Published May 22, 2001 in the Los Angeles Times Enslave your girls and women, harbor anti-U.S. terrorists, destroy every vestige of civilization in your homeland, and the Bush administration will embrace you.

Hooked

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"All right, children, settle down. I know it's been a long summer, but we need to get back to work now. Everyone turn down your voice-simulation devices and reconnect your seating modules. And Tommy 2X, stop eating that semiconductor paste.
All of Us Deserve River Renaissance by Phil Yerington Congratulations to the people of Davenport, Scott County, and the entire Quad City area! The Vision Iowa Board has committed $20 million to the revitalization of downtown Davenport.
Q: I sure like Al Gore's new look. In all the latest photos, he's wearing a beard. What's the inside story? A: This bold move was suggested by the Democratic National Committee, which hopes voters won't recognize the former vice president, thus giving him a fresh start for 2004.
"Welcome to another edition of Larry King Live. Tonight our special guest is The Man Who Won't Go Away, Bubba the Baby Boomer, the Kahuna of Controversy, the Guy You Hate to Love and Love to Hate, that dashing former president of the United States, Bill Clinton.
"All right, let's get this over with. As you know, my name is Skip Kovacs, and I have a long history in successful tabloid journalism. That's why they just hired me to take over as editor of this newspaper. So, starting today, we're going to put some real pizzazz into print.
Relations between journalists and the subjects about whom they write feature an inherent tension. As journalists, we're asking sources to take time out of their schedules to talk with us when the results are uncertain: They don't know whether we'll write something glowing or damning about them.
"Gimme another beer, willya Mike? And a coupla Slim Jims." "Beer's gonna kill ya, Louie. You oughta drink healthy like I do. Lemme see that paper." "Whaddaya mean, healthy?" "Gatorade and vodka.

G-Men

"Welcome to another edition of Blowhard Roundtable - the fast-moving, hard-hitting, fist-banging program where Washington insiders shout at each other while you just sit there and listen." "That's right, Fred.

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