GANZ ROAD TRIP

By: Richard E. Kelly

The January 15th issue of The Watchtower magazine leaves no doubt about how Jehovah's Witnesses should treat family members who have been "disfellowshipped," or ex-communicated, from the religion.

"Really, what your beloved family member needs to see is your resolute stance to put Jehovah above everything else - including the family bond," warns the magazine on page 16, before asserting, "Do not look for excuses to associate with a disfellowshipped family member, for example, through e-mail."

Jehovah's Witness is not the only religion that calls upon its followers to ostracize anyone who leaves the faith. Described as psychological torture by University of California-Davis Professor Almerindo E. Ojeda, such social rejection is used in the United States by Anabaptists (the Amish, Mennonites, Hutterites), Scientology, and the Baha'i Faith, among others. Some contemporary evangelical Protestant churches have renewed the practice of shunning, as in the case of a 71-year-old former Sunday school teacher who was arrested on trespassing charges after questioning her pastor's authority.

The practice can have devastating consequences.

In 2011, Eric Reeder was disfellowshipped from the Jehovah's Witnesses after sustaining injuries in a motorcycle accident that led to a blood transfusion - a medical treatment prohibited by the religion.  His family subsequently shunned him in accordance with the faith's rules.

Eric posted about his predicament in an online forum for ex-Witnesses in August of that year, admitting, "The only thing I am really going to miss is my folks ... my dad is a hardcore elder and has told me he will no longer be able to speak to me 100% of the time."

In April 2012 he wrote that he was "still not used to my parents totally shunning me ..." before adding, "It's so hard ... nobody should have to lose their parents twice."

By the end of September, Eric was found dead at age 51. He had killed himself.

Nobody can be certain what dark thoughts were swirling through Eric's mind when he took his own life, or what finally drove him to such a desperate act. But we do know that in the preceding months, Eric was deeply tormented by the ostracism inflicted on him by members of his family.

While The Watchtower Society, the name of the legal entity used by Jehovah's Witnesses, proudly publishes annual statistics related to its worldwide evangelism work, there are no official figures for those who are shunned, and no way to confirm how many of these former members, like Eric, feel desperate enough to take their own lives. However, one can find a great deal of anecdotal evidence on Internet forums frequented by Ex-Witnesses. One well-known researcher, Terri O'Sullivan, reported that being shunned worsens one's mood within 60 seconds.

In the absence of any popular or political impetus to address the issue of religion-incited shunning, I am proud to be part of an organization that dares to face it head on. Advocates for Awareness of Watchtower Abuses (AAWA) has been established to educate the world via its website (www.aawa.co) about some of Watchtower's most shocking practices.

While these are often pardoned in the name of religious freedom, there are instances where governments have successfully sanctioned extreme shunning:

"The Jewish tradition frequently confronted this issue in the many Eastern European communities where the government outlawed the use of excommunication and shunning. Not surprisingly, when confronted with significant governmentally imposed sanctions against this practice, the Jewish authorities ceased using exclusion as a method of community formation or maintenance," states an article by Michael J. Broyde, academic director of Emory University's Law and Religion Program.

My colleagues and I believe that the shunning of relatives and friends represents mental and emotional abuse. Modern society must no longer allow Watchtower to promote this barbarous practice through printed word or otherwise.

About Richard E. Kelly: Richard E. Kelly is the Managing Director of AAWA and the author of Growing Up in Mama's Club: A Childhood Perspective of Jehovah's Witnesses and The Ghosts from Mama's Club. The retired former president of a Michigan manufacturing company, Kelly was raised as a member of Jehovah's Witnesses, and left the faith at age 20.

Dementia has become the No. 1 cause of disability globally, according to the World Health Organization.

Stroke, which can also profoundly impair judgment and decision-making, stands at No. 2.

"This year, 7.7 million new cases of dementia will be diagnosed, and 15 million people will suffer a stroke," says CPA Jim Kohles, chairman of RINA accountancy corporation, (www.rina.com). "By the time dementia symptoms become apparent, their competence may already be affected. Strokes, as we know, can be tragically sudden."

While many people carefully plan for retirement and what will become of their estate after death, too few provide for that middle ground - incapacity, adds attorney John Hartog of Hartog & Baer Trust and Estate Law, (www.hartogbaer.com).

"We should plan for incapacity, and if it never comes into play that's wonderful," says wealth management advisor Haitham "Hutch" Ashoo, CEO of Pillar Wealth Management, (www.pillarwm.com).

Incapacity planning ensures you're able to speak for yourself in all decisions, from your medical care to financial affairs.

Here are three steps everyone should take, from the accounting, legal and financial perspectives.

• Get disability insurance. "The likelihood of something happening that affects your ability to work is high, so you really should carry disability insurance," says accountant Jim Kohles.

How you pay for it can have different tax impacts. If you purchase it through your business, whether as owner or employee, you can take a tax deduction on the premiums. But that means any claims paid will be taxable. If you pay with post-tax dollars, any benefits are not taxable.

"The difference in saving taxes on $200 a month in premiums versus $5,000 a month in benefits is significant," Kohles says.

Kohles also cautions that more new policies now are capped at 10 years of payments - not lifetime. So be sure you understand the terms.

• Have legal documents that clearly state your wishes. These include a durable power of attorney for financial affairs and an advanced health care directive for medical decisions, says attorney Hartog.

Name the people - the "agents" -- who will be responsible for implementing those decisions, and draw up a document that delineates their responsibilities and powers. Choose people in whom you have a great deal of faith and trust. "People need to remember they're going to be vulnerable - you don't want to pick someone if you have a quiver of doubt about them," he says. One safeguard is to name an agent, and a second person to whom the agent must report. "Just the idea that you have to report keeps people honest," Hartog says.

In some states, the government provides forms so people can prepare these documents themselves, although Hartog suggests at least consulting with an attorney.

• If you're the "non-financial" spouse, become familiar with the financial plan. "Typically, one spouse is in charge of the finances, and the other takes a back seat, or even a no seat," says wealth management advisor Ashoo. "The non-involved person needs to understand how the finances are arranged and planned, and he or she needs to be very comfortable with the family's advisors." This will prevent a nightmare during an already stressful time should the involved spouse suddenly become incapacitated.

Both spouses should attend meetings with the family's advisors, even if one spouse doesn't fully understand or isn't interested in all the details. "If something happens, they will know who to call and what to do," Ashoo says. "They'll avoid a nightmare. That's the peace of mind I want for my clients."

All three experts stress the importance of having these provisions in place long before you think you'll need them.

"Younger people have a higher chance of becoming disabled before they die, and they're usually the people who haven't planned for that at all," says Kohles.

About John Hartog, Jim Kohles & Haitham "Hutch" Ashoo

John Hartog is a partner at Hartog & Baer Trust and Estate Law. He is a certified specialist in estate planning, trust and probate law, and taxation law. Jim Kohles is chairman of the board of RINA accountancy corporation. He is a certified public accountant specializing in business consulting, succession and retirement planning, and insurance. Haitham "Hutch" Ashoo is the CEO of Pillar Wealth Management, LLC, specializing in client-centered wealth management. All three are based in Walnut Creek, Calif., and advise ultra affluent families.