23 Dec 2008

Just Say "No": "Yes Man" and "The Tale of Despereaux"

By Mike Schulz

Jim Carrey and Terence Stamp in Yes ManYES MAN

It feels as though the teasers for Yes Man have been running since the first Bush administration, so I'm assuming everyone is aware of the film's 10-word comic premise: Jim Carrey always says "no," then learns to say "yes." If you're thinking the setup sounds an awful lot like the conceit behind 1997's Liar Liar, you're not wrong, and in his one-joke role as a depressed loan officer who decides to embrace life by acting against his natural impulses, Yes Man also requires Carrey to goose the proceedings with the sorts of rubber-faced buffoonery and "spontaneous" madness that the actor can pull off in his sleep. Unfortunately, that's exactly what he appears to be doing here.

26 Nov 2008

Vamping: "Twilight" and "Bolt"

By Mike Schulz

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in TwilightTWILIGHT

Let's just get it out of the way: No, I haven't read Stephenie Meyer's Twilight, and no, I didn't really care for the film version. But I won't begrudge the movie its popular appeal, because while watching director Catherine Hardwicke's and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg's take on Meyer's teen-vampire tale, it was pretty easy to see what would make the material absolutely irresistible to its target audience. For those of us who aren't its target audience, maybe not so much.

12 Nov 2008

Continental Divide: "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa," "Soul Men," and "Role Models"

By Mike Schulz

Madagascar: Escape 2 AfricaMADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA

Dreamworks' animated hit Madagascar concerned a group of Central Park Zoo denizens who, en route to Africa, find themselves stranded on the island of the film's title, and ended with the citified animals forcibly, though not unhappily, taking residence in their newfound environs. Not having seen Madagascar since its 2005 release, I'll admit that I had to look up this last bit of information before catching Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. And if and when there's a Madagascar 3, I'll no doubt have to look up the details on its predecessor, because a mere two days after attending this sequel, I've already forgotten nearly everything about it.

27 Aug 2008

Wii!!!: "Death Race," "The House Bunny," "The Rocker," and "Fly Me to the Moon"

By Mike Schulz

Jason Statham in Death RaceDEATH RACE

Inspired by the 1975 thriller Death Race 2000, writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson's Death Race isn't much of a movie. But you don't go to it expecting a movie; you go expecting a bone-crunching, brain-splattering, ass-kicking cinematic video game, and that's exactly what you get.

20 Aug 2008

Vicky Stiller Kiefer Tatooine: "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," "Tropic Thunder," "Mirrors," "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"

By Mike Schulz

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina BarcelonaVICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA

In 1992's Husbands & Wives, Juliette Lewis' neophyte reads an unpublished novel by Woody Allen's author, and responds to its romantic ennui with an exasperated "Are our choices really between chronic dissatisfaction and suburban drudgery?" Sixteen years later, with Vicky Cristina Barcelona, the writer/director's response appears to be: Yup. Yet while we Allen fans have been here before, we've never been here before.

02 Jul 2008

WOW•E: "WALL•E" and "Wanted"

By Mike Schulz

WALL•EWALL•E

Pixar's WALL•E is the best 100 minutes I've spent at the movies this year. It may wind up being the best 100 I'll have spent at the movies all year. (The first half seems perfect, and the second half seems merely to be Pixar working at full inspiration, which is the closest thing to perfect.) Prior to WALL•E, I found it impossible to decide whether Toy Story 2 or Finding Nemo or The Incredibles was my favorite of the studio's features. Now they're all fighting for second.

11 Jun 2008

I'm with Stupid: "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" and "Kung Fu Panda"

By Mike Schulz

Adam Sandler in You Don't Mess with the ZohanYOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

The latest Adam Sandler vehicle, You Don't Mess with the Zohan, is crass, infantile, moronic, and, on almost any level you can name, pretty damned offensive. I could kill myself for having so much fun at it.

21 Nov 2007

Anima Shun: "Beowulf," "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium," and "Love in the Time of Cholera"

By Mike Schulz

the CGI likeness of Ray Winstone in BeowulfBEOWULF

In 1977's Annie Hall, there's a scene between Woody Allen's Alvy Singer and Diane Keaton's Annie in which the title character mulls over her adult-education options:

 

ANNIE: Does this sound like a good course - "Modern American Poetry"? Or, let's see now ... maybe I should take "Introduction to the Novel."

ALVY: Just don't take any course where they make you read Beowulf.

 

Thirty years later, I'm not sure I'd want to take a course where they make you see it, either.

07 Nov 2007

Insect Asides: "Bee Movie"

By Mike Schulz

Bee MovieBEE MOVIE

During its first 15 minutes or so, Dreamworks' computer-animated Bee Movie is a visual delight but not much of an aural one.

13 Jun 2007

Vegas, baby! Vegas!: "Ocean's Thirteen," "Surf's Up," and "Mr. Brooks"

By Mike Schulz

Matt Damon, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt in Ocean's 13OCEAN'S THIRTEEN

Memories of the meandering, tiresome, and ceaselessly smug Ocean's Twelve - Steven Soderbergh's first sequel to his 2001 heist flick Ocean's Eleven - were enough to make me leery about Ocean's Thirteen, and during the film's first reel, that feeling rarely subsided; it, too, seemed both simplistic and maddeningly convoluted, and inordinately pleased with itself from the get-go.

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