21 Jan 2009

Heart Attack: "My Bloody Valentine 3-D," "Not Easily Broken," and "Dolphins"

By Mike Schulz

Jaime King and Megan Boone in My Bloody Valentine 3-DMY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D

You can assume you're in good hands at a modern horror movie when, within its first couple of minutes, that grizzled, '80s-scare-flick veteran Tom Atkins (he of The Fog and Creepshow and Halloween III: Season of the Witch) shows up as a scowling local sheriff. You pretty much know you're in good hands when the very first thing that Atkins growls, upon finding himself ankle-deep in holiday-themed carnage, is "Happy fuckin' Valentine's Day!" And if, by some miraculous happenstance, you get to watch this seminal genre moment occur while wearing 3-D glasses, to boot... . Well, I've seen better movies than My Bloody Valentine 3-D recently, but bless its forcibly-removed heart, I can't remember the last one that made me feel - in a good way - like a 13-year-old again.

15 Oct 2008

The War on Terrible: "Body of Lies," "The Duchess," and "Quarantine"

By Mike Schulz

Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio in Body of LiesBODY OF LIES

I learned recently that Russell Crowe gained 50 pounds for his role in Ridley Scott's action-thriller Body of Lies. To which I reply: For this role? Seriously?

10 Oct 2006

Hit the Road, Jack: "The Departed" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning"

By Mike Schulz

Leonardo DiCaprio and Jack Nicholson in The DepartedTHE DEPARTED

Because Martin Scorsese's internal-affairs thriller The Departed is so colossally entertaining, so brimming with performance and filmmaking craft, I may as well get its major failing out of the way right off the bat: What the hell is Jack Nicholson doing here?

04 Jan 2005

Scorsese Falters with the Pandering "The Aviator": Also, "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" and "Beyond the Sea"

By Mike Schulz

Leonardo DiCaprio in The AviatorTHE AVIATOR

Martin Scorsese's The Aviator, which covers two decades in the life of entrepreneur Howard Hughes, is a skillful, beautifully designed bio-pic, engaging and occasionally thrilling, and, despite a two-and-three-quarter-hour running time, it's remarkably easy to sit through.

07 Jan 2003

For Your Consideration: "Chicago," "About Schmidt," "Catch Me If You Can," "The Wild Thornberrys Movie," and "Pinocchio"

By Mike Schulz

Catherine Zeta-Jones in ChicagoCHICAGO

Rob Marshall's film version of the Broadway smash Chicago is so ingeniously staged, so electric, and so welcome to so many of us - The Musical Is Back! - that you might find yourself somewhat heartbroken when you barely remember a thing about the film a day after seeing it.

26 Nov 2002

"Die Another Day" Finds New Life in James Bond: Also, "The Emperor's Club"

By Mike Schulz

Halle Berry and Pierce Brosnan in Die Another DayDIE ANOTHER DAY

In lieu of trying to detail the plot of the latest James Bond vehicle, Die Another Day - really, does it matter? - let me instead run a short list of what makes Lee Tamahori's outing my favorite Bond flick in, I dunno, at least 20 years:

10 Sep 2002

De Niro Helps Drown "City by the Sea": Also, "Swimfan"

By Mike Schulz

James Franco and Robert De Niro in City by the SeaCITY BY THE SEA

If Robert De Niro ever decides to quit acting, I hope he receives retirement benefits from the NYPD. In Michael Caton-Jones's police melodrama City by the Sea, De Niro plays Vincent LaMarca, who is, by rough estimate, the 7,000th cop character he has played onscreen in the past two decades.

06 Jun 2001

"Moulin Rouge" Provokes Passionate Response: Also, "Pearl Harbor" and "What's the Worst That Could Happen?"

By Mike Schulz

Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor in Moulin RougeMOULIN ROUGE

I loved Baz Luhrmann's musical Moulin Rouge, but what I adore even more than the film itself are works like it - artistically divisive movies that give you no choice but to love or hate them.

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