23 Jan 2012

Ground Zero Offense: "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close," "Red Tails," and "Haywire"

By Mike Schulz

Tom Hanks and Thomas Horn in Extremely Loud & Incredibly CloseEXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE

The protagonist of director Stephen Daldry's Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - based on Jonathan Safran Foer's famed 9/11/01-themed novel and adapted by screenwriter Eric Roth - is Oskar Schell, an 11-year-old Manhattanite who tells a new acquaintance that he was once tested for Asperger's syndrome, but that "the results weren't definitive." My first thought upon hearing that admission was that Oskar's folks really should've sought a second opinion, because with young actor Thomas Horn tearing through breathless reams of stream-of-consciousness dialogue, his condition seemed definitive as all-get-out. My second thought, which I only fully composed during the end credits, and which I apologize for in advance, was that watching Extremely Loud was like watching a movie while an 11-year-old with Asperger's yammers in your ear for 130 minutes.

15 Jan 2012

Meryl Marky Mark Melees: "The Iron Lady," "Contraband," "Carnage," and "Joyful Noise"

By Mike Schulz

Jim Broadbent and Meryl Streep in The Iron LadyTHE IRON LADY

It's hardly a newsflash that over the past several years - well, forever, really - Meryl Streep has treated us to a run of extraordinary performances, and her Margaret Thatcher in the screen biography The Iron Lady is one of the most extraordinary of them all. Yet the vexing question regarding Streep's indelible work of late isn't "How does she keep doing it?" It's "How does she keep doing it with so little help from her directors?"

09 Jan 2012

Smarter Denser Colder Meh: "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy" and "The Devil Inside"

By Mike Schulz

Benedict Cumberbatch and Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier SpyTINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY

You know that handy, lame, relationship-ending sentiment "It's not you; it's me"? That's what I feel like saying to Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, the new adaptation of the famed John le Carré novel. I readily concede that director Tomas Alfredson's spy thriller is beautifully made, boasting engaged, cagey performances and a number of superbly shot set pieces. But for all of the film's merits, I found myself hugely relieved when its end credits rolled, because Alfredson's intensely complicated endeavor appeared so much smarter than I am that I took almost no pleasure from the experience. My issue isn't that the movie is a dog. It's that, for most of Tinker Tailor's 125 minutes, I felt like a dog watching a movie.

27 Dec 2011

A Good Movie? Aye. A Great Movie? Neigh.: "War Horse," "We Bought a Zoo," "My Week with Marilyn," and "The Darkest Hour"

By Mike Schulz

Jeremy Irvine in War HorseWAR HORSE

A grandly scaled adventure about a boy who gets a horse, then loses the horse, then joins the British infantry to find the horse, War Horse is the sort of triumphant, lump-in-the-throat epic that director Steven Spielberg should be able to pull off in his sleep. Consequently, the highest compliment I can pay the movie is that its helmer, at all times, appears to be fully awake here. There's palpable filmmaking energy in nearly every shot, and several passages in this World War I family drama are so thrilling and painful and spectacularly well-choreographed that they rank among the finest in Spielberg's career.

22 Dec 2011

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Loathe Them: "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," "The Adventures of Tintin,"and "Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked"

By Mike Schulz

Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig in The Girl with the Dragon TattooTHE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO

Although I haven't read the book and now have no desire to, my guess is that those who love author Stieg Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo will likely love the new film version, which boasts exceptional style and (as I understand it) doesn't significantly veer from the novel's narrative. Similarly, those who genuflect at the altar of David Fincher - and I'm occasionally one of them - will find plenty to adore here, as the director's signature imprint is on every seedy, suggestive, sepia-toned image.

18 Dec 2011

Choose to Accept It: "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol," "Young Adult," and "Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows"

By Mike Schulz

Tom Cruise in Mission: Impossible - Ghost ProtocolMISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL

A European nutjob wants to start nuclear apocalypse, and Ethan Hunt and his team want to stop him. That's my condensation of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol's needlessly complex plot in fewer than 20 words. Here's a condensation of my feelings toward this third sequel in fewer than five: The movie kicks ass.

11 Dec 2011

War, Strife, and the House of Payne: "The Sitter," "Like Crazy," "Margin Call," "The Descendants," "New Year's Eve," and "Dog Jack"

By Mike Schulz

Landry Bender, Kevin Hernandez, Max Records, and Jonah Hill in The SitterIn a rather perverse bit of scheduling, at least for me, last weekend brought with it the area release of exactly zero debuting films, while this past weekend delivered six ... on the same weekend, I should add, that I had a lengthy road trip out of town and appeared in four performances of a local stage production. But I'm not one to complain. Onward!

04 Dec 2011

Deer Hoofin' It: "Arthur Christmas"

By Mike Schulz

Arthur ChristmasARTHUR CHRISTMAS

Of the three (count 'em!) family films that opened the day before Thanksgiving, the animated Arthur Christmas initially seemed the most ideal option for younger children, given the nostalgic, in-joke appeal of The Muppets and the melancholia and gravitas of Hugo. Who could have guessed, however, that this frisky, buoyant entertainment might actually be the least appropriate for the grade-school-and-under set? Sure, the bright colors and fast pace will keep the ankle-biters amused, but is there any way they'll register just how freakin' hysterical this thing is?

28 Nov 2011

Play the Music! Light the Lights!: "The Muppets" and "Hugo"

By Mike Schulz

Amy Adams, Jason Segel, and The MuppetsTHE MUPPETS

I adored nearly every minute of the big-screen reunion The Muppets, the musical-comedy brainchild of screenwriters Jason Segel (who also co-stars) and Nicholas Stoller. But before commencing with the rave, I should probably offer a caveat, because I can barely imagine the conditions under which I wouldn't have adored this movie.

20 Nov 2011

Bella / The Brawl: "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" and "Happy Feet Two"

By Mike Schulz

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN - PART 1

We're now four films into the five-part series of Stephenie Meyer adaptations, and The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 is the first one that I wouldn't hesitate to call unpredictable. As someone who couldn't care less about the tortured love triangle involving the human Bella (Kristen Stewart), the vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson), and the lycanthrope Jacob (Taylor Lautner), I was confident that this moody romance would perk up with an added dash of Rosemary's Baby, once the now-married Bella found herself pregnant with Edward's child. (So the undead have living sperm, then?) But how could I have guessed this would be the exact moment that, at least for me, the movie stopped being interesting?

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