21 Oct 2012

Robbie May Be Bloody Bonkers: "Paranormal Activity 4," "Alex Cross," and "Meerkats 3D"

By Mike Schulz

Kathryn Newton in Paranormal Activity 4PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4

Pity those who walk into Paranormal Activity 4 having no familiarity with this popular horror series' previous entries. You should really pity the rest of us, too, but first things first.

14 Oct 2012

Rescue Mission Impossible: "Argo," "Seven Psychopaths," "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," and "Sinister"

By Mike Schulz

John Goodman, Alan Arkin, and Ben Affleck in ArgoARGO

It sounds like an all-too-Hollywood idea for a high-concept suspense thriller: A sextet of State Department employees are trapped in Iran, and their only hope for escape lies with an ingenious CIA official who plans to free the Americans by having them pose as a location-scouting team for a Canadian science-fiction movie. Yet within its first minutes, director/star Ben Affleck's Argo - based on a recently declassified chapter of the Iranian hostage crisis of 1979-80 - registers as terrifically, nerve-rackingly authentic, even if the film's most enjoyable elements are, in truth, as Hollywood as they come.

01 Oct 2012

Time Warped: "Looper," "Pitch Perfect," "Won't Back Down," and "House at the End of the Street"

By Mike Schulz

Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis in LooperLOOPER

Rian Johnson's Looper, a time-travel thriller set primarily in the year 2044, casts Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a contract killer whose life is upended with the arrival of his latest target: his older self, who has been transported from the year 2074 and is played by Bruce Willis. This means that, with Gordon-Levitt delivering rather uncanny likenesses of his co-star's traditional scowls and smirks - and with the younger actor's countenance bizarrely altered to resemble the elder actor's familiar face - Willis essentially plays both leading roles ... which isn't the most enticing of setups if, like me, you generally find one Bruce Willis more than enough.

04 Sep 2012

"Get the Hell Out of Me!": "The Possession," "Lawless," and "Celeste & Jesse Forever"

By Mike Schulz

Jeffrey Dean Morgan in The PossessionTHE POSSESSION

The new horror thriller The Possession is about a little girl who requires an exorcism to remove the evil dybbuk inhabiting her body, and it opens with a title card informing us that the film is "based on a true story." You know what I'm aching to see one of these days? An exorcism-themed entertainment that isn't based on a true story. Can you imagine how much fun these things could be if we weren't consistently asked to believe in them?

11 Jun 2012

In the Beginning ... : "Prometheus" and "Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted"

By Mike Schulz

Logan Marshall-Green, Noopi Rapace, and Michael Fassbender in PrometheusPROMETHEUS

After many months of speculation, the question of whether Ridley Scott's Prometheus is, in fact, a prequel to the director's Alien can finally be answered: Hell yeah it is. And a good thing, too, because the enticing echoes of that 1979 sci-fi/horror essential are among the scant few elements that truly resonate in this visually extraordinary but only fitfully engaging endeavor.

03 Jun 2012

The Passion of the Cristero: "For Greater Glory," "Chernobyl Diaries," and "Tornado Alley 3D"

By Mike Schulz

Andy Garcia and Mauricio Kuri in For Greater GloryFOR GREATER GLORY

To my considerable chagrin, before seeing For Greater Glory, I had no knowledge of the Cristero War that serves as the film's subject - a brutal conflict between devout Roman Catholics and the Mexican government that, in the late 1920s, claimed nearly 100,000 lives. Consequently, I thank director Dean Wright and screenwriter Michael Love for their two-and-a-half hour exploration of this years-long struggle, a movie that's intensely informative and sincere, and mostly engaging. If only it weren't also so sentimental, and so manipulative.

15 Apr 2012

Biting (Off) the Hand That Feeds You: "The Cabin in the Woods," "The Three Stooges," "The Raid: Redemption," and "Lockout"

By Mike Schulz

Fran Kranz, Chris Hemsworth, and Anna Hutchison in The Cabin in the WoodsTHE CABIN IN THE WOODS

Hollywood's been leading toward it for decades, and with the blithely enjoyable, exceedingly clever The Cabin in the Woods, it's finally happened: A movie has been released in which practically everything about it - its plot, its twists, its performers, its characters, its themes, its jokes - could be considered a spoiler.

11 Mar 2012

One-Shot Wonder: "Silent House," "John Carter," and "A Thousand Words"

By Mike Schulz

Elizabeth Olsen in Silent HouseSILENT HOUSE

It's entirely possible that you'll need to have seen an awful lot of horror movies - particularly an awful lot of awful horror movies - to be jazzed by Silent House, considering that it's basically just 90 minutes of a young woman being terrorized by barely glimpsed figures and startling noises in her family's lakeside summer home. (Contrary to the title, this house is anything but silent.) Yet if you can get past the paper-thin storyline and a climax that's less "Aa-a-a!!!" than "Hu-u-uh?!?", the movie proves to be a terrifically nerve-racking and utterly fascinating scare flick, because from first shot to last, the action not only takes place in real time, but seems to have been filmed in one continuous take.

05 Feb 2012

"Dude, Where's My Conscience?": "Chronicle," "The Woman in Black," "Big Miracle," and "The Last Reef"

By Mike Schulz

Dane DeHaan in ChronicleCHRONICLE

Part superhero (and -villain) origin fable and part teen-angst melodrama, Chronicle concerns three high-schoolers who venture down a mysterious hole in the Earth and emerge with telekinetic powers, and the best thing about the movie is that its leads subsequently behave just as high-schoolers likely would in such a situation.

09 Jan 2012

Smarter Denser Colder Meh: "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" and "The Devil Inside"

By Mike Schulz

Benedict Cumberbatch and Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier SpyTINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY

You know that handy, lame, relationship-ending sentiment "It's not you; it's me"? That's what I feel like saying to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, the new adaptation of the famed John le Carré novel. I readily concede that director Tomas Alfredson's spy thriller is beautifully made, boasting engaged, cagey performances and a number of superbly shot set pieces. But for all of the film's merits, I found myself hugely relieved when its end credits rolled, because Alfredson's intensely complicated endeavor appeared so much smarter than I am that I took almost no pleasure from the experience. My issue isn't that the movie is a dog. It's that, for most of Tinker Tailor's 125 minutes, I felt like a dog watching a movie.

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