Your Competitive Advantage May Surprise You!
By: Marsha Friedman

What's your best advice for women in business?

It's a question I hear frequently as more and more women strike out on their own, whether it's to start their own company, write a book, turn their great idea into a product, or otherwise monetize their talents. The number of women-owned businesses in this country is growing 1.5 times faster than the national average. From 1997 to 2011, they increased by 50 percent.

I love seeing this surge of confidence! Putting yourself out there is risky, but it's better to try and fail then to spend a lifetime wondering, "What if?"

Yes, I do have a favorite piece of advice for women in business but first, a word about self-employed women.

Did you know that our businesses added 500,000 jobs over 10 years while other privately held firms lost jobs?

That in 2007, we accounted for $1.2 trillion in sales receipts?

Unfortunately, we're also less likely than men to borrow money to expand, so our businesses are smaller. They're also more likely to fail and, despite that huge number of sales receipts, we ring up disproportionately less than our male counterparts.

That information, by the way, comes from an interesting report produced by the U.S. Department of Commerce -- "Women-Owned Businesses in the 21st Century."

It details the progress we've made and some of the hurdles we still must overcome. The latter include the legacy of a long history of discrimination; our tendency to be risk-adverse; and even some of the ventures that we choose. The report says we can help ourselves by creating more supportive networks, having access to more information, and finding mentors.

That last point gave me pause. When I launched my first business, there were comparatively few female CEOs, and certainly no internet to foster communication among them. I learned how to run a business mostly through good old trial and error. That's also how I figured out how to balance that work with my roles as mother, wife and daughter, and how to fit in time volunteering for the community organizations I valued.

But women don't have to go it alone anymore, and nor should we. Which is why I welcome questions like, "What's your best advice for women in business?" I'd like to see the new generations of self-employed females blow through the hurdles that still remain before us and create even more opportunities for the generations to come.

So what's my best advice? That's impossible to say, but here's one for starters.

Know your audience.

And guess what? It's you!

Women account for 73 percent to 85 percent of all consumer decisions (according to Boston Consulting Group, Competitive Edge Magazine, and TrendSight Group founder Marti Barletta),. From the grocery store to the automobile dealership to the tech industry, women drive purchasing.

You need to communicate with that audience in mind. No, you don't want to exclude men, but you also need to be sure your message appeals to women.

When I'm writing anything, whether it's an email or a media pitch, I make a point to read over what I've written from the perspective of my audience. If I'm writing for industry peers, technical language is probably fine. If my audience is the media, concise and direct is best. If it's clients, I want to be sure whatever I write also reflects my appreciation of them.

And then there's the feminine factor.

As a woman, I'm a sucker for honesty and sincerity. I'm turned off by condescension. Unless the writer is somebody I already know and respect, I have little tolerance for preaching, judgment, or demands.

Any message that takes those things into account will work for men, too.

Whether you're writing marketing copy, posting on social media, or working on an article or newsletter, if your goal is to turn your readers into buyers, you need to write with your audience in mind.

That's not so hard - if you're a woman.

About Marsha Friedman

Marsha Friedman is a 22-year veteran of the public relations industry. She is the CEO of EMSI Public Relations (www.emsincorporated.com), a national firm that provides PR strategy and publicity services to corporations, entertainers, authors and professional firms. Marsha is the author of Celebritize Yourself: The 3-Step Method to Increase Your Visibility and Explode Your Business and she can also be heard weekly on her Blog Talk Radio Show, EMSI's PR Insider every Thursday at 3:00 PM EST.

Psychiatrist Offers Tips to Overcome Common Issues

At the heart of almost all of his patients' problems, says psychiatrist Gary Malone, are issues that stem from the family that raised them creating problems in the family they've started.

"Almost all of us deal with this to some degree or another. Very few families are idyllic," says Malone, a distinguished fellow in the American Psychiatric Association, and coauthor with his sister Susan Mary Malone of "What's Wrong with My Family?"  (www.whatswrongwithmyfamily.com).

"Forget 'Leave it to Beaver.' Normal families are more like 'The Twilight Zone.' "

Despite that, most of us manage to lead happy, productive lives.

"Once we recognize the childhood baggage we've carried into adulthood, we can take steps to compensate, make corrections, and change how we raise our own children," Malone says.

These are some of the qualities of a healthy family, and what you can do if that quality was missing or in short supply as you were growing up:

• Shows love: Family is usually the one place and time in life that a person experiences unconditional love. If you did not receive that as a child, you likely have difficulty loving and valuing yourself. There is no substitute for loving yourself; this issue is the No. 1 cause of unhappiness in adult relationships. The first step in healing is recognizing the damage and being willing to believe your feelings of unworthiness are not based in reality but are the product of a deficit likely handed down through generations in your family. Listen to what you tell yourself - if it's things like, "I'm an idiot" and "I am really messed up," change that self talk. Words are powerful!

