06 Jun 2010

Sex? Drugs? Rock 'n' Roll!: "Get Him to the Greek" and "Splice"

By Mike Schulz

Jonah Hill and Russell Brand in Get Him to the GreekGET HIM TO THE GREEK

It probably says less about the movie than our current movie culture when I say that, for my money, Nicholas Stoller's Get Him to the Greek is the smartest, shrewdest, and overall best film I've yet seen in 2010. The competition, after all, is in no way fierce; if forced to compose a 10-best list at this admittedly early point in this regrettably weak year, I'd include Stoller's raunchy comedy, Roman Polanski's The Ghost Writer, and then respectfully plead the Fifth.

21 Jan 2009

Heart Attack: "My Bloody Valentine 3-D," "Not Easily Broken," and "Dolphins"

By Mike Schulz

Jaime King and Megan Boone in My Bloody Valentine 3-DMY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D

You can assume you're in good hands at a modern horror movie when, within its first couple of minutes, that grizzled, '80s-scare-flick veteran Tom Atkins (he of The Fog and Creepshow and Halloween III: Season of the Witch) shows up as a scowling local sheriff. You pretty much know you're in good hands when the very first thing that Atkins growls, upon finding himself ankle-deep in holiday-themed carnage, is "Happy fuckin' Valentine's Day!" And if, by some miraculous happenstance, you get to watch this seminal genre moment occur while wearing 3-D glasses, to boot... . Well, I've seen better movies than My Bloody Valentine 3-D recently, but bless its forcibly-removed heart, I can't remember the last one that made me feel - in a good way - like a 13-year-old again.

12 Jan 2009

Get Off His Lawn: "Gran Torino," "The Unborn," and "Bride Wars"

By Mike Schulz

Clint Eastwood in Gran TorinoGRAN TORINO

As much as I love Unforgiven, Million Dollar Baby, and Bronco Billy, I'll admit that I've never been a huge Clint Eastwood fan. (Don't remember Bronco Billy? The 12-year-old in me will never forget it.) Gran Torino, however, is something truly special, a simple - though not simple-minded - and straightforward melodrama that succeeds as both a heartfelt meditation on aging and an exhilarating crowd-pleaser, and Clint is so thrillingly, spectacularly Clint in his latest directorial offering that it's likely his performance won't just please fans, but ensnare a batch of new ones. After catching the movie in Chicagoland during the holidays, I saw it again this past weekend both for the sheer enjoyment of the experience and to see if Gran Torino is really as good as I remembered. It is. (I also wanted to hear lines I originally missed through our raucous audience laughter, but no luck - the cackles were just as loud this time around. Maybe on a third viewing.)

05 Nov 2008

The Weak in Review: "Changeling," "RocknRolla," "Zack & Miri," and "The Haunting of Molly Hartley"

By Mike Schulz

Angelina Jolie in ChangelingCHANGELING

Clint Eastwood's Changeling finds John Malkovich giving a thoughtful, restrained performance as a righteous pastor, and Michael Kelly giving an exceptional one as a dogged detective. Oh, and the period design for the film's 1928 Los Angeles setting is quite good. Having gotten that out of the way, the rest of the movie is so awful - so maddeningly phony and contrived - that I wanted to hurl things at the screen.

29 Oct 2008

Sweet Corn: "High School Musical 3: Senior Year," "The Secret Life of Bees," and "Saw V"

By Mike Schulz

Vanessa Hudgens and Zach Efron in High School Musical 3: Senior YearHIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR

Sure, its storyline is simplistic and its romantic ballads are pretty dull (and compose half of the film's soundtrack), but in nearly every other way High School Musical 3: Senior Year is fantastic - a supremely spirited, candy-colored pop extravaganza that sends you out of the cineplex on an exultant high.

15 Oct 2008

The War on Terrible: "Body of Lies," "The Duchess," and "Quarantine"

By Mike Schulz

Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in Body of LiesBODY OF LIES

I learned recently that Russell Crowe gained 50 pounds for his role in Ridley Scott's action-thriller Body of Lies. To which I reply: For this role? Seriously?

04 Jun 2008

Carrie On: "Sex & the City" and "The Strangers"

By Mike Schulz

Kristin Davis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, and Kim Cattrall in Sex & the CitySEX & THE CITY

The experience of the Sex & the City movie was, for me, akin to pissing away a weekend afternoon watching two-and-a-half hours' worth of sitcom episodes, in succession, on DVD; by the time the closing credits rolled, I felt quite entertained, a little exhausted, and vaguely guilty for not doing something more productive with my time.

16 Apr 2008

Pall in the Family: "Smart People," "Street Kings," and "Prom Night"

By Mike Schulz

Dennis Quaid and Sarah Jessica Parker in Smart PeopleSMART PEOPLE

This past Friday, a couple of friends and I were discussing the long-delayed return of new episodes of NBC's Thursday-night comedies - the unfailingly hysterical 30 Rock and The Office, the shrill, irritating My Name Is Earl, and Scrubs, a show I've occasionally endured when I was feeling too lazy to change the channel. One of my friends admitted that Scrubs has been off its game for quite a while, but said he sticks with it because, after seven seasons, he's become too invested in the actors and their characters to stop watching. I felt the same way during director Noam Murro's Smart People.

09 Apr 2008

Gross Anatomy: "The Ruins," "Leatherheads," "Nim's Island," and "Shine a Light"

By Mike Schulz

Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey in The RuinsTHE RUINS

I caught The Ruins during a minimally populated Saturday-afternoon screening, so I pray that a larger, rowdier audience laughed like mad when our surgeon-to-be hero (the hilariously stalwart Jonathan Tucker) surmised the deadly situation he and his friends were in and barked, with absolute earnestness, "Four Americans on vacation don't just disappear!"

That poor, dumb kid. Never saw a horror movie.

28 Nov 2007

Out of 'Toon: "Enchanted" and "The Mist"

By Mike Schulz

Amy Adams in EnchantedENCHANTED

Disney's Enchanted is a diverting, reasonably clever movie, but boy, does lead actress Amy Adams deserve a better one. Playing a relentlessly cheerful animated heroine who finds herself transported to modern-day Manhattan, Adams assumes a character that could be a one-joke conceit and delivers a stunningly vibrant and committed tour-de-force performance; you could call her a three-dimensional presence in a two-dimensional role if the actress didn't give the impression of playing far more dimensions than that. Adams is heavenly. The film itself is decidedly more earthbound.

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