09 Aug 2009

Bon Appétit!: "Julie & Julia" and "(500) Days of Summer"

By Mike Schulz

Stanley Tucci and Meryl Streep in Julie & JuliaJULIE & JULIA

I'm not necessarily as confident about this prediction as I was when Heath Ledger's Joker arrived last summer, but if Meryl Streep doesn't win an Oscar for Julie & Julia, I'll eat my hat. God knows, after the seeing the movie, I was dying to eat something. A saliva-inducing comedy of gastronomic pleasures, writer/director Nora Ephron's latest is a buoyant and ceaselessly watchable celebration of food and the people who love it, and it offers an utterly sensational performance by Streep, who plays legendary chef Julia Child as a resplendently happy woman who would hungrily devour the entire world if she could.

09 Aug 2009

Joe Blow(s): "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" and "A Perfect Getaway"

By Mike Schulz

Sienna Miller in G.I. Joe: The Rise of CobraG.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA

Anticipating that the movie would suck, a friend extended a challenge prior to my screening of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: Try making it through the whole movie without thinking of Team America: World Police.

03 Aug 2009

Bombs Away: "Funny People," "The Hurt Locker," and "G-Force"

By Mike Schulz

Adam Sandler and Leslie Mann in Funny PeopleFUNNY PEOPLE

Leslie Mann, the wife of comedy kingpin Judd Apatow, is unfailingly awesome, and I love her in her husband's first two outings as a film writer/director: 2005's The 40-Year-Old Virgin and 2007's Knocked Up. So it pains me to say that I would've enjoyed Apatow's third auteurist venture - the current Funny People - a whole lot more if Mann's character had been excised from it completely. Of course, that would've made the movie almost a full hour shorter than it is. That would've been all right, too.

27 Jul 2009

Child Labor: "Orphan" and "The Ugly Truth"

By Mike Schulz

Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman, and Vera Farmiga in OrphanORPHAN

Director Jaume Collet-Serra's Orphan features that most indestructible and, oftentimes, luridly enjoyable of horror-flick staples - the psychopathic prepubescent - and would probably be a lot of fun if it wasn't so relentlessly unpleasant and stupid. Those of us who've been known to get a kick out of these Omen-esque outings will probably give the movie the benefit of the doubt for far longer than it deserves. But for all of its effective jolts and expert acting, Orphan is so frustratingly illogical that it trashes whatever goodwill you extend toward it, and the experience is too unremittingly dour and punishing to be any kind of not-so-guilty pleasure. (One of the friends I saw the film with left the auditorium saying, "I need a shower now." Get in line, pal.)

17 Jul 2009

Hogwarts and All: "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince"

By Mike Schulz

HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

Excepting director Alfonso Cuarón's Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban, I haven't been terribly crazy about the film adaptations of J.K. Rowling's books. But here's something that I absolutely do adore: seeing these movies in a crowded theater on opening day.

12 Jul 2009

Amüsing Enüf: "Brüno," "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs," and "I Love You, Beth Cooper"

By Mike Schulz

Sacha Baron Cohen in BrünoBRÜNO

Returning with a comedy in a vein similar, re-e-e-eally similar, to that of their 2006 smash Borat, director Larry Charles and co-writer/star Sacha Baron Cohen now present us with Brüno, another mock-doc based on one of Cohen's famed Da Ali G Show characters. With a storyline that you can easily summarize in three words - Borat gone gay - it's the pair's latest attempt to shock the masses into spasms of outrage and gales of uncontrollable laughter, and I'll readily admit that the movie is pretty funny, and sometimes awfully funny.

03 Jul 2009

Charmed and Dangerous: "Public Enemies," "Away We Go," and "My Sister's Keeper"

By Mike Schulz

Johnny Depp in Public EnemiesPUBLIC ENEMIES

With a low-key yet intensely charismatic Johnny Depp as its lead, you could describe Michael Mann's Public Enemies as the story behind the criminal activity of the infamous, Depression-era bank robber John Dillinger. But that's not entirely accurate. The film is also about the nascent, frequently misguided authority of the FBI, personified here by a stalwart agent (a somber, less-throaty-than-usual Christian Bale) and showboating chief J. Edgar Hoover (a spectacular Billy Crudup). It's also about early media saturation in our country, and the public's complicity in turning villains into heroes, and the labyrinthine hierarchies among American gangsters, and - as embodied by a dazzlingly desirable and powerful Marion Cotillard - the ever-unpredictable nature of love. And, more than anything, it's about the exquisite craftsmanship of Michael Mann, whose Public Enemies doesn't look or sound quite like any other crime movie you've seen, and whose technical virtuosity might make Public Enemies impossible to forget.

26 Jun 2009

Sittin' at the Dreck of the Bay: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

By Mike Schulz

Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf in Transformers: Revenge of the FallenWithin the first minute of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, it'll be pretty apparent that the movie wasn't exactly designed for (or by) Mensa members, as a title card shows the military time in China to be 22:14 hours, and the sun is still up. It'll quickly be even more apparent, when the prelude's autobot narrator mispronounces "refuge." But heaven knows we're not expecting braininess from a Michael Bay-directed action sequel based on a line of Hasbro action figures; if the effects are sufficiently awesome and there's a good joke now and again -- which pretty much sums up Bay's original, 2007 Transformers -- nearly any other irritant could be easily forgiven.

21 Jun 2009

... And They All Lived Wealthily Ever After: "The Proposal" and "Year One"

By Mike Schulz

Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds in The ProposalTHE PROPOSAL

"All right, you've got five minutes to sell me your pitch. Go."

"Well, it's a romantic comedy - I'm thinking about calling it The Proposal - and it's about this bitchy, selfish book editor in Manhattan who learns deeper values and becomes a better person after falling in love with her assistant."

"That doesn't sound very funny."

14 Jun 2009

Subway Training Day: "The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3" and "Imagine That"

By Mike Schulz

Denzel Washington in The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3

Set in modern-day New York City, director Tony Scott's action-thriller The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 finds Denzel Washington playing transit-authority executive Walter Garber, a conscientious worker and devoted family man accused of accepting bribes, and consequently - 799 WORDS TO GO!!! - demoted to the rank of dispatcher. One afternoon, while monitoring routine subway transport, Garber notices an irregular stop made by one particular train, and attempts to make radio contact with its motorman. Instead, he makes contact with the train's hijacker, a tattooed psychopath who calls himself Ryder, and - 751 WORDS TO GO!!! - is played by John Travolta. Ordering Garber to secure a ransom of $10 million, Ryder insists that he'll begin shooting passengers if his demands aren't met, and given an hour to procure the money, Garber, a hostage negotiator (John Turturro), and the city's mayor (James Gandolfini) unite to stop the - 700 WORDS TO GO!!! - madman from ... .

Oh, I'm sorry, are those interruptions irritating? Well, you'd better get used to it - gripping and entertaining though it mostly is, Scott's movie oftentimes feels like the cinematic equivalent of that opening paragraph.

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