• Respects autonomy: Individuals in the family are encouraged to develop their own personal identity and separate from the family while maintaining a role within it. The family supports and even cheers on individuals in their personal quests. Children who are not allowed the freedom to express and explore their identities may become adults who develop co-dependent relationships - wherein they put the needs of others before their own and/or are dependent on the control of others. Ways to begin addressing autonomy issues as an adult include learning how to comfortably spend time alone, pursuing interests (whether or not they are valued by friends and family) by taking classes or joining clubs, and boosting self-esteem through positive self talk.

• Creates structure & boundaries: Parents are the keepers of the rules; they provide structure for children, both to protect them and to foster learning and growth. People who grow up with little or no structure may fail to offer structure to their own children - or overreact and be too rigid. Provide structure and consistency by setting up routines that everyone in the family is expected to follow daily, with occasional exceptions. These might include making your bed in the morning; daily chores; a set dinnertime, with everyone at the table; and "together" time, such as a game night.

About Dr. Gary Malone, M.D. & Susan Mary Malone

Dr. Gary Malone is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Texas Southwestern and a teaching analyst at the Dallas Psychoanalytic Institute. He is a distinguished fellow in the American Psychiatric Association with board certifications in general and addiction psychiatry. He has worked in hospitals and private practices for more than 30 years. Dr. Malone is director of Adult Chemical Dependency Services at Millwood Hospital in Arlington, Texas.

Award-winning writer and editor Susan Mary Malone is the author of the novel, "By the Book," and three nonfiction books, including "Five Keys for Understanding Men: A Women's Guide." More than 40 of the book projects she has edited were purchased by traditional publishing houses. She is Dr. Malone's siste

Next Time You Stop at the Store, Pick Up These Tasty,
Nutrition-packed Foods, Physician Advises

It's the question we ask ourselves almost every day: What's for dinner?

Entwined in this daily dialogue is wondering whether we'll need to dash into the grocery store on the way home from work. The next time we make one of those supermarket pit stops, Dr. Eudene Harry, author of "Live Younger in 8 Simple Steps," (www.LivingHealthyLookingYounger.com), would like us to veer in a new direction.

"When people shop on the go, they tend to gravitate toward old standbys and foods they can multipurpose with - usually not the most nutritious choices possible. But by substituting a few items on your list, you can not only look and feel more youthful, you'll boost your resistance to certain cancers and other illnesses."

Some of the most nutrition-packed foods not only taste great, they're readily available at the grocery store and easy to prepare, Harry says.

"The more you eat, the more you'll crave them."

Here are five food combos for shoppers with healthy eating on their minds:

• Tomato, garlic, chicken and almonds: Tomatoes contain one of the world's most concentrated sources of cancer-fighting lycopene, which is best absorbed from tomatoes that are cooked. Garlic has been used for centuries for various health purposes and is a known free-radical destroyer. Nuts help to lose weight, maintain healthy blood pressure and support moods; almond crumbs are a great substitute for bread crumbs on chicken. Pair these goodies with whole wheat couscous for a full dinner.

• Pomegranate-Balsamic tempeh: With its high protein, fiber and isoflavones content, and meaty texture, tempeh is heavily utilized by vegetarians. It's made from soybeans processed in a manner similar to cheese making. Like tofu, tempeh takes on the flavors with which it is cooked or marinated, including zesty-tangy balsamic vinegar - perfect for accentuating salads.

• Mashed cauliflower gone Greek: Not only does the "original" yogurt have a thicker texture and richer taste, it's also denser in lactobacilli, the healthy bacteria that may delay the onset of cancer. And yogurt is low in fat and high in protein, which is essential for many body functions, including building and repairing muscle tissue, organs, bones and connective tissue. Rather than add fatty, cholesterol-filled butter and sour cream to starchy potatoes that stick to your ribs, why not pair two healthy options with mashed cauliflower with Greek yogurt and fresh black pepper for simple goodness?

• Sushi - wild salmon, minced cucumbers, shredded carrots, kelp, sesame seeds and rice: A sushi roll is much more filling and satisfying than a non-sushi eater would think. Many grocery chains offer ready-made rolls, but they are also fairly easy to make. A bamboo roller is a great start; place a sheet of nutrient-dense kelp as the first thing on the roller, and add, lengthwise, desired ingredients. Your first try is not likely to be perfect, but the tasty and healthy ingredients will be there.

