New Study Finds We're Suffering a National Friendship Crisis

 

Most Americans (75 percent!) are not satisfied with their friendships; 63 percent lack confidence in even their closest friends; and almost half of us would choose to have deeper friendships rather than more friends.

Those are the findings of a new study, The State of Friendship in America 2013, by Lifeboat Friends at Their Best and Sea Change Strategies and Edge Research.

"Strong, trusting friendships are crucial to our sense of peace, happiness and well-being," says Dawna Hetzler, a speaker, women's mentor (and mentoree), and author of the new book, "Walls of a Warrior: Conquering the Fears of Our Hearts" (www.DawnaHetzler.com).

"But many of us, women in particular, build so many walls around our hearts to protect ourselves, we can never open ourselves to all the possible relationships we could have. Or, we do allow some people in, but we keep them at arm's length."

Strong friendships do make us happier, according to the new study. Forty-nine percent of people with seven or more close friends strongly agreed that they feel happy most of the time, while only 24 percent of people with just one good friend, and 19 percent with no friends, could say the same.

"You have to know and trust a person before you allow them into your heart, because when you open yourself up, you become vulnerable," says Hetzler. "We all build walls to protect ourselves from hurt, fear, rejection, disapproval and other painful emotions, and that's natural. Some walls are healthy. But the invisible walls we're often not even aware of prevent us from experiencing the honest, real relationships that can benefit us in so many ways."

Hetzler shares some of what she learned working with Jericho Girls, the women's group she founded that focuses on dismantling unhealthy walls:

• First, identify the walls you have. We build walls in response to many things - real and perceived threats, fears, conditioning, rejection, Hetzler says. Many of us put up walls to hide our weaknesses; if you have trouble asking for help, this may be you! Jericho Girls members learned that acknowledging and being honest about their weaknesses allowed them to grow stronger. And that asking for help from friends offers those friends the gratification of giving. Making a list of your walls and understanding why they're there is a good place to start the process.

• If the wall is unhealthy, identify the steps necessary to dismantle it. Sometimes we erect walls to protect ourselves from ourselves, Hetzler notes. "One of my walls revolved around being needed too much," she says. "I tend to take on a lot, then exhaust myself getting it all done." She realized she built a wall to prevent people from seeing that she really cannot do it all, and she pushed away those she feared might demand too much of her time and energy. She dealt with that wall by setting limits with herself and others. "I say no when I need to, which allows me to build friendships instead of pushing people away."

• Arm yourself with words of inspiration. Powerful words help when we need positive reinforcement or reassurance when the way ahead looks scary. Hetzler has found that calling upon a quotation that she believes in provides both. "Write down the quotes, Bible verses or other inspiration that have great meaning for you," she says. Each day, read one, reflect upon the meaning, pray or meditate, and contemplate the message it holds for you. "These words will stick with you, and you'll have them to call upon when you need them," she says.

Creating deeper, honest friendships begins with opening our hearts to others, Hetzler says.

"When you begin taking down the walls, you'll find you're more at peace with yourself," she says. "And that allows you to develop the wonderful relationships that come from trust and sharing."

About Dawna Hetzler: Dawna Hetzler owns a real estate firm and is an author and speaker focusing on women's connection groups and retreats. She's also a Bible study teacher and speaker for Stonecroft Ministries. She wrote "Walls of Warriors" based on her experiences with Jericho Girls - a group of women who meets to discuss the walls they build around their hearts that inhibit relationships with others.

(DES MOINES) - Iowa Gov. Terry E. Branstad today announced he is donating 100 pounds of Iowa ham to the Food Bank of Iowa in Des Moines, Iowa, and 100 pounds of Iowa ham to Grace Place Ministries soup kitchen in Monroe, Louisiana.

The donation comes after a friendly wager with Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on the 2014 Outback Bowl, which featured the Iowa Hawkeyes and the Louisiana State University (LSU) Tigers. If the LSU Tigers beat the Iowa Hawkeyes, Gov. Branstad was to donate 100 pounds of Iowa pork to a Louisiana food bank and another 100 pounds of Iowa pork to an Iowa food bank.  LSU beat Iowa 21-14 on January 1, 2014.

"I'm proud of the season the Iowa Hawkeyes had and for their tremendous effort in the Outback Bowl against Louisiana State University," said Branstad. "I'm pleased today to donate Iowa pork to two fine organizations that help feed the hungry in local communities. I would also like to thank The Deb & Jeff Hansen Iowa Select Farms Foundation for their generosity in donating the pork for this friendly wager."

The Iowa ham will be delivered to the organizations by Iowa Select Farms.

"A core mission of the Deb and Jeff Hansen Foundation is hunger relief which is why we were glad to support Governor Branstad with his friendly wager," said Jeff Hansen, President and CEO of Iowa Select Farms and co-founder of the Foundation. "We're happy to be able to donate hams to both organizations in an effort to help both Iowa and Louisiana families in need."

Iowa taxpayer dollars were not used for the friendly wager between Gov. Branstad and Gov. Jindal.

