02 Jul 2015

He Be Back: "Terminator Genisys," "Magic Mike XXL," and "Me & Earl & the Dying Girl"

By Mike Schulz

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator GenisysTERMINATOR GENISYS

Following some requisite, necessary backstory, Terminator Genisys opens in 2029 Los Angeles, where resistance leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) transports fellow revolutionary Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) to 1984, where he's to hopefully prevent global apocalypse and protect John's mother Sarah (Emilia Clarke) from a murderous robot (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Upon arriving, however, Kyle finds that Sarah doesn't need saving and the robot isn't murderous, so off they go to 2017, where the planet is still imperiled, and John Connor himself proves to be the source of the planet's eventual ruin. After one of these whisks through the decades, Kyle says, "Time travel makes my head hurt," and time-travel movies generally make my head hurt, too. But for a fifth installment in an increasingly confounding series, this particular time-travel movie is actually a fair bit of fun.

07 Apr 2013

Worst Intervention Ever: "Evil Dead," "Olympus Has Fallen," and "Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor"

By Mike Schulz

Jane Levy in Evil DeadEVIL DEAD

While I like the movie just fine, I'm not enough of a fanatic for Sam Raimi's 1981 splatter classic The Evil Dead to get in a twist about the existence of director Fede Alvarez's new, definite-article-free remake Evil Dead. (It's when Hollywood inevitably remakes Raimi's priceless horror sequel Evil Dead II that we're gonna have problems.) But despite being mostly entertained by Alvarez's beyond-bloody outing, especially during its second half, I do have to question the decision to make it, for so much of its length, so bloody serious. This is a film, after all, in which a demon is released by a supernatural incantation, nail guns and electric carving knives are the weapons of choice, and one character escapes a (more-)dreadful fate by enacting a speedier version of 127 Hours. How are we not asked to laugh at all this?

15 Jul 2012

Cold Turkey: "Ice Age: Continental Drift" and "Safety Not Guaranteed"

By Mike Schulz

Ice Age: Continental DriftICE AGE: CONTINENTAL DRIFT

With Ice Age: Continental Drift, we are now four movies into the apparently never-ending 20th Century Fox franchise, and it might finally be time to ask: Has there ever been a less animated animated lead than Ray Romano's woolly mammoth Manny?

18 Dec 2011

Choose to Accept It: "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol," "Young Adult," and "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows"

By Mike Schulz

Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible - Ghost ProtocolMISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL

A European nutjob wants to start nuclear apocalypse, and Ethan Hunt and his team want to stop him. That's my condensation of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol's needlessly complex plot in fewer than 20 words. Here's a condensation of my feelings toward this third sequel in fewer than five: The movie kicks ass.

20 Sep 2009

Whoppers, with Extra Cheese: "The Informant!," "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs," "Jennifer's Body," and "Love Happens"

By Mike Schulz

Matt Damon in The Informant!THE INFORMANT!

 

The film's madcap trailers -- to say nothing of the exclamation point in the title -- don't accurately capture the tone of Steven Soderbergh's The Informant! But I'll be damned if I know what kind of trailers would suggest the feel of this altogether remarkable corporate comedy, which starts off amusingly arch, becomes more funny and fascinating as it progresses, and winds up flat-out hysterical, with your laughter tempered by righteous anger, unanticipated pity, and stunned disbelief.

23 Feb 2009

Momma's Big House: "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail" and "Fired Up!"

By Mike Schulz

Tyler Perry in Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to JailTYLER PERRY'S MADEA GOES TO JAIL

Tyler Perry's wildly popular, drag-act creation Madea - the tough-talking matriarch (played by Perry himself) with zero tolerance for foolishness, church, and most of her family members - is an admittedly entertaining figure. Yet she's a really odd character to build a movie around, because this bosomy yowler steadfastly refuses to change, or "grow," or develop in any way that could sustain a feature-length narrative; she's a one-joke, and one-rant, conceit. Maybe that's why it always feels like Madea is intruding on her films, even the ones with her name in the title. By necessity, the movies in which she appears have to treat her as a special guest star, because if they were just 100-ish minutes of Madea's antics, nothing would ever happen in them.

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