McSatire

There's a stack of news clippings here labeled "McDonald's" that is getting so thick we finally had to move the Gary Condit file.

Ba-da-boom.

But seriously. I spent all week trying to write something funny about America's Most Successful Fast Food Chain, by way of introducing a just-leaked story that spotlights the company's latest misadventure.

Where oh where is our new Davenport city administrator? It has been over three weeks since Mayor Phil Yerington announced his choice of Craig Malin for the position, amidst some dissention from players at DavenportOne and several of the aldermen, namely Aldermen Sherwood and McGivern.

Bottoms Up!

"All right, let's get started. This meeting of Underage Alcohol Marketers Anonymous will please come to order. And remember, no last names."

"Can I go first?"

"Fine."

"Hello, everybody.

I've known Mike Dassie for well over 20 years. Mike passed away last Thursday, June 28, after 57 years of a truly great presence on this earth. Mike was manager of the Davenport Country Club for thirteen years, owned O'Meara's Pub in downtown Bettendorf for five years, and then went on to operate his own successful catering business.

Q: I hear Congress still can't agree on that patient bill of rights. What's the problem?

A: Nothing's more complicated than health care in America. The latest stumbling block was when several Senators realized that checking into a hospital and hiring a prostitute both started with the same question - "How much money do you have?" - and ended with, "All right, lie down and give me your underwear.

Democracy is more than a spectator sport; for it to survive and flourish, we all must become active, engaged citizens. This is the message I heard from 86 students representing 12 Quad City-area high schools, who recently participated in the Close Up Foundation government-studies program in Washington, D.

On June 16, 2001, the world dimmed when my friend, Chris Wightman (50 years young) passed away. Chris was not your average bear. He was the epitome of kindness, gentle compassion, and true friendship. As one acquaintance put it, "Chris was a blue chip guy.

On Monday, June 18, Davenport Mayor Phil Yerington announced that a candidate has been chosen to fill the vacant position of city administrator. Craig Malin, currently the Douglas County Administrator in northern Wisconsin, has a long list of favorable credentials responsible for a unanimous recommendation from the 14-person search committee appointed by the mayor to find the best candidate for the job.

Father's Day

Of all the holidays generally recognized in North America, Father's Day has the most potential for confusion and complication, if not outright concussion.

Thanksgiving, by contrast, is a snap. Everyone in America sits down to the same exact meal, then nods off as the L-tryptophan kicks in and the Lions game lurches toward halftime.

Hopefully, the public has been watching Super Wal-Mart as it has proceeded, at times allegedly unlawfully, toward its ultimate conclusion. The last leg of this development travesty was the "dark store agreement" conceived and perpetrated upon Davenport taxpayers by Alderman Bob McGivern, who only further demonstrated his lack of understanding of business matters so crucial to the proceedings.

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