For those of us from families built on Debbie Downer DNA, there's only one direction a mood can go during holiday get-togethers and that's down.

Sure, the running negative commentary, bubble-bursting barbs and rampant self-pity were funny coming from comedian Rachel Dratch on "Saturday Night Live's" Debbie Downer sketches. But few of us can foresee our own Negative Nancys giving us a good belly laugh.

Whether you're the smiley face among frowners, or a bit of a Depressing Dan yourself, there are tricks you can use to keep the table talk from getting lethal, says Paula Renaye, a professional life coach and author of The Hardline Self Help Handbook, (www.hardlineselfhelp.com).

"You can take control simply by thinking about what you choose to say - or not say," Renaye says. "If you hear yourself criticizing, judging or complaining, you're part of the problem. Happy, self-respecting people don't find it necessary to dump on others to make themselves feel good.

"If someone else is the problem, simply don't give them the ammunition they need," she says. Instead try these tactics:

• Do not say anything negative. Period. And no one-downing! One-downing is the opposite of one-upping. It's the art of coming up with something worse when someone else talks about their problem. No matter what negative thing anyone says, or how much you agree with it or don't, resist the urge to respond with a negative. Instead ....

• Dodge, distract and detour. Turn things around with a question -- a positive one. If you need to, make a "happy list" of questions before you go, so you'll have some at the ready. And remember, there's no law that says you have to answer a question just because someone asked it. With negative people, it's best if you ...

• Do not talk about yourself. The only reason negative people care about what you're up to is because they want something to ridicule, brag or gossip about to make themselves look or feel good. Don't go there. Whether you just filed bankruptcy or won a Nobel Prize, keep it to yourself. No good can come of it. None. And why do you need to chatter like a chipmunk about yourself anyway? Might want to think on that one, too. Better to find some praise for someone else than to expect someone to praise you.

• Do not share your woes. Even if you're in a tough place and could really use a shoulder to cry on, don't start laying your woes on a Negative Nell. Even in a weak moment, when you've had a terrible day, talking about it with a negative person is a bad idea. You might get a microsecond of sympathy, but that's only so they can launch into telling you how much worse they have it. So, no talking about yourself unless you want to be the talk of the party, the family and the town.

• Do your homework and become like Teflon. Think of the times people said things that made you feel bad or made you feel the need to defend or explain yourself. If you want to avoid going down that trail again, start hacking away at the jungle of your own emotions. Get over needing anyone's approval or blessing. If you are still waiting for negative relatives to validate you, you're in for a long wait. Don't set yourself up to be miserable. Get over it and go prepared.

About Paula Renaye

Contributions to College Savings Iowa accounts must be made by December 31, 2011.

DES MOINES, IA (12/21/2011)(readMedia)-- Once again, the year has flown by, and it's already time to start looking ahead to 2012. However, State Treasurer Michael Fitzgerald has an important reminder about College Savings Iowa before the big ball drops on New Year's Eve. "Before you start celebrating, don't forget to make your final contributions to your College Savings Iowa account," Fitzgerald said. "To help ring in the New Year and remind Iowans about the importance of saving for college, College Savings Iowa is giving away a $529 College Savings Iowa account." For more information and to enter the giveaway, please visit www.collegesavingsiowa.com.

Contributions to College Savings Iowa must be made by the end of the year to qualify for 2011 state tax deductions. Account holders can deduct up to $2,865 for each open account and can contribute online at www.collegesavingsiowa.com.* Contributions sent by mail must postmark checks by December 31, 2011.

College Savings Iowa lets anyone - parents, grandparents, friends and relatives - invest for college on behalf of a child. Investors do not need to be a state resident and can withdraw their investments tax-free to pay for qualified higher education expenses including tuition, books, supplies and room and board at any eligible college, university, community college or accredited technical training school in the United Sates or abroad.** For more information about College Savings Iowa, call 888-672-9116 or visit collegesavingsiowa.com.

* Adjusted annually for inflation. If withdrawals are not qualified, the deductions must be added back to Iowa taxable income.

