Mayor

Vince Thomas

Mark Schwiebert

What are the three most pressing issues likely to fact your city during your term, and what specifically would you support to address them?

Thomas: Affordable housing for all income ranges.

Whazzup?

Bobby Knight has a new coaching job at Texas Tech, and he's asked us to destroy all copies of the following farewell address from last fall.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I could say a lot of things right now.

During this week's Community Development Committee Meeting there were five discussion items, but only one item (designating the Annie Wittenmyer complex as an historic district) received any discussion whatsoever on the part of the committee aldermen.

Easy Money

"You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, Brad. Come in. I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"What do you mean?"
"You see, the market seems to be flirting with a bit of volatility right now, and?"
"You're telling me! I actually lost money on my lunch hour yesterday. Can you believe it? That's the last time I trade stocks and fantasy league players at the same time. You really gotta pay attention these days."


"Yes, well, we believe that it's all just a correction, but the board is a little skittish right now, so they've agreed to a merger to prop things up."


"With who?"


"Enigma Industries."


"Their slogan is, 'No One Knows What We Make, Except Money.'"


"Exactly. And their CEO ? I mean, our new CEO ? feels that we need to assume a similarly strategic position."


"Great idea. That's why I upgraded my Palm Pilot."


"Yes, well, the bottom line is, our corporate mission has been redefined, our personnel base is being downsized, and your specific job description has been outsourced."


"What do you mean?"


"You're fired."


"Whaat??"


"Don't take it personally."


"But I've only been here six months! I just got out of college."


"I know. And in this economy, most companies just can't afford $65,000 for a 21-year-old who majored in progressive Web design and golf."


"I also minored in feng shui."


"Brad, the world is finally getting back to reality. You're too young to realize this, but the last few years have been a fantasy. Dot-coms with no hope of turning a profit making their executives rich, people with no capital or expertise calling themselves investors. It was a giant Ponzi scheme. It had to end sometime."


"Does this mean I have to return the Mercedes?"


"I'm afraid so. And the health club needs their towels back."


"Well, I guess I'll just have to post my résumé on the Internet again and get a few more dozen seductive offers."


"Brad, those days are over too. That's why we'd like you to meet our vice president for recently hired outplacement, Mr. Jiggs McCoy. Jiggs, say hello to Brad Westfield."


"But?"


"At ease, son. First thing is, I know just how you feel. It wasn't that many years ago I got the word they were closing down the whole carbon-paper division. Well, goodbye, pension. So what do you do when you're not here?"


"Watch TV."


"All right, there's a start. Unfortunately, they make all those sets overseas now. Say, here's an idea. Ever thought about moving to Mexico?"



Copyright 2001 Newrite, Inc. All rights reserved. GLW's on WGN Radio AM 720 and wgnradio.com. Coming soon: newsjunkie.net.

The hypocrisy and self-serving nature of the Quad City Times' editorial page knows no bounds.

Case in point No. 1: Editor John Humenik's posturing on "An emotional price for finding the truth," which appeared last Sunday.

It's unfortunate that the River Cities' Reader characterized its recent cover story "Does Davenport Hog Its Block-Grant Funding?" (see Issue 311. February 21-27, 2001) as another us-against-them article. This kind of reporting tends to minimalize the positive impact that the City of Davenport and local nonprofits have in addressing the needs of our low- and moderate-income residents.

I had an epiphany sitting in last week's regular Council Meeting. I finally realized that there are a paltry few individuals on the council who are actually qualified to be aldermen. A city of nearly 100,000 citizens, with a managed budget of approximately $100 million, requires people with more experience in business, city planning, administration, finance, and leadership.

Back in what my daughter would call the olden days, local news was whatever went on in the hut next door. National news happened down the block. World news transpired in that village across the river.
The flow of knowledge may have been primitive, but people paid attention because newsmakers were their neighbors.

In the past several months, petitions from two separate developers (THF Realty-Wal-Mart, and Jersey Ridge Partners-Steve Schalk and associates) for rezoning of nearly 300 acres north of 53rd Street, between Elmore and Eastern avenues, have passed through Planning & Zoning without most of the crucial questions being answered.

I am concerned about the manner in which the recent dismissal of a 22-year Davenport city employee took place. It appears that the council has sacrificed Mike Meloy, City Attorney, at the expense of unknown political agendas.

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