Bros Before Woes: “Heaven Help Me,” at the Richmond Hill Barn Theatre through July 19

According to his website, Joe Simonelli has written 23 plays since 2001, and 2002’s Heaven Help Me is one of them. Now being presented at the Richmond Hill Barn Theatre, it’s directed by Dana Skiles, who is also the show's light and sound designer and operator. Though the show is billed as a comedy, I only laughed a few times. I was much more invested in its dramatic scenes. I’d quibble with Simonelli about his title, too, as there’s nothing theological about the script – no angels, no prayer; Heaven isn’t invoked, or even mentioned. Though there is a ghost. But let’s start at the beginning, after I took my seat to the funky beat of “Another One Bites the Dust.”

A national restaurant chain is failing, and the owners, three brothers and their former sister-in-law, can’t let that happen. So they meet at their dead parents’ house on Rockaway Beach to discuss selling the property to shore up their business. (And now I want a sequel in which the dead parents materialize.) First to arrive is the youngest, compulsive gambler and douchebarge extraordinaire Rollie, played by Ernest Toutant III. I mean, he’s got the whole wannabe high-roller thing going, from the gold chains to the white blazer to the ponytail. Despite the tied-back hair, Rollie also has locks hanging in his face, so I guess the business is in the back and the party’s in the front. Unfortunately, his black slacks make him look like a waiter. Anyway, he’s got his paramour in tow, vivacious former New Jersey boardwalk palm reader Rita (Cali Van Zandt). She dresses appropriately for her part, as well, with eye-watering color combos and patterns, topped with garish jewelry – some of which, quite frankly, I was coveting.

The first scene had a slower pace than I would’ve preferred. But Victor Angelo's Kevin, the next brother to arrive, kicks it up a notch or five by striding into the beach house in the midst of an intense phone conversation. His serious, earnest manner was a wonderful contrast to the frivolous nouveau riche-daydream ruminations of Rollie and Rita; it reminded me of Angelo’s role as a deadly serious shipping company executive in 2025's Titanic: The Musical at Moline's Spotlight Theatre. But back to Rockaway Beach. While Rita is out of the room, the two brothers talk about the arrival of their third brother … and their fourth. Fourth? Yes. Their brother Fred is dead. And he’ll be here any minute.

David Shaffer was real and believable as steady Fred, and though discorporeal, is the most solid of all the sibs. Having no financial worries probably helps. An aspect of Fred’s mythos that I really liked is that, for a few years now, he has kept forgetting that he’s dead, so his brothers have to gently break it to him, time and again. Then, oldest brother Sam (Mike Kelly) bursts in, colorful in an aloha shirt, bearing a ukulele in one hand and a Monopoly game in another. Despite his party-time aura on his entrance, he tends toward grouchiness. I’d wager the oldest sibling of any family would be cranky, facing the imminent collapse of their empire and the probable sale of their folks’ beach house. (Rollie: “I’ll take that bet!”) Also, Sam has never believed that Fred is there, and doesn’t even want to hear about him. I know Kelly has range; seeing him as Sam, it occurred to me that he’d make a good Felix Unger. Sam wasn’t warm and cuddly, but I really felt for him.

At last, Fred's wife Martha (Mallory Park), now remarried, arrives. Playwright Simonelli sets up the farce-tinged conceit that Martha faints whenever she sees the dead Fred, and also, that she and Rita, meeting now for the first time, have a cat-fight level of animosity between them. Unfortunately, it was as if he were trying to come up with ideas for conflict that were ripe for comedy, then forgot to include any comedy. Similarly, an overly long shtick in one blackout between scenes, when a stagehand wrestled with Park’s limbs as she lay limp on the couch, went over big with the crowd. It even got applause. I felt like cheering when it was over, too.

However, when Martha regained consciousness for good, the scenes between she and Fred were golden. I was riveted. They played it straight, and the affection and slight shyness between them worked wonderfully well. Meanwhile, Van Zandt’s Rita was amusing when she attempted medium-ship to contact Fred; even more so when he casually stood next to her while she, unaware, continued her over-dramatic summoning. The living brothers also had a solid, satisfying scene toward the end, and a big Happily Ever After seems to be in the cards for everyone. (Rollie: “Hit me!”)

The Richmond Hill Players have wrung a good deal of entertainment out of Simonelli’s Heaven Help Me – possibly more than was there to begin with. It’s worth a watch.

Heaven Help Me runs at the Richmond Hill Barn Theatre (600 Robinson Drive, Geneseo IL) through July 19, and more information and tickets are available by calling (309)944-2244 and visiting RHPlayers.com.