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Iowa Select Farms, based in Iowa Falls, is Iowa's largest pork producer with nearly 1,000 employees and 300 producers in Iowa. The owners of Iowa Select established the Deb and Jeff Hansen Foundation in 2006. Providing hunger relief for Iowans is one of the core missions of the Foundation, which to date has donated more than 1.5 million servings of pork to food banks, pantries and shelves across Iowa.

MOLINE, Ill. - No matter where you're from or where you've been, everyone is special - so join in! Elmo, Grover, Abby Cadabby, and their Sesame Street friends welcome Chamki, Grover's friend from India, to Sesame Street. Together, they explore the universal fun of friendship and celebrate cultural similarities, from singing and dancing, to sharing cookies! The all-new Sesame Street Live "Make a New Friend" visits iWireless Center on Thursday, March 13. Tickets for the performance are on sale now!

Chamki is from far away and she's visiting Sesame Street for just one day! Grover has a long to-do list for his friend, from kayaking to hot yoga, but Chamki is busy enjoying cookies with Cookie Monster, singing with Abby Cadabby, and doing 'The Elmo Slide.' Will an appearance from Super Grover get Chamki's attention? Join the fun and make a memory with your friends and family!

Sesame Street Live "Make a New Friend" offers a fun-filled, interactive learning experience, including up-close and furry interactions on the audience floor! Like television's Sesame Street, each Sesame Street Live production features timeless tunes and lessons for all ages. The universal appeal of each Broadway-quality musical production continues long after preschool. Adults will appreciate the high-tech stagecraft, cleverly written script, and music they'll recognize and enjoy sharing with children, such as "Count Me In," and fun new parodies of "Hot and Cold," and "Moves Like Jagger."

Second Mallard This Week to Sign P.T.O. with Iowa Wild

MOLINE, Ill. (January 8, 2014) - Quad City Mallards forward Jim McKenzie has joined the American Hockey League's Iowa Wild on a professional tryout agreement, the Mallards announced today.

McKenzie, 29, is tied for the Mallard team lead in goals (11) and points (24) and leads the club in power play goals (4) and penalty minutes (67).  The St. Paul, Minnesota, native serves as an alternate captain and has registered a plus/minus rating of +3 while playing in each of the Mallards' first 28 games.  McKenzie was in the midst of a five-game point-scoring streak (2-4-6) at the time of his call-up.

McKenzie joins defenseman Nicholas Rioux as the second Mallard in three days to sign a P.T.O. with Iowa.  He is the fourth Mallard to be called up this season.  Goaltenders Thomas Heemskerk (Iowa) and Ty Rimmer (Oklahoma City) have also both spent time in the AHL.

McKenzie, who was originally selected by the Ottawa Senators in the fifth round of the 2004 National Hockey League Entry Draft with the one hundred forty-first overall choice, is no stranger to the AHL.  He spent part of each of his first four professional seasons in the league, skating in a total of 67 AHL games and registering four goals and five assists for the Binghampton Senators, Lake Erie Monsters, Worcester Sharks and Peoria Rivermen.  McKenzie last saw AHL action in 2010-11 with Worcester and Peoria.  He spent the 2008-09 season with Binghampton, collecting five points in 44 games.

The 6' 2", 200-pound McKenzie joined the Mallards after helping the Allen Americans to the CHL President's Cup title last spring.  McKenzie arrived in Allen for the stretch run of the regular season after beginning the campaign with the ECHL's Evansville IceMen.  He notched two goals and two assists in 15 regular season games with the Americans before breaking loose for six goals and 13 points in 15 playoff games.  He recorded a goal and five assists in 12 games with the IceMen before heading to the Lone Star State.  Last year's stint was McKenzie's second with Allen.  In 2011-12, he scored twenty goals and totaled 44 points while piling up 168 penalty minutes in 54 games as an American.  The IceMen were McKenzie's fourth ECHL club.  He previously played for the Elmira Jackals, Johnstown Chiefs and Stockton Thunder.

McKenzie turned pro after three seasons at Michigan State, where he scored 34 goals and recorded 76 points in 112 games.  In 2006-07, McKenzie capped off his college career by scoring a dozen goals and producing 30 points in 35 games while helping propel the Spartans to the NCAA title.  McKenzie spent three seasons in the junior ranks with the Green Bay Gamblers and Sioux Falls Stampede of the United States Hockey League before arriving in East Lansing.

The Mallards return to action on home ice tonight at 7:05 p.m. against the Brampton Beast.  That game is the Mallards' first Winning Wednesday presented by T.G.I. Friday's.  If the Mallards win a Wednesday night home game all in attendance win free tickets for the next Wednesday game.  In addition, $2 beer and hot dogs will be available during Wednesday night tilts.  After each Wednesday night game, fans can join the Mallards for a postgame party at T.G.I. Friday's next to the iWireless Center.

Tickets for tonight's game and all Mallards regular season home games can be purchased at the iWireless Center ticket office, Ticketmaster outlets, through ticketmaster.com or through Ticketmaster charge-by-phone toll free at 1-800-745-3000.  The ticket office is open weekdays from 10:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., on Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. and on game days from 10:00 a.m. until the start of the second period.