• Fruit salad for dessert: Bring together chopped apples, strawberries, cantaloupe, watermelon and pineapple with blueberries and grapes for a sweet and juicy post-dinner palate-cleanser. Lemon juice prevents fruits from bruising. If that's not enough, combine the salad with Greek yogurt - perhaps blended with vanilla or almond extract - and fiber-filled granola for a parfait.

About Eudene Harry, M.D.

Dr. Eudene Harry holds a bachelor's in biology from New York University and completed both her medical degree and residency training at Thomas Jefferson University. Currently the medical director for the integrative and holistic Oasis Wellness and Rejuvenation Center, she has practiced medicine for nearly 20 years, is board certified in both emergency and holistic medicine, and for more than a decade practiced emergency medicine as an attending physician in Level II trauma centers. In 2005 she opened Oasis for Optimal Health, a private practice focused on integrative, holistic wellness and empowering and educating the patient.

Former Marine Platoon Commander Notes 2013 Congress has
Least Active-Duty Veterans Since WWII

The U.S. military invaded Afghanistan in 2001 and has been there ever since; in fact, the government started and ended another long and costly campaign in Iraq within that period. All the fighting, dying, loss of limbs, family absences, stress and resulting post-traumatic stress disorder, alcoholism, homelessness and suicide have been experienced by less than 1 percent of the population - combat veterans.

"Everyone says they can only imagine the hell of war, and it's true; if you haven't been in combat, you just don't know what it is like," says Ord Elliott, a former platoon commander with the Marines and author of The Warrior's Silence (www.ordelliott.com). The memoir, written over several decades, recounts the transformative experience of combat in Vietnam and how it informed his emerging understanding of war as a young man.

"The problem has gotten worse because the number of active-duty veterans in the U.S. Congress has been declining for nearly four decades," Elliott says. "This year's 113th Congress will have the fewest since World War II - just 19 percent of the 535 House and Senate members."

Elliott says he had no particular purpose in mind when he wrote down his memories and impressions of war, and the pages sat in the back of my closet for years - until the drums of war started up once again for the Middle East.

"I knew more young people would be used as cannon fodder for an unnecessary war, voted on by old politicians with nothing to lose. That's when I knew my writing could be used for something."

Much of his reader feedback addresses the apparent indifference by politicians to the suffering that will be endured by troops when the nation goes to war, says Elliott, a Princeton graduate. He says many feel thatThe Warrior's Silence - in the tradition of Karl Marlantes' Matterhorn and Norman Mailer's The Naked and the Dead - should be required reading for any politician pushing for a war vote. Several passages in Elliott's book detail the heavy toll of war:

• Resentment & anger: As a platoon commander, Elliott participated heavily in "the numbers game," which was the attempt to count the dead and wounded on both sides. "It became a far more fictional than real method of accounting," he says.Many times since then, Elliott has daydreamed about having Robert McNamara, the late Secretary of Defense who played a major role in the Vietnam War, run "point." "I wanted the politicians and the generals and the colonels sitting back in Da Nang moving pins on a map - I wanted those bastards on my point," he writes. "When you're on point, you're marching on the edge of annihilation, your last moment not a full breath away."

• Depersonalizing humans: In Vietnam enemies were called "Gooks;" today, we fight "terrorists,"or even the more blatantly racist "rag-heads." In addition to the many inane reasons given for the past several U.S. wars -which stay with vets as a nagging "why?" - embattled military personnel also carry with them the dangerous experience of having dehumanized people. "When you get back from combat, you know you've changed, but you don't know exactly how," he says.

• The good warrior: Dave Hackett, a friend of Elliott's in Vietnam, was the company's executive officer. "He was a good Marine who never questioned the war; he was a professional warrior who accepted the rules of the game he was in," Elliott says. One night, the two shared coffee while Dave retold the adventures of a Native American hero, as portrayed in a western-novel series, in which the protagonist was finally killed. The storytelling turned out to be prophetic.The next day the company was ambushedand Dave died in the firefight trying to save other Marines.Today's Marines are much like Dave, Elliott says. They are admirable in their willingness to charge into anything, and they are completely at the mercy of politicians' votes.

• Insight: "My father fought in the Battle of the Bulge," writes Catherine Webber, a former Oregon state senator. "Two years later, when I was only 6, he committed suicide. Ord's insight into the warrior's mind has helped me understand how what he endured could have trumped his love for me, my mother and my baby sisters. Had I known this 60 years ago, my life would have been much different. I have now finally found some closure and peace ...."

About Ord Elliott

Ord Elliott was a Marine Rifle Platoon Commander in Vietnam, and he is a Princeton graduate. He went on to build a successful career in management consulting. He is also the author of a book on organization design, The Future Is Fluid Form: Practical Steps for Designing Flat, Flexible Organizations.