Scott Eastwood and Britt Robertson in The Longest RideTHE LONGEST RIDE

I don't mean to alarm you, but this past Friday, a seismic event occurred at national cineplexes: A movie based on one of Nicholas Sparks' romantic melodramas opened, and not once - not once! - did its dewy young lovers wind up kissing in the rain.

Chloe Grace Moretz in CarrieCARRIE

(Author's note: Spoilers will abound. Given that the movie under consideration is an oftentimes word-for-word updating of a 37-year-old work, I hope I'll be forgiven for them.)

As remakes of beloved genre classics go, I suppose there's little point in being bothered by the new Carrie. Director Kimberly Peirce's outing, after all, is easy to sit through, smartly staged, generally well-acted, and, in most regards, incredibly faithful to Brian De Palma's 1976 original (which was, itself, reasonably faithful to Stephen King's debut novel of 1974). The CGI effects are pretty weak, and the movie isn't even slightly scary, and considering that nearly all sentient beings know what happens to poor Carrie White at the prom - with the movie's entire advertising campaign based on post-prom imagery - there's almost nothing in the way of storyline surprise, but whatever. It's fine.

Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Bruhl in RushRUSH

While experiencing the technical craftsmanship of director Ron Howard's Rush, with Slumdog Millionaire cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle working at peak ability and the sound effects and editing exquisite throughout, I was frequently tempted to say, "Wow." Too bad that the film's overall presentation more often had me asking, "Why?"

Christoph Waltz in Inglourious BasterdsINGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Quentin Tarantino's latest is the gaudy, World War II revenge thriller Inglourious Basterds, and the (intentional) misspelling of the title is, I think, just about the only thing wrong with it.