14 Sep 2014

Tony Soprano and a Pit Bull Walk into a Bar ... : "The Drop," "Dolphin Tale 2," and "No Good Deed"

By Mike Schulz

Tom Hardy in The DropTHE DROP

Tom Hardy, by this point in his career, has had enough major roles in enough major movies to qualify as a familiar face. And a good thing, too, because if we were forced to rely on his voice and specific screen type, how, from film to film, would we ever recognize him? The British star's latest is the crime thriller The Drop, and it's a solid piece of work - hardly novel, but gripping and enjoyable nonetheless. Yet it's tough to imagine any Hardy fan even thinking about skipping it, considering that, much like the recent home-video release Locke, the movie allows this brilliantly chameleon-like character actor to perform an exquisite slow burn that lasts 90-ish minutes, and to sound and seem quite unlike anyone he's ever played before.

08 Sep 2014

The King, and More Royal Subjects: "The Identical," "Locke," "Only Lovers Left Alive," "The Normal Heart," and "The Spoils of Babylon"

By Mike Schulz

Blake Rayne, Ashley Judd, and Ray Liotta in The IdenticalDirector Dustin Marcellino's The Identical is for anyone who ever wanted to see a fictionalized account of the birth of the Elvis-impersonator movement. Or anyone who'd enjoy Presley's songs more if their melodies weren't so complex and their lyrics weren't so depraved. Or anyone who's been yearning to see Ray Liotta play a devout evangelist who explains to his congregation why he just lit eight candles on a menorah, when, as we can see, he clearly lit nine.

31 Aug 2014

Midnight Below Paris: "As Above, So Below" and "The November Man"

By Mike Schulz

Marion Lambert and Perdita Weeks in As Above, So BelowAS ABOVE, SO BELOW

Sometimes, because our expectations for it are usually so low, all a horror film needs to get by is a really juicy setting. Of course, it helps if there's also some talent involved, and I'm pleased to report that John Erick Dowdle's As Above, So Below actually has both. This claustrophobic creep-out may be frequently silly and too inscrutable for its own good, but it boasts a spectacularly eerie locale in its Parisian catacombs (home to the remains of 6 million deceased), and Quarantine and Devil director Dowdle continues his impressive run of lending superb craftsmanship to routine scare-flick scenarios.

24 Aug 2014

Gridiron Man: "When the Game Stands Tall" and "If I Stay"

By Mike Schulz

When the Game Stands TallWHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL

Inspirational sports dramas, particularly inspirational high-school-sports dramas, can boast many virtues, and even the crummier ones can be a lot of fun. But one thing they're not generally known for is surprise, which is why it's all the more flabbergasting that When the Game Stands Tall has such a doozy of one at its center: the leading performance, and maybe the finest one yet, by Jim Caviezel. Director Thomas Carter's football saga is actually pretty terrific for a number of reasons. Yet despite working within a formula, and with the type of role, in which beats and arcs so often feel preordained, Caviezel provides one happy surprise after another, principally - and misleadingly - by appearing to do next to nothing at all.

24 Aug 2014

Noir Is the Dullest Color: "Sin City: A Dame to Kill for" and "Island of Lemurs: Madagascar"

By Mike Schulz

Eva Green in Sin City: A Dame to Kill forSIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR

Let's cut to the chase: I don't like Sin City: A Dame to Kill for. But what I especially don't like is knowing that I'll eventually have to watch at least a portion of it again, because the only things I really cared for in this stylized noir were the scenes with Eva Green, and after waking from my brief and unanticipated nap, she was gone from the movie and never returned. What the hell happened to her? And if I was enjoying Green's performance as much as I thought I was, why did I fall asleep in the first place?

17 Aug 2014

They're Getting Too Old for This S--- : "The Expendables 3"

By Mike Schulz

Sylvester Stallone in The Expendables 3THE EXPENDABLES 3

To date, Sylvester Stallone has played Rocky Balboa on-screen six times, John Rambo four times, and, with the release of The Expendables 3, Barney Ross three times. According to the Internet Movie Database, Rambo V, with Stallone writing and starring, is currently in pre-production, and Rocky is set to return in a new feature titled Creed. In other words, Sylvester Stallone is the very last man you'd want handling the remains of your beloved dead horse.

17 Aug 2014

Limp Woody: "Magic in the Moonlight," "The Giver," and "Let's Be Cops"

By Mike Schulz

Emma Stone and Colin Firth in Magic in the MoonlightMAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

It would be wonderful to say that Woody Allen's Magic in the Moonlight, the lighthearted tale of a stuffy British magician (Colin Firth) who attempts to disprove the gifts of a convincing psychic (Emma Stone) in 1928 Paris, was a throwback to the auteur's oft-referenced early, funny movies - the ones, such as Sleeper and Love & Death, that we fans enjoy returning to again and again. (In the case of Love & Death, for me, "again and again" multiplied by about 20.) Unfortunately, it's more of a throwback to the writer/director's less-referenced early-autumnal period, and its not-so-funny movies - the ones, such as The Curse of the Jade Scorpion and Hollywood Ending, that even we die-hards didn't really care about the first time around.

11 Aug 2014

Time Flies: "Boyhood"

By Mike Schulz

Ellar Coltrane in BoyhoodBOYHOOD

Late in writer/director Richard Linklater's Boyhood - the finest movie yet by the creator of Dazed & Confused and the Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight trilogy - there's a simple scene between a mother and her son. The son, who is either nearing or has just turned 18, is heading to college and is packing a bag in his room; he and his mom talk while she pays bills in the kitchen. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the mother starts weeping. Her son enters the room and nonchalantly asks what's wrong (this is hardly the first time he's seen her cry), and she replies with a litany of romantic, professional, locational, and maternal decisions that we've watched her make over the course of the film. She asks where all that time went. Her son, offering a slight smile of empathy, goes back to his room and continues packing. The mother buries her face in her hands, and says, "I just thought there would be more."

10 Aug 2014

Brain, Brain, Go Away: "The Hundred-Foot Journey," "Into the Storm," "Step Up: All in," and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

By Mike Schulz

Om Puri, Manish Dayal, and Helen Mirren in The Hundred-Foot JourneyFriday, August 8, 10 a.m.-ish: I'm at The Hundred-Foot Journey, and five minutes into this lighthearted foodie dramedy, I'm already regretting my decision to only have yogurt for breakfast. With director Lasse Hallström's camera slavering over the creation of steaming, succulent pots and grills of Indian cuisine, all of it enhanced by spices and oils whose aromas are practically wafting off the screen, this is not the movie to see if you're hungry. Considering screenwriter Steven Knight's T-shirt-ready dialogue - which features such pithy bromides as "Life has its own flavor," "We cook to make ghosts," and the grammatically vexing "Food is memories" - it's not really the movie to see if your brain is hungry, either.

03 Aug 2014

One for the Funny, Two for the Shows, Three to Get Red-Eyed, and Four - Just Go: "Guardians of the Galaxy," "Get on Up," "Wish I Was Here," and "A Most Wanted Man"

By Mike Schulz

Zoe Saldana, Bradley Cooper(ish), Chris Pratt, Vin Diesel(ish), and Dave Bautista in Guardians of the GalaxyFriday, August 1, 9:50 a.m.-ish: Movies based on Marvel comics are routinely, sometimes annoyingly formula-driven. But 10 minutes into Guardians of the Galaxy, I really hope every subsequent Marvel release steals from this one, because all the studio's films - hell, all films period - should open with Chris Pratt doing a Singin' in the Rain soft-shoe to Redbone's "Come & Get Your Love."

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