love is worth the sacrifice," they agree. "Today, with stories of celebrity couples walking away after only days of marriage and even more people living as though sacrifice is nearly a curse word, we say: 'It's worth the sacrifice.' For us, it means that we are willing to give up something that we thought was valuable or important for something even more important: love and our happiness."

Love is, in part, the acknowledgement and deep appreciation for another human being, Jamillah says.

"Couples should never take each other for granted," she advises. "In love, as in business, everyone wants to be appreciated. The simplest gesture can go a long way to help your significant other feel like they are making a significant contribution to your life, your family, or your business."

About David & Jamillah Lamb

David and Jamillah Lamb have been married for 10 years. They founded and have run Between The Lines Productions, Inc. since 2003. Born and raised in Queens, N.Y., David attended the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University and New York University School of Law. He is the playwright of "Platanos y Collard Greens." Jamillah Lamb grew up in the same Chicago neighborhood as first lady Michelle Obama. She earned her master's degree in public policy at Harvard. Together they wrote "Perfect Combination: Seven Key Ingredients to Happily Living & Loving" to share what they have learned as successful partners in love and in business.They live in Brooklyn with their daughter.

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