** Earnings on non-qualified withdrawals may be subject to federal income tax and a 10% federal penalty tax, as well as state income taxes. The availability of tax or other benefits may be contingent on meeting other requirements.

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Investment returns are not guaranteed and you could lose money by investing in the plan. Participants assume all investment risks as well as responsibility for any federal and state tax consequences. If you are not an Iowa taxpayer, consider before investing whether your or the designated beneficiary's home state offers any state tax or other benefits that are only available for investments in such state's qualified tuition program.

For more information about the College Savings Iowa 529 Plan, call 888-672-9116 or visit www.collegesavingsiowa.com to obtain a Program Description. Investment objectives, risks, charges, expenses, and other important information are included in the Program Description; read and consider it carefully before investing.

JACKSONVILLE, IL (12/21/2011)(readMedia)-- Dustin Secrist of Hillsdale has been chosen to serve on the residence life staff at Illinois College for the 2011-2012 academic year.

Secrist, is the son of Casey Secrist of Hillsdale. He is a graduate of Riverdale High School.

Resident assistants, or RAs serve the college in many capacities: as peer advisers for new residents, coordinators of residential life, and liasons between the students and administration. RAs are responsible for creating an environment that promotes positive academic and social experiences.

Founded in 1829, Illinois College is a residential liberal arts college fostering academic excellence rooted in opportunities for experiential learning while preparing students for lifelong success.

Simple Succulent Smoke

BBQr's Delight www.bbqrsdelight.com smoke cooking through the holidays and winter.

IDEA: Smoke flavoring ham or fowl adds a truly old time seriously rich succulent edge to food.

PROBLEM: Too much smoke can overpower the natural flavor of the food and smoking food can be labor and time intensive and requires special equipment.  Not true any more!

SOLUTION: Lightly smoke the food before you cook it in your oven. Put BBQr's Delight pellets in aluminum foil and make a pouch by folding the foil over and sealing the edges closed.  Poke one or two toothpick holes in the pellet filled pouch.  Now using your barbecue grill place the pouch directly above (on the grate) medium heat (yes, even in the winter).

Once the smoke begins, place food into the grill set a bit away from the heat and adjust the burner to low. The idea in this scenario is to smoke flavor the food NOT to cook it. Close the hood and smoke for an hour or so. The result is an incredibly rich wood flavor and mouth watering aroma. Now remove from the grill and begin cooking in your kitchen oven as normal. The good part is you need not be a BBQ smoke cooking expert to do this; just be skilled enough to fold aluminum foil.

BBQr's Delight Real wood pellets in foil pouch or cast iron pot make cooking with smoke incredibly tasty, economical and easy

Smoke for grilling: For grilling steaks, fish, hamburgers, etc. prepare BBQr's Delight pellets as above  and place on your grill's grates with the burner set at high heat and wait for the smoke. When the smoke starts pouring out, place in food, sear, and then reduce the heat to your preferred final grilling setting, close the hood and finish grilling as normal.

Cooking sets: BBQr's delight makes great cooking gift and sample kits some which even include a cast iron pot to switch out for the aluminum foil pouch.  Now you can simply pour BBQr's Delight pellets into the pot and place it on the grill for smoke in a few minutes.

Affordable: A $3.99 one pound bag can do at least 8-10 flavor packed outings so if you can afford about 40-50 cents per outing to make your food taste outstanding then this is for you.

Regardless of method, you have 14 favors of genuine wood smoke (not artificial chemicals) to pick from and no water soaking is necessary as with wood chips--yeah it is that simple!

With BBQr's Delight you can pick from or make your own secret mix: Mesquite, Hickory, Orange, Apple, Cherry, Pecan, Sugar Maple, Oak, black Walnut, Mulberry, Sassafras and genuine Jack Daniels Whiskey Filtering Charcoal, Alder and Savory Herb.

Clean up takes about ten seconds.

BBQr's Delight

P.O. Box 8727,

Pine Bluff, AR, 71611

877-275-9591

www.bbqrsdelight.com